Open Post: Hosted By Bruce Jenner

July 2, 2012 / Posted by:

That’s Miss Brucie, if you’re nasty.

Here’s the real beauty of the Kardashian family sprinkling sugar on everyone’s tongue with his sweet poses at an autograph signing in Bensalem, PA over the weekend. One fan asked Bruce to sign an old Wheaties box and that box might make you think that he was so, so hot before Pimp Mama Kris slurped the life out of him and replaced his soul with globs of Botox, but I disagree. Pre-plastic surgery Bruce was so bland, so boring, so generic, so TYPICAL MALE. But the plastic surgeon’s scalpel opened him up into the beautiful and glamorous woman he is today. The Bruce of today can glaze a donut just by puckering at it. Everything on Bruce is perfect from his Zales diamond studs to his pulled face to his immaculate eyebrow situation to his pink-tinted lip gloss to his manicured fingers. I really want to see Bruce, Billie Jean King and Martina Navratilova together in Showtime’s new show, The Real L Word: The Golden Years.

And since Bruce has been a full-fledged Kardashian for a while now, isn’t it time for him to legally change his name already? I’m thinking Kandy Kardashian.

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