Open Post: Hosted By John Travolta’s Impeccable Hair Mat

June 28, 2012 / Posted by:

One way to keep gossiping hos from whispering about what you do on the massage table is to temporarily hypnotize them with the exquisitely manicured velvet rug on your head. That’s exactly what John Travolta tried to do at the NYC premiere of Savages last night and it didn’t work, but he looked sharp as three fucks while trying.

If you put a luscious brown tail on John’s forehead and told him to pucker his lips, his head would almost look like the backside of a brunette vulcan unicorn. Just glorious. You kind of want to dye it green and play golf on it. John didn’t stop with the hair either. John brought out his best pose game and out-posed Blake Lively, Ezra Miller, Christopher Meloni and Taylor Kitsch.

I’ve always said that if a camera is in front of you and you really want to make nipples tingle, just look like you’re on step 6 of The Macarena. Give them a “Hands on hips, are you ready for this swish?” pose.

Oh, and Dear Christopher Meloni, let’s get naked and burn that hat together. xo

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