What Does It All Mean?!?
MSNBC and a bunch of people on Twitter noticed that the members and future member of The Tommy Girl Ex-Wives Club all have something in common and it might give you nightmares of the number threeeeee. This is some creepy numerology shit.
Mimi Rogers, who started all the Sea Org fuckery by introducing Tommy to Scientology, was 31 when she became the first Mrs. Tom Cooze in 1987 and 33 when their marriage choked on a gay bullet and died in 1990. Mimi was 34 when their divorce was finalized.
Nicole Kidman was 23 when she married Tommy in 1990 and 33 when their 10-year contract ended in 2001. Nicole was 34 when her shackles officially came off after their divorce finalized.
Katie Holmes was 28 when she became the third bride of Scientology in 2006 and she's 33 now. If their divorce goes through after December, she'll be 34 when she's officially free.
So every one of Tommy's wives was 33 when they split and 34 when that shit finalized. THE FUCK? Is 33 the age when God finally feels sorry for Tommy's wife and wins her soul back in a rock, paper, scissor match with L. Ron Hubbard on a neutral planet (Neptune, obviously)? Does the mind control spell wear off when she's 33? And each Tommy wife is almost 11 years younger than the last one. If Tommy is shopping for a fourth beard wife already, then that means he's trolling the IMDB pages of all actresses born in 1989 or 1990. Hide yo 22-year-old actresses!
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All the shit I hear about the fuckery that goes on in the COS almost makes me want to join just to see what really goes on. Two things stop me. I could never get on the celeb level and I like my money too much to part with it for lessons or whatever it is you have to pay for. If it were free I would totally try it, just to see.
Be pretty interesting if someone were longtime a "plant" and were doing a documentary or tell all book of what really goes down. It just baffles me that in this day and age people are still so naïve and believe the insane shit they spew. What/how do they do it? I need to know!
Submitted by christine the hoff on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 6:29am.
<3
Did anyone see the recent paparazzi pics, where Katie took Suri's icecream off her? BAM I think that was the nail in the coffin.
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How dare you
I bet you're right, and since I have an autistic son, you can only imagine the way I feel about Revolta and his beard denying that poor boy. there's a very special room in hell for them, I believe.
I guess what I was thinking was maybe both Tommy and Revolta are getting ready to bust out in a major way, and Katie wants no part of it.
Too bad Oprah's not on anymore. Katie could jump on the couch screaming, " I'm not that fucker's beard anymore!!!"
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"I didn't know whether to shit or go blind, so I closed one eye and farted"
Submitted by christine the hoff on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 5:49am.
Here's on to really ponder.
Travolta is getting caught with his pants down (And his anus open) right and left and all of a sudden, this.
makes ya go hmm.... so tommy and revolta are frogging each other and got caught..
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I almost believe the Cruise/Holmes divorce was intended to take the heat off Travolta. I just can't quite get there.
I think CoS is leaving Travolta out to dry a bit, because he admitted in court, regarding Jett's death, that Jett was autistic. JT was looking pretty sympathetic to the public there for a while - seen eating alone, looking desolate - while rumors swirled that he'd leave the CoS in the wake of Jett's death. I sure felt sorry for him. He seemed to be taking it much harder than Kelly Preston was. I'd go to hell if I believed in it, but I can't even imagine surviving the death of my child. I wouldn't want to live. But he might have been acting. I don't know.
I just think Katie Holmes' filing seems more assertive in this divorce action than Nicole Kidman was in hers. Holmes is not going to get sole physical custody, but she's asking for sole legal custody, which from what I understand, means she'd decide where Suri starts the first grade in the fall.
I think Katie Holmes planned this, without regard to the CoS, or maybe with regard to it as to all the other crap going down with them lately. Her father, as a lawyer, would be strategically-minded.
I don't think Katie Holmes did this to help Travolta out. I think she took the opportunity, and as someone else said before, she wanted out before the gay shit hit the fan in her marriage.
If Lohan could reign it in for 5 minutes she would be the perfect candidate. She could pretend to be saved by the COS, make mega bucks, finish her contract and when its all done she for sure would spill the beans for a few smokes and a bottle of Jack.
I do Pagents!
Because after visiting with Tommy over the weekend, Zac asked Katie,
"Is it true, Nyquil is a beverage?"
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"I didn't know whether to shit or go blind, so I closed one eye and farted"
Here's on to really ponder.
Travolta is getting caught with his pants down (And his anus open) right and left and all of a sudden, this.
makes ya go hmm.... so tommy and revolta are frogging each other and got caught..
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"I didn't know whether to shit or go blind, so I closed one eye and farted"
Submitted by Knative on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 4:35am.
Leelee wouldn't work; she's married, and TC wouldn't want to spark off backlash against his image by breaking up a marriage.
Camilla Belle seems like a better option.
Since KStew isn't hasbeeny enough (drat), how about Ashley Greene? She's desperate for attention, elegantly pretty in a generic way, mid-twenties. The only problem is that she's a bit short for him (ie she is only a couple inches taller).
Amanda Seyfried? Hmm, she's a bit too up-and-comey, but I could see him trying to chase her down for a new contract.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
This is fun thinking of suggestions for Tom Cruise's next beard. I think the ladies have to be a bit desperate and have careers in the shitter, so like Blake Lively or K Stew would be bad choices because this is their prime. Here are my suggestions: Ciara, Leelee Sobieski, or Camilla Belle.
WithinReason
LMAO @ How many times can you clutch your pearls before you give up!
Loopy, the lower members would not get the privilege of standing so close to the tender entrance. They'd feed and entertain the higher-ups only. Think Eyes Wide Shut! What a thing to be mixed up in! It's become his whole life! Katie just got tired of walking in on him, as did Nicole and probably Mimi! How many times can you clutch your pearls before you give up!
I wonder how long Travolta has been into CO$ it could be one of Tommy's publicists or agents initiated him *more likely* shady shady
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Katie's bent like a paper clip trying to get her head into the shot!
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 2:12am.
@ Whamo: *wipes tear* *waves official Dlisted JJ battle flag (picture of a dodo bird with its head stuck up a skeleton's ass)===============================================
LOL, more than proud to serve with you Mam:)
Your flag standard is BRILLIANT! I was just picturing us all dressed up battle weary yet victorious a la Monty Python's Holy Grail, complete with Brave Sir Passing Through clip clopping behind us complete with coconut "horse" a worried look and muttering lame insults
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 3:08am.
lol basically you just summed up the big reveal party, but only the super higher power master yoda obiwank-a-knob scientologists will have the privilege of getting their pic taken.
the slaves or low levels dont get a chance at all.
Wow, his body language in the picture with Mimi Rogers is pretty indicative of how all of his marriages would be. Obviously as he got more practise in the Hollywood/acting game, he learned how to present the front of a happy marriage. But Jesus, he looks like he barely wants to touch her in that first pic. That and he probably had no clue how to, either. He needs to step out of that big-ass closet of his.
ETA: I thought Mimi denied introducing him to Scientology? She could have lied, I guess, but what would be the point?
Loopy, that "grecian goddess dress" must have been Mimi's. Didn't she get him started on the Xenu path? And Zac was ever the same again!
That makes sense though, He's at the (SITPP) olol best name!... but would he heal so quickly!? He must have special power of pucker! And yes, to that bunch it would completely natural to pose next to the golden nono. Ok, you're next, *leans, spreads and grins*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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and at the party, everybody was gonna walk up to tommy and tell him how gorgeous his hole looks, and how it has taken 10 YEARS OFF HIM!!!
and people will stand side by side, with the faces next to his hole and pose for photos, some ppl might even put a finger in there to test it cuz tommy told them "I CANT EVEN FIT A GRASSHOPPER IN THERE ANYMORE!!!"
John revolta was seeing sulking in the corner.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 2:12am.
I don't think he'd want Jennifer Lawrence. She's earthy looking, not "elegant" looking or tall. (Seriously, why does Napoleon here always get with tall women?!)
Maybe he'll get KStew and mercifully kill her "career." Soon she's going to start sliding into irrelevance again when the Twishite movies end… or maybe she'll be Wife 5, since she's too famous at the moment to be a proper Scienobeard.
Hmm… what early-20something actresses are tall?
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Sasha Spielberg http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0818587/
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 2:52am.
well they doctors at switzerland's institute of tightening private parts (SITPP) have bandaged his nono hole, and i heard david miscaviage is throwing a "BIG REVEAL" party, where everybody gets to see the new tommy hole.
Like they do in that TV show Extreme Makeover.
Loopy, That's the drawback of all the sauna work isn't it? Do the have Kegel exercises for men? Post-surgery of course!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 2:47am.
no he didnt have pants on... or panties for that matter.
Tommy was channeling his inner cleopatra, so he was wearing a white grecian goddess gown and you cant spoil the silhoutte of a grecian goddess dress by wearing underwear.
Loopy, unshaven grapes LMFAO!! You mean Tommy had no pants on!!!!? :O
Mefunigirl, you get one OTM warning! ☺☺
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I read somewhere that TC was at a photo shoot, or something, and then they couldn't find him. JT probably picked him up on his private plane
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 2:41am.
tommy is Missing in action right now.
no statement, nowhere to be seeing.
i thought he was in switzerland getting his tunnel re-tighetened, they can do it with vaginas, so why not with buttholes.
tommy hasnt been able to wink with his butthole for almost 2 years, after 2 months after this surgery, he will be able to again.
PHM, He went missing? Per Loopy, we know he's at the sauna practicing his AAAHHHH AAAAHHHH faces! ;)
Tommy would get the CO$ headquarters to order him a private showing of this! LIVE!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 2:35am.
LOL you know that shit really happened right...
Oh lordy, poor katie walking in on tommy bending to touch his toes, and zac was kinda trying to look away but somehow he was fascinated by it and couldnt take his eyes off tommy's unshaven grapes.
Submitted by mefunigirl on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 2:36am.
me toooooooooooo
I am completely over the moon at this breakup!
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LMAO good one.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 2:15am.
man i had to go eat something, im exhausted from obsessing over this breakup.
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me toooooooooooo
I am completely over the moon at this breakup!
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Good lord Loopy,
"and then Tommy said to Zac "hay zac can you smell this choloform for me and tell me if it works?" and zac said "sure"
^^^This cracked me up! So bad!
After that he said "Hey Zac, I can touch my toes without bending my knees, can you do that?"
Ok, now imagine you are Katie walking in on that! *smdh*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Within -
Didn't someone say that Tommy went missing earlier? Maybe you will find him when you go see Magic Mike this weekend. lol
I think Katie will be the one to break and spill. That girl looks fucking beat down, tore up and worn out. I still think she was knocked the fuck up and Tommy stepped in to be her hero and she fell for it. Shortly thereafter she started looking miserable but it was too late to back out.
Owlie, saw a couple of your posts with reviews, hehehehe cinema craziness is not my thing at all but exceptions will have to be made! I accept the mission! ;D
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I still cant understand why Katie cant say penis, or vagina, like the time she was on Ellen denegerate.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 2:21am.
Yep happened about 2-3 years ago, Zac efron said in an interview that Tommy girl heard he liked bikes, so tommy's people called zac's people and arrange for zac to come over and look at his bike collection.
and then Tommy said to Zac "hay zac can you smell this choloform for me and tell me if it works?"
and zac said "sure"
hours later, he woke up with a sore ass and bite marks on his nips.
Loopy, did TommyG invite Zach to his lair to look at bikes!? Holding auditions for the next boy in waiting! He probably told them he was re-making La Reine Margot, lol Oh the tales that couch could tell... please no.
ETA: OK that second post... *faints* because we are talking about TG!
Foxxy, it will be someone who can be as quiet as a mouse like Nic and Katie were! At least most of the time, who knows maybe they were the opposite in private but I doubt it!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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and then tommy girl did the "oops i drop my pencil" move from Legally Blonde.
bend, reach and pop.
but he forgot to shave his balls that morning, so it wasnt a nice sight for poor twink zac.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 1:10am.
HoneyB, I'm ashamed to say, no leather pants. MM this weekend, in a trench, sunglasses and heels, that's it! LOL! That is if we leave and are not too happy to get there! Not sure if I can handle so much Boner. ;)
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Oooh! Have fun!
I already posted this yesterday but the Hollywood Reporter sums up MM thusly:
"A beefcake bonanza with heart as well as muscle."
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.
man i had to go eat something, im exhausted from obsessing over this breakup.
i was as excited as tommy girl when he invited zac efron over to his house to look at his bikes.
and when zac efron arrived, tommy girl was channeling cleopatra, laying down on a couch in a grecian goddess dress, being fed grapes by scientohole man slaves and when he and zac walked into the "garage" barry white music suddenly came on.
if you accept the numerology shit she's slightly outside his target age, but Lea Michelle, come on down! [who is more "desperate to move up" than that ho?!]
@ Whamo: *wipes tear* *waves official Dlisted JJ battle flag (picture of a dodo bird with its head stuck up a skeleton's ass)* happy to be part of your back up team, sir! sorry your concert was not up to expectations but still sounds like good time with good friends so all good ;-)
@ Within: have fun at Magic Dick, i mean Mike :-D
ETA: mmmmm hmmmmm Jennifer Lawrence is a damn good guess! i was going to go with her too but i figure she's smart enough not to get involved with TGirl and his gangster friends. Lea Michelle? dumb as a rock
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Terri I'm gonna pray to whatever gossip diety was listening last night that Brangelina goes off the rails next.
Whamo, You'd need to rent a magic bus to do the pub crawl rounds proper! ;p
Mefunigirl, That video explains a lot!
Tonicbitch, Brit's perfect, except he's anal about not having any outbursts and presenting the perfect image to the world, no? lol
Night HoneyB!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Tommy needs someone he can control, has a low profile at the moment and can spin any story concerning them. I'm going for Jennifer Lawrence mainly because she has no shit on her (that I know of) and she won't upstage him too much like katie used to. Why only actresses? Is it because they can fake smiles more?
As bizarre as this sounds, TC's heel lifts also are 3.3". I know, right?
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Vanessa da Mata, Boa sorte
Submitted by tonicbitch on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 1:51am.
I nominate Britney, just because her audits would be fucking hilarious.
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Good lord..they'd have her off her meds and she'd have purple hair, raging bipolar episodes...
hell...Hwood has been awfully boring lately. Did't someone say that recently? hahaha This would fix EVERYTHING.
@ mefungirl: His laugh is so CREEPY! 'you're either in or you're out" Katie's out but will little Suri be out?
@ Within: maybe before, during and after the movie. ha ha
@ Whamo: Great idea. I vote all the Dlisters to come to the Irish Times, drink and dance. Whoo hooo!
I best get my ass off to bed. Took some advil and water and lets hope I still don't reekl like gin tomorrow at work.
Client: "what is that perfume you have on?"
ME: "Ohhhh, it is called EAU DE BATHTUB GIN".
G'night all.
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Or the artist formerly known as SalmaNella
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 1:47am.
Whamo, sorry to hear the concert sucked! You need to see them at a smaller venue. Very disappointing! ;(
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Yes I'm not too big on the large venues for that very reason, I'd much rather see a good band up close. I looked forward to it for 8 months or so too. What can you do eh!
I nominate Britney for the "roll" as Tom's next beard, just because her audits would be fucking hilarious.
CO$: Tell us your deep dark secrets
Britney: *smacks gum, looks dazed*
CO$:......?
Britney: I'm totally rich
CO$: HIRED
Submitted by Honey_Badger on Sat, 06/30/2012 - 1:32am.
@ Whamo
P.S. I was in this cool pub called the 'Irish Times' and thought of you and Ms. Fury. Real good music and Guinness on tap.
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We still had a good night out and YES we did party
That's funny with the pub, If it was good Irish music playing I would have been dancing around spilling a pint all over me laughing.
Can you imagine all the D at a pub!!
Sweet Geeezuz there would be some angry mates in the morning!:P