Woe Is Johnny Depp
Lainey at Lainey Gossip read and covered UsWeekly's cover story about the tragic demise of VaJohnny, and you'll believe all of it if you believe that Vanessa Paradis nagged at Johnny Depp so much that he finally walked the plank of their marriage and dove face-first into a sea of snatch. Vanessa whine cried at Johnny about living on a private island with just the kids, so he drowned his sorrows in his publicist's chocha. Vanessa whine cried at Johnny about wanting to move to Los Angeles, so he drowned his sorrows in Amber Heard's twat. It was kind of like a drinking game. Every time Vanessa bitched about something, Johnny did a shot of punane. Lainey broke UsWeekly's mess of a story down like this:
-V wanted to break up 2 years ago because she was unhappy
-V complained all the time about their low key lifestyle. She didn’t want to stay on a private island and quietly raise their babies. She was bored and restless.
-V was the one who wanted to move to LA and that’s when it all unravelled.
-V was the one who insisted that he make big budget Disney movies because she loved the money. Johnny wasn’t interested but only did them for her.
(Please tell me you’re shaking your head and rolling your eyes now.)
-When those movies became big ass deals, V then resented J for his success.Says an Us Weekly source:
“Nothing Johnny did was ever good enough for Vanessa. When he was working, she wasn’t happy. And when he wasn’t working, he was called a slob for not doing enough for the kids and her family.”
Frustrated and in pain, the only outlet Johnny had was other woman - someone who played a mermaid in Pirates, maybe Eva Green, Amber Heard, his publicist...
That shit reads like it was taken directly from his publicist's strategy book marked "How To Spin It So JD Doesn't Look Like He's Crashing Directly Into A Mid-Life Crises." UsWeekly forgot to include the one where Vanessa tried to kill all of Johnny's hotness by sucking his sense of style through the portal of doom between her front teefs. Seriously, if Vanessa whined at him about everything, couldn't she have whined at him about dressing like what it would look like if a witch turned a Sedona souvenir shop into a human?
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Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 1:43pm.
woo Jennifer's sexy vacation! There goes my girl JENNY A! Don't be fooled by the rock she just got, she's still Jenny riding that COCK! And the haters keep hatin y'all! What do YOU ride? A shitty Mazda from the 80s to go pick up your unemployment check??! Haha! I am laughing so hard in front of my computer right now because my girl Jenn does nothing but keep winning and brushing off all the putrid hate that her haters try to swing her way!! Now she's got a sexy man in her life and is out and about showing him off to the world! What do you show off? Your bunyan that you got from rock climbing like some dumb dyke in the desert? Hahahah I would freakin DIE if I had your life! I'm just saying! Haha later haters!!!
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Lmfao *wipes tears from eyes*
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.
Johnny has said for years that he hated America, but didn't seem to ever mind collecting American money for his films. He also said SHE was the one who wanted to live in France, because they didn't want to ever raise their children in the United States. I've never cared for him and have always found him to be a hypocrite. Plays the same character in EVERY stinking movie. Wonder if he's that boring irl. Probably why she left him.
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
Forget Johnny and AngieHo, the real story is Katy Perry not wanting Russell's baby!
Thank you Katy!
The world is not ready for another butt ugly spawn of some hairy jerk who believes they are talented.
I mean did anyone else see Jessica's kid? Poor thing looks like a scoop of mashed potatoes about to drool out some gravy.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
-Ash
Whamo-
No I was really wondering about why you had your opinion - I just can't tell. Like with some things I can tell like meth - and I mean there are a lot of ppl that read these sites that are "in the business" so I thought you might have some juicy gossip. You were like because "you get that feeling" that's all I wanted to know. I mean you might have a lot more experience with ppl who have been on H. I personally haven't so I can't tell. But the weird thing is that in the tourist he looked all puffy ( instead of the sunken cheeks) - what do you think was up with that?
Kissing Ass and Cupping Balls. You're Welcome.
Submitted by Lutrelle on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 4:04pm.
WHAT'S GOOD??
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Bath Salts. Try some.
Well somebody wrote a bio about Brangelina and there wasn't even the suggestion of abuse in there so for me it's bullshit. Some people are just born crazy.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 3:04pm.
Whamo - I am surpressing my Deppaloonieness to defend him. ...
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M.E., apologies if the term "Deppaloonieness" was coined further below but ollollollolllo ;D
It sounds just like BrangelinaJustifer! Guess VJ reached the tabloid big leagues with their *separation* darnit those tabs are sneaky! After all this, VaJohnny just better not still be doing it on the downlow or I will be PISSED! haha
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Daniee on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 4:04pm.
Interesting about the drinking and it fits as does what Whamo said about opiates. Addicts aren't fun to live with and maybe, just maybe she got tired of it. He's really bizarre in interviews and a drink/drug problem would explain it. Team their kids.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 3:04pm.
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 3:01pm.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 2:56pm.
keep proving your youth, honey. see you in OP
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I'm not seeing a counterargument. I'm certainly not seeing anything backing up your assertions.
And if you're sooooooo busy, and so dedicated to managing your time, where *do* you find the time to (1) make those unsubstantiated assertions in the first place, (2) read here and (3) then reply?
Lizbet,
I'm quite sure you have no qualifications to judge if someone has anger issues but of course you are entitled to your opinion, which is pretty laughable. ( I don't mean that in a mean way)
I totally get this is a gossip website which is why I think it's bullshit to say - Oh this is criminal to talk about or have an opinion about this or that- but whatever. I've said how I feel on the matter.
Kissing Ass and Cupping Balls. You're Welcome.
I have to agree that saying people have molested someone isn't nice and I personally would hope I wouldn't take part, but I do not beleive anything on Dlisted is off limits. Is it??
What I actually thought happened between those two (Ang and her pops) and I really thought this was true, was that in some interview he let it out that she had been in counselling when she was a teenager for histrionic personality disorder and then she just said hey stop talking about this stuff in public and cut ties with him. He apologized.
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 4:34pm.
Submitted by Whamo: "...I'll tell them to fuck off and kiss my brown fucking ass"
I always thought you were a white guy!
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I'm half and half Irish / Jamaican lol:)
Submitted by Datura: "Did I miss something? Where did this "Angelina was sexually abused" stuff come from?"
Datura, I am only speculating, but generally the type of behavior Angelina exhibits/exhibited is classic in women who were sexually abused. Drug abuse, hypersexuality (a big one), self-mutilation, provocative behavior... I also think her savior complex comes from that, too. There are some people you look at and you just KNOW some ill shit damaged them. Aubrey O'Day is another one.
Whatever. Obviously she has issues but I don't wish her ill. I hope she is working on them and not affecting her kids.
Submitted by kissingassandcu... on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 3:59pm.
Skinny Fat obviously child abuse is horrible but you are defending someone for no reason, you're defending someone who might be a child molester, you're not even defending the person who might have been molested. Anyway it's fine I think the more the merrier when it comes to stopping child abuse the better but I dont think censoring a discussion on the topic is creating any kind of progress in the matter.
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Holy missing the point, Batman!
Innocent until proven guilty. If your standard of proof is someone saying something on the internet, then pretty much anyone "might be a child molester".
Asking for evidence, and telling people to not fling shit, is not censoring. It's not defending child abuse.
Submitted by kissingassandcu... on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 3:44pm.
Lisbet grow the fuck up. Foxy can say what she wants when she wants- she doesn't have to "prove" anything to you at any particular time. She said she has reason to believe and that's that. If she wants to share her reasons she will . Until then calm your demanding ass down. You don't boss people around like a fucking jack ass unless that's what you are.
If you think otherwise about what she was talking about why don't you do your own research and report back.
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Good lord. So much anger. So much sanctimony. So much bullshit. So little time. (Seriously, look into your anger issues.)
This is a gossip website. It's meant to be fun, and there's a certain amount of throwing suspicions and hunches around. For instance, it's basically taken as a given that Ben Affleck is constantly cheating on Jennifer Garner, even though no girlfriends have come forward (? that I've seen).
That's fine. They're grown ups who willingly put themselves in the public eye, and assuming someone is a dawg is not the same as saying they're, say, a murderer or something.
Things like child abuse, incest, rape etc., ARE DIFFERENT. They're crimes. They're morally abhorrent and, if true, their coming to the public's attention would justifiably destroy someone.
So, if Foxxy is going to say that she thinks a man abused his daughter any chance he got, then yes, she has a moral obligation to back that up. Otherwise, she's just throwing shit that could destroy him. Hiding behind the "well, it's just MY OPINION, so leave me aloooone" crap doesn't change things.
I have no idea whether her assertion is true or not, and I have no obligation to provide evidence, or even take a position. I do know that she needs to come up with something to back it up.
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If you think otherwise about what she was talking about why don't you do your own research and report back.
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Oh, for heaven's sake. This might be the weakest, most pathetic attempt at an argument I've ever seen.
If Foxxy wants to make a claim like this, then SHE, and she alone, has the obligation to do her research. I'm not going to prove some half assed ramblings wrong, because that's not my job.
Submitted by Whamo: "...I'll tell them to fuck off and kiss my brown fucking ass"
I always thought you were a white guy!
silly folks... JD is on the oxycontin... it's the designer heroin, and much more popular amongst those who don't want the stigma of "heroin user"... just my opinion, don't mind me.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by kissingassandcu... on Wed,
Whamo- why do you think Johnny is on the H - inside knowledge? Honestly it wouldn't surprise me but just curious as to how you know or why you are pretty sure about it.
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Ultimately I don't know, but I've seen enough sullen sunken cheeked faces of people that I DO know are on opiates, I sure the hell know a LOOK of a person on OPIATES and THIS is what I base my OPINION on.
Have you ever driven by a guy and said holy shit, he looks like a crackhead. Do you KNOW he's on crack, probably not but I'll bet he still looks likes fucking crackhead doesn't he!?
See this is my point, I don't have a problem with you calling me out and asking WHY I think he's on Heroin but if you told me I needed to PROVE it to YOU or shut up about it, now this is where I would have an issue because who the fuck are any of us, and who would give any of us the morally authority to demand anyone give anyone else proof or don't say it.
If we needed proof to say what we want to say here, there would be a hell of a lot of tumble weeds blowing through these threads.
I will continue to make any wild accusation I so choose if anyone doesn't like what I say feel free to call me on it but if anyone demands I give them proof of ANYTHING is say I'll tell them to fuck off and kiss my brown fucking ass, I don't need to prove shit to anyone!
I usually can't stand Lainey's "writing" but I'm sure glad she covered this story. Remember, she is in Vancouver and people from film sets here KNOW his behaviour. How he gets boxes and boxes of special booze flown in cause the shit here isn't potent enough, how he surrounds himself with a wall of people who have to drag him from the dinner table at restaurants cause he is always so drunk. How he stays in his trailer and drinks all fo the time. And this is from 6 years back or so.
I know I have been harping about this on here for years....well, anyway. lol. It just bugged me that people thought he we so very pretty and amazing cause I knew otherwise.
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 4:15pm.
Did I miss something? Where did this "Angelina was sexually abused" stuff come from?
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someone's imagination?
Submitted by Lutrelle on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 4:04pm.
WHAT'S GOOD??
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Frolicking in the ocean on a hot summer day.
Vodka tonics at the end of such day while sun is setting.
Ice cream.
Sex.
Dlisted.
Did I miss something? Where did this "Angelina was sexually abused" stuff come from?
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Johnny's money went to his head, and now he wants a younger, prettier, second wife/life-partner.
This is just another case of a guy who's made it deciding that the woman he was with isn't good enough for him anymore.
JD's publicist/people are trashing Vanessa, because if they didn't, public sympathy would be with her- that's bad for Johnny financially when Vanessa sues him for child support. Also, trashing her makes it harder for her to get any kind of personal settlement from Johnny for herself.
Whether or not Johnny's on drugs is irrelevant to this situation. It could be part of the mid-life crisis, and come up when/if Vanessa fights back, but I don't think it had to do with him wanting out. That was all because of ego.
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An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.
"Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too." ~Voltaire
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Submitted by kissingassandcu... on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 3:59pm.
I see your point and since St. Angie Ho used to be so OPEN and HONEST about all the crap she did and kissing her brother and considering how PISSED off she was at her father, I think she'd have said so. She was once so unedited and anything and everything just spilled out of her mouth. It's like she had to top her own outrageousness. THAT'S why I said Voight did not molest her.
Now about Depp, I always thought he was an overrated douchebag. Cheating in Hollyweird is second nature and I criticized him for letting his reps diss Paradis who is the mother of his kids. She's probably a douchette too.
He's a boozy unprofessional cunt. PERIOD. I don't care about the rest. People say mid-life crisis, but this guy has been drunk for nearly 13/14 years. Name a film he is in where he isn't slurring that has been made in the last 15 years.
WHAT'S GOOD??
Skinny Fat obviously child abuse is horrible but you are defending someone for no reason, you're defending someone who might be a child molester, you're not even defending the person who might have been molested. Anyway it's fine I think the more the merrier when it comes to stopping child abuse the better but I dont think censoring a discussion on the topic is creating any kind of progress in the matter.
Kissing Ass and Cupping Balls. You're Welcome.
Lisbet and skinny fat
You are saying Johnny is being a dick - meaning you actually believe Star Magazine or whatever - dude really? You do know they make up about 95% of everything in those rags........
Whamo- why do you think Johnny is on the H - inside knowledge? Honestly it wouldn't surprise me but just curious as to how you know or why you are pretty sure about it.
Kissing Ass and Cupping Balls. You're Welcome.
@Kissing Ass and Cupping Balls - make me get off that high horse about child abuse. MAKE ME.
French chicks... *shakes head*
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Anyone saying JV DIDN't molest Angelina is just as stupid and anyone who says he DID in a way because no one has proof so just let people say what they want instead of getting all high and mighty " this is where we draw the line" Give me a fucking break and get off your high horses sluts!
Kissing Ass and Cupping Balls. You're Welcome.
Hekki: it's crazy how much those kids look like Angie's Mom int that pic
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
All this time poor innocent Johnny was the victim of Big Bad Vanessa's insatiable demands!
yeah, okay.
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
Lisbet grow the fuck up. Foxy can say what she wants when she wants- she doesn't have to "prove" anything to you at any particular time. She said she has reason to believe and that's that. If she wants to share her reasons she will . Until then calm your demanding ass down. You don't boss people around like a fucking jack ass unless that's what you are.
If you think otherwise about what she was talking about why don't you do your own research and report back.
Kissing Ass and Cupping Balls. You're Welcome.
Are the Sedona souvenir shops really that bad now?
PS-we named our daughter Sedona....
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Fuckery is what fuckery does.
Submitted by skinny fat on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 3:34pm.
I think St. Angie Ho displays classic behavior for spoiled rotten Hollywood brat brought up with no boundaries and got away with anything and everything because she's pretty
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Yes.
I do however believe she was sexually abused somewhere down the line because her destructive behavior and self mutilation, drug addiction, etc added with her over sexuality screams it.
Wow, collossal douche move, Johnny. He cheated, and now the time-honored whinefest ensues. No sympathy.
However, I don't buy that Vanessa is an innocent angel in all this. I totally buy that she's a whining, high-maintenance bitch.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
I think St. Angie Ho displays classic behavior for spoiled rotten Hollywood brat brought up with no boundaries and got away with anything and everything because she's pretty.
Maybe having sex with her brother fucked her up.
Pedophilia is off limits for me. It's just too disgusting and I wouldn't accuse someone of it. The worst thing I've ever said is someone looks like a kid toucher. It's a horrible accusation. I can't with that. I just can't. That and killing your kid.
Now back to Douchey Depp...
My personal opinion, and I don't have proof of anything of course, is that Angelina was sexually abused by SOMEONE. I don't think it was her father, for the record.
She has displayed many classic behaviors of someone who was abused.
Also, this:
http://articles.nydailynews.com/2009-10-27/gossip/17937209_1_marcheline-...
Now, I am NOT giving Angie any shade for that, because it sounds like statutory rape. And it's completely GROSS for any man to fuck his girlfriend's daughter, no matter HOW hard she tried to "seduce" him.
Whatever. She's messed up.
Submitted by skinny fat on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 3:18pm.
Who's the asshole who accused Jon Voight of sexually abusing Holie? I can't find the post. That person needs a good slap upside the head and get their ass back to JJ.
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Her:
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 2:28pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 2:24pm
i'm half ass trying to work right now but if i catch u in OP later i'll try to find some links to stories suggesting that he was physically and sexually abusive to her. she says the type of stuff about him that suggests to me that he abused her, and he definitely says creepy abuser like shit about her. the hate-hate relationship they have seems to back up the rumors, imo
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
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"If I can't be my own, i'd feel better dead"- Nutshell
I'm pretty sure these two just grew apart and that's it. A bunch of my pals have worked with Depp and dude is really nice and chill. As hard as that guy tries to keep his family/kids lives out of the public eye, I really can't see him being some sort of womanizer. They aren't married. If he wanted to bang other hos he could have just dumped Vanessa a while ago. People just love a scandal and are trying to make it more than it is.
*inappropriately gropes Whamo*
Whether Voight is a Pedo or Angie's Mom drove her to be the phyco cunt she is is ALL speculation!!
At the end of the day who gives a shit!! come on guys, we are here on the D to be cunts to EVERYONE and no one has to prove anything to anyone EVER...
We say all sorts of shit here and when has anyone been told THEY HAVE to prove ANYTHING...EVER.. tell that to me when I'm goofing around and I tell you to FUCK OFF!
That's all I got to say about that!
I saw JD up close and personal about five years ago and had a short convo with him. He was delicious-looking. Healthy, beautiful. And so humble and soft-spoken it was almost like a parody of himself! This, what we see now, is classic mid-life crisis, no?
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Submitted by Ellie May on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 3:07pm.
My friend saw Depp up close and personal recently and was so disappointed. Skinny and naaaasty looking.
Who's the asshole who accused Jon Voight of sexually abusing Holie? I can't find the post. That person needs a good slap upside the head and get their ass back to JJ.
Uh oh:
http://www.showbizspy.com/article/243986/johnny-depp-and-vanessa-paradis...
Haha, LS, naa, just working and school. And watching Eurocup... (actually doing that at work right now) ;-)
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 3:15pm.
UBF! Oh my! Where you been? You said you were getting a ****job and then we never heard from you again so I was WORRIED you'd got the Michael Jackson.
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OMG! That made me do one of those cough giggles and I think I peed a little.