Why You'll Never See The Duggars At The Beach
While some of us make it through the hot as hell days of summer by only wearing a battery powered fan necklace, an ice pack thong and some sensible flip-flop heels to really class the look up, the Duggars will gladly overheat in pleated khakis and cotton turtlenecks, thankyouverymuch. In a column for TLC's Parentables blog (via Babble & ONTD), Michelle Duggar explains for those who don't watch her show why you'll never see the sinful sight of her bare thighs at the beach. The Duggars never wears shorts and never go to the beach, because if the boys see a bare lady knee, they'll hump a bastard child into it. Bare lady knees are the true dark-sided enemy of the lord, obviously.
Here's a few pieces from Michelle's blog on keeping it modest for Jesus:
We were searching through scripture, and we found where God talks about a covering -- what His idea of that would be. And in our heart before the Lord, we really came to a conclusion for our family about wearing modest clothes.
This isn't for everyone, and we don't push this on anybody. And we don't judge anyone that doesn't have this perspective, but for us, we felt like we needed to be covered from our neck to below our knees mainly because God talks about the thigh being uncovered, and how that's nakedness and shame.
Michelle really is speaking the truth. I remember reading in The Bible somewhere that when God created Adam and Eve, he put a pastel button shirt and khakis on Adam and a pastel polo-shirt and long denim skirt on Eve. That's why God put a Land's End outlet in the Garden of Eden. Now, I won't tell you what Adam did in the Land's End dressing room with the store's manager Steve. That's a story for another Bible study class.
And so in our dress -- whether we're doing activities that require us to climb, ride a horse, bike, swim, whatever -- we just want to keep the thighs and torso covered; we don't want to play peekaboo so that there's a visual element that might defraud someone.
For us the definition of the word defrauding is to stir up desires in someone else that cannot be righteously fulfilled. Now, granted there are a few people out there who could be stirred up by a cardboard box all the way from head to toe, but regardless we want to maintain modest dress.
Growing up I would wear a bathing suit or shorts and not realize that it was revealing. When I got older I really felt convicted about my responsibility for how I was causing others to be defrauded. And I began to cover up because I felt responsible for my part in that.
Again, the truth: Michelle is speaking it. Whenever I'm out in public and see a man's torso playing a game of peekaboo with me under his tank top, I automatically think he wants to fuck me. Then when I find out the truth, I have to sue him for fraud and call his no-no-teasing torso to the stand. It just gets messy.
I realize that you can't keep somebody from having wrong thoughts, but I do think you have control at least on how you present yourself. So as the older girls and guys grew up they became sensitive to their clothing choices. The girls would say, "Do you think this is too low-cut or should I put a pin here? Or what do you think about this? Is this too short?"
We really do know that this isn't for everyone; this is just our personal conviction before our Lord. And this is what our family does. There are some families that are much more modest than we are, while others families may feel like modest dress just isn't a conviction for them.
If I got a modest swimsuit every time Michelle used the line "We don't judge anyone, but..." I'd have a new sexy pool outfit for every day of the year.
This is also so easy for Michelle Duggar to type. Michelle doesn't have to expose her shameful, sin-luring knees to stay cool in the summer. When Michelle feels a sweat coming on, she just has to cool herself down by fanning herself with that wave of beauty on her forehead. Yes, those bangs are both glamorous and functional.
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I'm guessing one of the boys will become a porn star and one of the girls will get into the business of selling sex toys and providing live demonstrations.
I see that little slore in the front, in the pink, pulling up her shirt! Why isn't that child married and pregnant?
I see a bunch of ankles in that pic... and one baby thigh! Wanton sluts and hypocrits!
HER BANGS ARE MAKING ME HAVE SINFUL THOUGHTS. SHE SHOULD REMOVE THOSE SEXY BANGS OUT OF HER SEXY FACE.
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Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
http://lif3d3sign.tumblr.com/
I don't want Michael K. to stop posting Duggar shit because the comments are the best part.
Eh, I don't see anything wrong with her saying this. She certainly isn't trying to get anyone else to conform to this. Unlike say Islamists who think all women should run around in a burka.
And if you think that's a gross exaggeration ask any female journalist who travels through these countries if they have the option of NOT wearing a head covering.
Submitted by annobanano on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 1:52pm.
And they probably have sex through a hole in the sheet.
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that'd be them Hayseeds
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 2:14pm.
I'll tell you this as the day is long, a couple of these kids are going to rebel to the point they are going to be absolutely slutty FUCK MACHINES with the crazy upbringing they've had!
There is NO WAY all these kids are going to toe the line, no way no how!
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AND CALL THEMSELVES DIRTY NAMES WHILE AT IT. LOL
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Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
http://lif3d3sign.tumblr.com/
Does the father work? Does she? I read somewhere that she recruits the older kids to look after the young 'uns. Where do they get enough to pay for their frogspawn? If it is from media whoring then they are fucking hypocrites of the highest order. I just can't with these backwards brainwashed fuckers - sorry
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Certified Slore
I see neck on the girl in the white v-neck. What a whore!
I'll tell you this as the day is long, a couple of these kids are going to rebel to the point they are going to be absolutely slutty FUCK MACHINES with the crazy upbringing they've had!
There is NO WAY all these kids are going to toe the line, no way no how!
I know I already commented but it's fucking cult twunts like this that give America a bad name
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Certified Slore
Submitted by: Annobanano
There was a girl in our dorm we called "gaucho girl" - always wore those ugly-ass things since her religion didn't allow women in pants. Guess gauchos were her loophole.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hahahahahahahaha! Oh, that poor dear. Could you imagine gaucho's being " go- to garment" I'd die!
I can't WAIT until someone outs this freak. No one can convince that 'ol Jim Bob doesn't have weekly appointments (at least!) with a dom. He knocks on her door and she leads him to his cage.
Number 1 who can hate these people when you got OctoMom and her gaggle of welfare recipients
and Number 2 here in North America (compared to Latin America or Europe) when gym bunnies go to the beach these days these guys have shaven pecs, oiled chests, beach jewelry on, and baggy swim pants that almost hide their ankles - so she doesn't sound so ridiculous.
thats nothing, you should have seen the shit i had to go through when i was with my conservative islamic family when i went to the beach! it was basically a wet suit with a sheet thrown over it for good measure and a head cover.
I love you for writing such witty reparte that I actually kept reading through this bitch's nonsense just to get to your responses.
Submitted by undinespragg on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 2:05pm.
ah ok, i didnt know that. i guess that means when the husband says "kids go to bed, i need to mate with the woman..."
everybody runs to their bedroom, turn off the lights, huddle in the corner and listen as the sick fuck father call "the woman" to come please him.
i hate when people take the bible so literally. there are passages where is says to stone people with long hair (and every image i've seen of jesus he's a long haired hippie).
the bible says you can own slaves too. and i'm sure that they eat bacon even though the bible says not to touch the skin of dead pigs. and there's even something about not being able to wear clothes of two different types of cloth....and this family is all polyester blend.
i just don't get why they pick and choose which verses to follow blindly and ignore others.
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Miss your fucked up ways on my fucked up days.
Well, I was just trying to explain this to my 8 year old the other day when we saw women in full body and face covering.
She kept wanting to know more. "What kind of sin would the men commit?", "Hair is sexy?", "But does god want them to get heat exhaustion?" and so on. It was a difficult conversation to have, because I wanted to explain that that's what SOME people believe. And then explaining that while there's nothing wrong with her body, I didn't want her wearing some types of clothing.
Uggghghhhghghg.
Isnt it weird that sex is soooo disgusting, yet they have obviously had a shit tonne of it?!?!?!
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Certified Slore
They really are quite retarded.
"when God created Adam and Eve, he put a pastel button shirt and khakis on Adam and a pastel polo-shirt and long denim skirt on Eve. "--MK
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Lilith just wore a tank and some khaki shorts because those long ass denim skirts are heavy, and Lilith wasn't about that.
I'm all for modest, but these folks are a bit extreme.
@ Lisbet459; Oh dear! Those burkinis make those women kinda look like Olympian sperm. It's the head covering I think. :p
Submitted by loopygorilla on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 1:59pm.
why dont they just fucking wear a condom or do anal.
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They are part of a coercive religious group referred to as "quiverfull" where they try to have as many children as possible. Or "as many as the Lord sees fit" or some BS.
I agree, Michelle. I am ok with seeing as little as possible of you and your family.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 1:56pm.
*defrauds undinespragg*
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Damn you, for showing me those sexy knees!
I wouldn't be surprised if they were cousins or blood related because those kids don't look right.
i feel sorry for them because they will be out of touch with the rest of the world.
reminds me of a friend of a friend, who was from a really religious family, and when he turned 18, he moved to college and turns out, he was gay. it took him years to get over the fact that he liked dudes... and he was sooo awkward.
like when he asked you inside for a coffee and to look at his fish collection, IT WAS REALLY to look at the fish collection, like all the species and scales and colors blah blah...and there you were, thinking he called you upstairs to get some mack on.
Submitted by undinespragg on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 1:58pm.
Oh, there's no doubt... just like fuckin a bucket of water.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
tl;dr
why dont they just fucking wear a condom or do anal.
obviously the husband is a fucking demanding freak who tells her "the lord told me i need to fuck you tonight woman, because you were made from my rib bone, and right now i have a hard bone"
19 kids...seriously, unless you are a family of super geniuses, 1 is more than enough.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 1:54pm.
I bet she's a dirty little whore in the bedroom.
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I bet it's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.
*defrauds undinespragg*
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
It absolutely won't work.
Where ever you draw the line at modest, when it's crossed, that then becomes taboo. You can bet when one of those boys sees a girl's thigh they freak-the-fuck out and start thinking sexy thoughts. They are so fucked up.
There is nothing essentially sexy about knees, but there is an episodes where Michele is water skiing or something, and her knees are uncovered, so she had the camera people put black boxes over her knees for the show. REALLY??? How is that normal. Like we are all going to see her knees on camera and be and want to have sex with her.
And the whole term "defraud" in this context is disturbing. As if showing part of your skin, like your knees is inviting the person looking at you, promising them something, cheating them out of something. It's very sexist, and sets up this culture that males are entitled, and women's bodies are property. It's disgusting.
I bet she's a dirty little whore in the bedroom.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
*yawn
Submitted by annobanano on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 1:52pm.
lol a hole through a sheet.
i dunno why, but that made me think of a duggars doing it using a gloryhole.... ewww
MK, please stop giving these ignorant, tacky fucks attention. They're neither funny nor interesting.
STRIPPIN FOR JESUS. PRAISE HIM
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
MK, please stop giving these ignorant, tacky fucks attention. They're neither funny nor interesting.
And they probably have sex through a hole in the sheet.
There was a girl in our dorm we called "gaucho girl" - always wore those ugly-ass things since her religion didn't allow women in pants. Guess gauchos were her loophole.
Submitted by Hautie on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 1:47pm.
The woman has 19 kids and wants to sell about how modest she is... by keeping it all covered up.
Obviously, she is not against f*cking. A lot. 19 kids worth of f*cking.
But be damn, if she shows ole' Jim Bob a little knee during the day.
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Uh, yeah, I'm fairly certain that it's different since they're married. Time and place, after all.
Wait. You just made me defend the Duggars.
*glares at Hautie*
I'm glad she has something to believe in and all but FUCK... defrauding people?? really?!!! Bitch you could wear nothing but a breeze and I'm not gonna think dirty thoughts about your 80's dead bird lookin hairdo havin hairsprayed shit teased up to the moon havin ass.... fuck
And those kids are so fucking sheltered I bet they beat their meat like it owes them money.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
WELL THANK GOD she wears modest clothing, cuz after 19 kids, I do not want to see her in a skimpy bikini at the beach because her pussy would like two tenderized slabs of chuck steak with excess bits hanging out of her bikini bottoms.
and just like women who have hair fringes that they constantly tuck behind their ears, michelle has to keep tucking her saggy lips under the bikini every couple of minutes.
she wouldn't have a camel toe, she'd have a fucking elephant toe.
What an interesting take on scripture. Perhaps they can all just wear robes and berkas to really ensure their virginal integrity. Also, it's not really working. Even hidden behind 2 kids, a suit and magical underwear I'm still getting a "This daddy will fuck you" vibe from the Mister and it's driving me wild. I think it's his sexy neck.
*looks for fainting couch*
"I am special and I will never be one of you." - Charlie Sheen
Wow. Does anyone else smell the irony.
The woman has 19 kids and wants to sell about how modest she is... by keeping it all covered up.
Obviously, she is not against f*cking. A lot. 19 kids worth of f*cking.
But be damn, if she shows ole' Jim Bob a little knee during the day.
OMG I see that baby's knee. DEFRAUDED!
When she says "we", does she mean herself and her weird ass husband or all the kids too? There are 19 of them. How does she know that they all feel the same way? Can't imagine 7 year old children understand why they have to bake in turtlenecks & khakis while their friends are cool and comfy in tanks and shorts.
Heaven help me, this might be the most reasonable thing they've said.
That's not saying much, and it does stick in my craw - "because I felt responsible for my part in that"?! bluergh! - but whatevah.
One of my sisters in law is a fairly devout Muslim, and she wears a burkini.
http://tinyurl.com/d272xjj
No big deal.
Hubby needs to quit banging her head against the headboard when baby making. She sounds punched drunk.