Why You'll Never See The Duggars At The Beach
While some of us make it through the hot as hell days of summer by only wearing a battery powered fan necklace, an ice pack thong and some sensible flip-flop heels to really class the look up, the Duggars will gladly overheat in pleated khakis and cotton turtlenecks, thankyouverymuch. In a column for TLC's Parentables blog (via Babble & ONTD), Michelle Duggar explains for those who don't watch her show why you'll never see the sinful sight of her bare thighs at the beach. The Duggars never wears shorts and never go to the beach, because if the boys see a bare lady knee, they'll hump a bastard child into it. Bare lady knees are the true dark-sided enemy of the lord, obviously.
Here's a few pieces from Michelle's blog on keeping it modest for Jesus:
We were searching through scripture, and we found where God talks about a covering -- what His idea of that would be. And in our heart before the Lord, we really came to a conclusion for our family about wearing modest clothes.
This isn't for everyone, and we don't push this on anybody. And we don't judge anyone that doesn't have this perspective, but for us, we felt like we needed to be covered from our neck to below our knees mainly because God talks about the thigh being uncovered, and how that's nakedness and shame.
Michelle really is speaking the truth. I remember reading in The Bible somewhere that when God created Adam and Eve, he put a pastel button shirt and khakis on Adam and a pastel polo-shirt and long denim skirt on Eve. That's why God put a Land's End outlet in the Garden of Eden. Now, I won't tell you what Adam did in the Land's End dressing room with the store's manager Steve. That's a story for another Bible study class.
And so in our dress -- whether we're doing activities that require us to climb, ride a horse, bike, swim, whatever -- we just want to keep the thighs and torso covered; we don't want to play peekaboo so that there's a visual element that might defraud someone.
For us the definition of the word defrauding is to stir up desires in someone else that cannot be righteously fulfilled. Now, granted there are a few people out there who could be stirred up by a cardboard box all the way from head to toe, but regardless we want to maintain modest dress.
Growing up I would wear a bathing suit or shorts and not realize that it was revealing. When I got older I really felt convicted about my responsibility for how I was causing others to be defrauded. And I began to cover up because I felt responsible for my part in that.
Again, the truth: Michelle is speaking it. Whenever I'm out in public and see a man's torso playing a game of peekaboo with me under his tank top, I automatically think he wants to fuck me. Then when I find out the truth, I have to sue him for fraud and call his no-no-teasing torso to the stand. It just gets messy.
I realize that you can't keep somebody from having wrong thoughts, but I do think you have control at least on how you present yourself. So as the older girls and guys grew up they became sensitive to their clothing choices. The girls would say, "Do you think this is too low-cut or should I put a pin here? Or what do you think about this? Is this too short?"
We really do know that this isn't for everyone; this is just our personal conviction before our Lord. And this is what our family does. There are some families that are much more modest than we are, while others families may feel like modest dress just isn't a conviction for them.
If I got a modest swimsuit every time Michelle used the line "We don't judge anyone, but..." I'd have a new sexy pool outfit for every day of the year.
This is also so easy for Michelle Duggar to type. Michelle doesn't have to expose her shameful, sin-luring knees to stay cool in the summer. When Michelle feels a sweat coming on, she just has to cool herself down by fanning herself with that wave of beauty on her forehead. Yes, those bangs are both glamorous and functional.
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Submitted by svp on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 5:07pm.
I count 3 future gay boys in that picture...
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The one holding the "How to be Gay in the 21 Century?" book?
I count 3 future gay boys in that picture...
"That's why God put a Land's End outlet in the Garden of Eden. Now, I won't tell you what Adam did in the Land's End dressing room with the store's manager Steve. That's a story for another Bible study class."
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LOL MK!!! I'm dying here!!
I fucking love you!
Who the hell is the woman kidding? Of course she judges the holy hell out of people who wear skimpy suits at the beach. Thank goodness she covers up no one would want to lose their lunch looking at that things tree trunk legs.
So, they need to stop wearing slacks and start wearing long robes like Jesus did!
I bet jim Bob & Michelle make babies with their clothes on.
Submitted by smokeybaconflavour on Thu,
Submitted by Datura on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 4:36pm.
Then as soon as he cums he pulls out and goes to the bathroom to pray and cry the rest of the night because his wife is a filthy disgusting whore.
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Oh my god! I've got tears in my eyes from laughing at your Duggar sex
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Me too that's some funny shit!
I like how she keeps saying "we" like her kids have a choice in the matter. I wonder if any of those kids ven know how to swim.
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"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK
Submitted by smokeybaconflavour on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:22pm.
Wait, wait, what!? these dick faced fuckers declared their fucking house of fucking a church!!!!?! Isn't it a sin to fuck in church???! I actually want to see how exactly these two shit faced mother fuckers fuck. I bet he does her from behind and covers her with a sheet so he doesn't have to look at her being a dirty whore. Then he mechanically pumps away for an hour or two (her pussy is so loose at this point, he can't possibly feel anything when he sticks his dick in)with out making a sound or touching her with his hands. Then as soon as he cums he pulls out and goes to the bathroom to pray and cry the rest of the night because his wife is a filthy disgusting whore.
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Oh my god! I've got tears in my eyes from laughing at your Duggar sex scene! =D
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Submitted by Suckerpunch on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:43pm.
If your pussay was hanging out of your bathing suit because you had twenty kids you would be saying the same thing !!!!
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You're on Fiiiiiyyyaaaa!
LMFAO!!!
according to their own religion they're still going to hell cause they're wearing more than one fabric at a time. zippers and buttons? rayon and cotton? no heaven for you
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Just hit the mute button or turn your ears into vaginas (aka fold them over each other) -MK
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I can probably fit 10 dicks up my ass, but that doesn't make it right -MK
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Bitch please
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Just hit the mute button or turn your ears into vaginas (aka fold them over each other) -MK
*
I can probably fit 10 dicks up my ass, but that doesn't make it right -MK
***
LOL at Hekki...
I can only imagine Migraineuse's head fucking EXPLODING on this post...
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by Suckerpunch on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:56pm.
So we can't eye fuck people we find attractive ?
Is that out?
How am I going to make it the extra five minutes on the treadmill if I'm not staring at hot nalgas in gym shorts and trying to imagine myself not getting tired after being on top for more than five minutes ?
What am I suppose to stare at .. My heart rate ?
That is lusting in your heart SINNER!!!!!!
Where in the scripture does it mention FAMEWHORING????? Cause there's just got to be some sanction of it judging by how hard these two nutbaskets and their child-army go after it.
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
Submitted by Brown-EyedGirl: "I don't understand the no-pants theory for the girls.
It's a lot easier for a dress to flip up than for pants to come off. I need this explained!"
If you let women wear pants, next thing you know, they'll start thinking they're as good as men or something!
Keep your sexist bullshit to yourself, lady.
Haha... agreed. I wonder how hard it is to start a church? I'd totally be on board for this! I'd get a big house and a huge awesome party bus and a Soup Plantation salad bar in my living room, just like the Duggars! If only we could declare our home in International waters, too... we'd install slot machines asap.
Submitted by unemployed_bum on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:54pm.
I'm not in hate with Jim Bob as much as I'm terribly jealous that he is so clever. If only my husband had thought of little tricky tricks like that.
TRAGIC WHEN U LEAVE IMAGINARY FRIENDS TAKE OVER UR LIFE...
Where the hell in these Abrahamic religious texts does it say that women should dress modestly? What are the specifications? What the hell gives?! And don't tell me about the whole " your body is a temple" because that doesn't tell the whole story. Ugh.
So we can't eye fuck people we find attractive ?
Is that out?
How am I going to make it the extra five minutes on the treadmill if I'm not staring at hot nalgas in gym shorts and trying to imagine myself not getting tired after being on top for more than five minutes ?
What am I suppose to stare at .. My heart rate ?
Submitted by vapidlush on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:49pm.
I looked up the tax exempt thing and it's probably true. Makes me loathe these people even more. What hypocrites saying that they support their family without any help! They are praised for their thrifty way of life, write books about it, Jim Bob's investments paying for everything etc etc. But if it's all run through their "church"... total bullshit.
We should start our own church and write off our booze and other unmentionables. If the Duggars have taught us anything, whatever gets us closer to God should be tax exempt, right?
Submitted by lislop on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 2:35pm.
Jim Bob was a state legislator for Arkansas, so it's possible he qualifies for lifetime health benefits. Some states requires 6 years of service to qualify for lifetime benefits. Jim Bob has declared his home a church, and therefore qualifies for tax exempt status. I'd say that qualifies as public assistance.
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I'm not in hate with Jim Bob as much as I'm terribly jealous that he is so clever. If only my husband had thought of little tricky tricks like that.
Submitted by The Sunshine Gang on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:44pm.
I'm no Xtian, but I get what she's saying to a point. I see way to many butt cheeks on the subway, from people who should be ashamed AND people who shouldn't . Bottom line: I really don't need or want to see your ass cheeks no matter how smokin' you think you are. Its vulgar and unecessary. Also, they look pretty normal in that picture. preppy, but normal.
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You only feel that way because we're all taught that we should be ashamed and that our bodies are vulgar and disgusting from a young age. Why is it vulgar? When you look at a dog's ass do you think that dog is being vulgar and should be ashamed of itself?
Some muslims would think these duggar girls are dressed like filthy disgusting whores, asking to be raped, soo its all relative.
I used to watch the show a lot. I found it completely fascinating since they all truly seemed sincerely sugary sappy sweet n' happy. But after Michelle's "good wife 101" classes made the rounds, and the syllabus was posted online... I stopped watching. The list for the wife to keep her husband happy was noticeably longer and more daunting than what the husband had to do to keep the wife happy (well, duh). It makes her truly seem like a brain-washed sex slave. If you'd like to fill your day with anger, go search for it.
There was a "free Jinger" movement with hopes of freeing her from the family and getting her a pair of pants, among other things. She seemed the most normal of the bunch with her eye rolls at the appropriate times etc etc.
I looked up the tax exempt thing and it's probably true. Makes me loathe these people even more. What hypocrites saying that they support their family without any help! They are praised for their thrifty way of life, write books about it, Jim Bob's investments paying for everything etc etc. But if it's all run through their "church"... total bullshit.
We should start our own church and write off our booze and other unmentionables. If the Duggars have taught us anything, whatever gets us closer to God should be tax exempt, right?
Scientology is looking elegant compared to this.
Submitted by lislop on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 2:35pm.
Jim Bob was a state legislator for Arkansas, so it's possible he qualifies for lifetime health benefits. Some states requires 6 years of service to qualify for lifetime benefits. Jim Bob has declared his home a church, and therefore qualifies for tax exempt status. I'd say that qualifies as public assistance.
As a regular Christian, I'm always pondering why fundies are always on some Old Testament shit? What about Jesus? He would not give a lovely fuck about your state of undress--just your motives.
That said, I'm in the office looking a straight up ho by Duggar standards. I'm giving knee AND elbow today.
I'm no Xtian, but I get what she's saying to a point. I see way to many butt cheeks on the subway, from people who should be ashamed AND people who shouldn't . Bottom line: I really don't need or want to see your ass cheeks no matter how smokin' you think you are. Its vulgar and unecessary. Also, they look pretty normal in that picture. preppy, but normal.
If your pussay was hanging out of your bathing suit because you had twenty kids you would be saying the same thing !!!!
This lady can't wear a bathing suit , doubt it's a religious choice ..
It's good to use as an excuse though ! Yeah I'd like to wear those size 24 jeans but Jesus says that I shouldn't tempt men with my lusty camel toe .. So I'll just go ahead and wear my sweatpants and flipity flops
Submitted by KA on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:26pm.
the problem with this family and people like this in general starts right here with these words:
We were searching through scripture
people will look in the bible for any damn thing written that backs up their fucked up beliefs. like the bible was written in english 50 years ago. fucking idiots.
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YES!
Ugh, Michelle and Co.: Go all the way and go full on Cousin ITT or wrap yourselves up in a bag totally. Males too. Nobody wants to see your stupid, gullible, backwards faces or hairdon'ts.
The fact that these idiots walk the earth makes me want to projectile vomit.
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
*defrauds thread with thigh* lmao
Big deal. I don't wear shorts either, and it has nothing to do with religion. I think it is a style thing with me. I do think flip-flops are a creation of the devil, however. Satan gave the world flip-flops to induce laziness. First the people become too lazy to put shoes on, so they wear flip-flops. Then they become too lazy to put clean pants on, so they wear flannel pajama/Pink brand sweat pants everywhere. Then they become too lazy to wash or comb their hair, and go out with greasy hair and smelly pits. Its like a line of dominos.
Speaking of smell, it is like 100 fucking degrees right now, so the Duggars have got to smell like old cigars and bean burritos with all that clothing they are bundled up in.
Submitted by smokeybaconflavour on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:22pm.
Isn't it a sin to fuck in church???!
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I can see that... I wonder if fucking in the parish hall is a sin??????
*recites rosary*
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
@ Whamo
Yes, since 2000.
http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/s480x480/376410_443543459002822...
Submitted by Hekki: my 8 year old...kept wanting to know more: "But does god want them to get heat exhaustion?"
BAAHAHAHA!!! WISDOM RIGHT HERE!
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Just here for the fun
She defrauds JimBob on the regular because she can righteously satsify him riiight?! :O
& who doesn't feel sorry for all those menz she tormented & tempted in her youth. lol
Here's a chilling indictment of the the Quiverfull approach to child raising:
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/nolongerquivering/2012/02/carefully-scripte...
Just one example:
"3. Authoritarian discipline
Though they have not directly admitted it, there is a lot to indicate that the Duggars follow Michael and Debi Pearl’s discipline methods. This means they require absolute obedience from their children and see even bad attitudes as signs of disobedience. It also means they use corporal punishment. The Pearls suggest that you begin to spank your children at around six months, and they urge parents to spank a disobedient child until that child submits completely. Complete submission to the parent’s will is the hallmark of the Pearls’ teachings. Here is a quote:
If you are just beginning to institute training on an already rebellious child, who runs from discipline and is too incoherent to listen, then use whatever force is necessary to bring him to bay. If you have to sit on him to spank him then do not hesitate. And hold him there until he is surrendered. Prove that you are bigger, tougher, more patiently enduring and are unmoved by his wailing. Defeat him totally. Accept no conditions for surrender. No compromise. You are to rule over him as a benevolent sovereign. Your word is final. (To Train Up A Child, page 49)
The Duggars have stated that they use blanket training. What they do is place a baby on a blanket and tell the baby not to get off. If the baby crawls off, he or she is spanked on the leg, told “no,” and placed back on the blanket. If you do this for long enough, the baby will learn to stay on the blanket, and then you can safely leave the baby there while you cook lunch or school the older ones. This all seems counter to the nature of a naturally curious baby."
Bitch, please...I'm Amish and I am scandalized by all the buttons and zippers their clothing has. And where is the men's facial hair? And why are their heads uncovered? Disgusting, evil family.
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"Get the fuck out of the way, I want to see the Baby Jesus!" -- MK
The kids seem respectful of others have a good team work ethic and they do chores around the house without being asked, and any mom who can get that accomplished without having to beat a kid is alright by me *side eyes teen daughters room*
But is a woman with 21 kids trying to teach me about modesty?..... learn to keep yo' panties on first!
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
the problem with this family and people like this in general starts right here with these words:
We were searching through scripture
people will look in the bible for any damn thing written that backs up their fucked up beliefs. like the bible was written in english 50 years ago. fucking idiots.
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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK
I don't understand the no-pants theory for the girls.
It's a lot easier for a dress to flip up than for pants to come off. I need this explained!
LMFAO mk. *can't lol right now which makes it even funnier!!*
Wait, wait, what!? these dick faced fuckers declared their fucking house of fucking a church!!!!?! Isn't it a sin to fuck in church???! I actually want to see how exactly these two shit faced mother fuckers fuck. I bet he does her from behind and covers her with a sheet so he doesn't have to look at her being a dirty whore. Then he mechanically pumps away for an hour or two (her pussy is so loose at this point, he can't possibly feel anything when he sticks his dick in)with out making a sound or touching her with his hands. Then as soon as he cums he pulls out and goes to the bathroom to pray and cry the rest of the night because his wife is a filthy disgusting whore.
I wish they'd adopt Courtney Stodden.
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Iris Chacon, ahi viene!
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:11pm.
Submitted by little_rascal on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:00pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 2:49pm.
Submitted by Paquita on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 2:36pm.
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LOL, ya Paquita, is your SHIFT KEY BUSTED? :)
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IT'S INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK'S DAY BITCHES!
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
http://lif3d3sign.tumblr.com/
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:02pm.
Submitted by annobanano on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 2:59pm.
And why do I get the feeling Jim Bob dicktates (yes I know) what she should write in her blog?
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because women can't think for themselves?
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I'll bet Jim Bob dicktates like the dog's ass.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by luvsmekitty on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 2:52pm.
I'm willing to bet Jim Bob has his penis inside Michelle in this very photo.
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ROFLMAO!!!!! Judging by the goofy grin on his face, I think you're right.
I'm sure Jim Bob's got a snake hidden in those Goodwill pants.
Look at the number of redheads in that brood! If the Gingers want to save their species they should move to Arkansas and procreate with a Duggar. Jim Bob is the modern day Noah.
Submitted by little_rascal on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:00pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 2:49pm.
Submitted by Paquita on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 2:36pm.
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LOL, ya Paquita, is your SHIFT KEY BUSTED? :)
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WHAMSTER, JUNE 28 IS AN INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY.
If you were on Facebook right now you would know hahahaha!
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Really you're serious?
I leave you with this:
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DB0Rau01wbeo&v=B0...
Submitted by annobanano on Thu, 06/28/2012 - 2:59pm.
And why do I get the feeling Jim Bob dicktates (yes I know) what she should write in her blog?
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because women can't think for themselves?
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers