Friday, June 29th 2012
The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For June 28th!
Galapagos. Come for the scenery, stay for the Tortoise Fucking. - cgwalt
Runners-up:
Leave it to senior US Senator Mitch Mcconnell to be the latest republican to get caught in a public sex scandal. - Ashton Cruz
Sex outdoors and from behind? We're going to have to consult the Scripture on this... - turnelbup
"Now our dad is covered for his pre-existing condition of Zoophilia! Thanks, Obamacare!" - Strepsi
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eww i knew it. when i was at the zoo last month the turtles were doing that too and the lady next to me was telling her little kid that the turtle in behind was saying to the one in front, "if you don't hurry up im just gonna leap frog over you" :/
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Just hit the mute button or turn your ears into vaginas (aka fold them over each other) -MK
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I can probably fit 10 dicks up my ass, but that doesn't make it right -MK
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Unless tortoises blow each other and have long penises, I'm sure they are not fucking. They are facing opposite directions and not even in a 69 position.
I'm too Type A for my own good.
Great Job Hookers!!
I liked Strepsi's other caption, even thought it would win!
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
Haha winners well done!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Congratulations winners! Bery bery foonie!
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Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
http://lif3d3sign.tumblr.com/
Congrats winners!! Nicely done!
Thank you and congrats to the winners! Love you all! Fleur_de_lis is correct - these babies make the funniest sounds when they go at it. I think there's a Youtube of such an encounter, but even turtle sex is NSFW 'round my gulag, so I can't search and post for ya'll.
Submitted by fleur_de_lis on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 9:20am.
Not a caption, but this photo is even more hilarious if you know the sound a male turtle makes during sex.
Like a 90-year-old!
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"When in doubt, freak 'em out" -- Sharon Needles
These are great! LOL strepsi!
Mountain Dew is the Andre of sodie pop. - Michael K
LOL Sen. McConnell really does look like a tortoise without a shell! Congrats to the winners.
Congrats to Ashton Cruz! Yours was my favorite. One question, though - how could you tell that both tortoises are males?
Turtle secks is just gross!!!!!!
Not a caption, but this photo is even more hilarious if you know the sound a male turtle makes during sex.
Like a 90-year-old!
The Duggars won't wear swimsuits to the beach because that's just slutty, but they will watch turtles fuck to high heaven all day long and call it Science.
**********Not a comment*************
Apologies for numerous last minute posts, I'm in an ambien haze......
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Just some old fashioned turtle lovin' family style!!!
Hef finally does the dirty deed with someone his OWN age!!
I stop frequently on your site that I really like, it lets me get away and think about other things .... What happiness! Thank you .
Voyante sérieuse
He's a premie ejector, so this should just take about 48 hours boys, now smile for the camera damnit!!!
Although zoo visitors loved Zookeeper Smyth's animal reenactments of Oscar-winning movies, he was suspended after his all-reptile version of "The Accused".
and the award for 'world's slowest photo bomb' goes to...
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I don't like you, but if I did I'd tell you that hair was a mistake
BAREBACK!!!!!!
(= Good !)
Making that tortoise hump one of Paris Hilton's platforms was a surefire way to get everyone to smile for the camera.
In true hillbilly style, the Cyrus family send their blessing to Miley with a "Congrats for your engagement" greeting card.
Tonight on National Geographic Channel you will see one of Sting's five-hour "tantric sex" sessions with his lovely Trudie.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
"It's true! You can have sex with your man at any age!" (said Catherine Zeta Jones)
After the turtles gatecrashed with this fuckery, the teddy bears cancelled their picnic.
Merry Christmas 2012, from the Voyeur Family
Mom's laughing cause she's hiding a boom box in her fanny pack that's playing "Let's get it on...."
By 2050, who knows how many rings Chicken Leg will have collected??? I mean, she's only 37 and she's on her 3rd marriage!! I just KNEW that all this time she'd been waiting for that droopy eyed Chimp to propose. He'd been stringing her bony ass along, even though she bought and delivered 5 kids.
Maybe the next one will be a Billy Bob Thornton look-alike. Ahhhh. Never mind, Billy dumped her. Bad memories.
Passersby in 2050 will STILL be able to wonder:
- could this be "the one" for our Jen?
- is that a ring I spy on our Jen's left ring-phalange?
- is our Jen pregnant at last at 85?
- doesn't our Jen look a little desperate on top like that?
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Aniston is artistically, intellectually and reproductively barren.
Paltrow is a walking argument against nepotism.
Hey, no cutting in line, I am next!
Visitors to YentlLand catch a glimpse of Mr. & Mrs. Brolin.
...and to your right...John Travolta lumbers unto another massage therapist
After winning the race, the tortoise and his lady friend proceeded to go at it like rabbits. Very old and slow rabbits.
Lindsay Lohan's costar's nalgas flew her so close to the sun that they both exploded into stardust that still lights up Hollywood.
Savannah Gutherie wasted no time in fucking over Ann Curry.
My issues now have issues.. So take a number.
The Jackman's attempt to mentor the remaining Jonas brothers was an over-shelling success.
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
Mom and Dad smile in the background since they just agreed the perfect name for their third child will be: Two Turtles Fucking.
This one's a dud. Wonder if I could still catch that hare?
Down and out in the Galapagos, two turtles enlisted a family of American tourists to shoot their sex tape and deliver it to Ryan Seacrest.
Not a caption, but dude looks like I feel.
Top Turtle: Ain't it good Bitch! Ain't it good to ya Ho?!
Bottom Turtle:Uuuhhh,sure. Wake me when yer finished.
Honey, can you hurry up, I'm getting sore.
You're so hot, I'm gonna blow it any day now!
'Deliverance', Galapagos style
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Cakes and pies!
Coming next on TLC's Strange Sex, Bobby discovers what cures his sexual dysfunction.
Well, now the Smiths know the answer to the age-old question, "Does Russell Simmons fuck in the woods?"
And onto the next zoo exhibit, entitled "spanking the monkey"....
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
Hey kids...who wants to see a live performance of the famous children's fable, "The Tortoise and the Handjob?"
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
Now Jessica Simpson has resorted to showing pictures of her birth on Twitter??