Monday, July 2nd 2012
The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For June 29th!
Earl Scheib: "$399? We're not goin' near it for under 5 large." - RandéSleepover
Runners-up:
Miley figured she'd have to do something extra special to get another free double-double at the drive-through window.- turnelbup
The new Ford Fuckus gets 2 miles a gallon and has a 6 month waiting list - Chilly
How many Miles Per Whore does this thing do? - El Bastardo
via EF
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What led to Migrainuse's epiphany on Feminism?
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.
Epic Fail? More like Epic Win!
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.
Things have gotten nasty in the Tom and Katie divorce. Katie has revealed that Tom not only has a need for speed but also for cock.
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Or the artist formerly known as SalmaNella
NASCAR has been waiting forever for Jeff Gordon to just come out of the closet.
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If you ever need someone to drink with, I'll drink with you. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I'll drink with you. I guess what I'm trying to say is: I love to drink!!!
--Karen Walker
Katie's way of telling Tommy Boy that she's done.
J.Love is ready to hit the town with her vajazzled Lovemobile for some serious looove
Jodie Foster shows the world she has a sense of humour.
In a last ditch effort to try to turn his gay sister straight, Dick Cheney gave her a cockmobile for her wedding, hoping she'd see the light.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Queen Latifah got a new car and is trying to send us a subtle message that we fail to see.
The Valtrex dispenser is optional.
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Or the artist formerly known as SalmaNella
Now that stepford Katie's out of the picture, Tom Cruise didn't just sashay out of the closet, he burst out of it Days of Thunder style
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Just hit the mute button or turn your ears into vaginas (aka fold them over each other) -MK
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I can probably fit 10 dicks up my ass, but that doesn't make it right -MK
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It's funny, Tom can back that thing into the tightest spot!
As for add on features, you wouldn't believe how many lube dispensers can be added.
Now that Tom Cruise is single again after being married for so long and so many times, he's kindof lost his knack for subtlety when trying to find a new piece.
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Just hit the mute button or turn your ears into vaginas (aka fold them over each other) -MK
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I can probably fit 10 dicks up my ass, but that doesn't make it right -MK
***
Now that Stepford Katie is gone, Tommy Girl finally accepted John Travolta's invitation to cruise in the Scientolomobile for a hot piece.
In the letter she left on the dashboard Katie simply wrote "call it a gag gift"
And Jada's car says "I Love Pussy"
Katie couldn't decide on a theme for Tom's piece of shit: Top Gay, Dildos of Thunder or Marriage Impossible.
Now that Stepford Katie is paid off and out of the fold, Tommy Girl can finally let loose.
And on the trunk Katie wrote "no shit"
da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da
COCK MAN!!!
Guy Fieri's Saturn was recovered along with his Lamborghini.
The rudest thing Amber Heard has done for love.
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Joey got a crack at Tom's car (pun intended)
Caramel, yours is pretty damn hilarious too!
Submitted by Caramel on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 6:31pm.
Pimp Mama Kris saw this car and immediately ordered the black version for Kim.
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"When in doubt, freak 'em out" -- Sharon Needles
Thank you! muah!
Submitted by Caramel on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 6:25pm.
turnelbup that Miley one is hilarious!
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"When in doubt, freak 'em out" -- Sharon Needles
in ke$ha's mind, it was either this or another lip tattoo.
Katie got the kid, Tom got the family car.
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
The new 2013 Chevy Kardashian rolls down the assembly line.
Katie Holmes' farewell gift to Tom Cruise.
Must be from the used car salesman looking to fuck you every which way.
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
Kelly Preston is about to discover John's secret garage in 4...3...2...!
The 2013 Chevy Cruise. Comes in white, coral lemon, and periwinkle.
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
For an Asian car, it's surprisingly well-endowed.
On the bright side, things could be worse. The windshield could be emblazoned with the word "CHEAP" and the hood with "I LOVE CROCS!"
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
Must be the new Toyhota.
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
After failing to satisfy his Hungry Hungry
Butt Hole discretely with hotel masseuse peen, John Travolta decided to start driving around town using a less subtle approach.
The first fan to watch Magic Mike 1000 times wins a free car.
**When the world slips you a Jeffrey, stroke the furry walls.**
Ann Curry's revenge on Matt Lauer.
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
::Insert obligatory TommyGirl Kate Holmes divorce joke here::
Bieber Fever hits the Motor City
**When the world slips you a Jeffrey, stroke the furry walls.**
Hilton Hotels enters the rental car business.
Katie's early birthday present to Tom. The divorce papers are in the glove compartment next to the lube.
Pimp Mam Kris to her daughters: "... and you get a car, and you get a car ..."
Finally able to act like the rest of us, Katy vandalizes Tom's car
Miley Cyrus grows more desperate in her attempts to score free burgers at the In-N-Out drive-thru.
Much to everyone's dismay, this was Tom's doing, not Katie. His height lead to him misspelling "CHEAP".
Submitted by OurMissC on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 6:39pm.
The Scientology equivilent of the Popemobile.
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BAHAHAHAHA! Nice.
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Tommy boy delighted by Katie's divorce couldn't jump on Oprah's couch instead Wrote his true love on his car
Trying to spruce up her image as a mantrap, Sienna Miller has her bulldozer vagina restyled into a sporty coupe.