This Is Supposed To Be Paula Deen's Body Today
Ever since Paula Deen made the Land O'Lakes girl reach for the noose when she announced that she's got Type 2 Diabetes, she's been eating healthier and has traded her usual lunch of deep fried cake and bacon sandwiches for salad and baked fish. The Parkay tub's former nemesis tells People that not swallowing an entire Domino sugar factory every day has melted 30 pounds from her body in six months. Paula is still losing the chunk and says that soon the mound of white Ursula hair on her head will weigh more than her body. Paula owes her new size 10 body to slowly making changes in her diet, not eating all the deep fried deliciousness she makes, Photoshop and People Magazine waving a check at her.
"I do think differently now. I'm more aware. It took me a couple of years to get to this point. If you make a few small changes, they can add up to big results."
Seeing a skinnier Paula Deen is as weird as seeing Kim Kardashian without a black peen in her mouth. But I'm happy for Paula that she's eating healthier shit and yes, I typed that with one hand while sucking chocolate pudding out of a sugar cone with the other.
Also, if you switched Katy Perry and Paula's faces, that cover would look exactly the same. Their faces were harvested from the same place! Also also, are those shoes on Paula's feed made of breadsticks, cheese and better. I guess if you can't eat 'em, wear 'em.
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Good for her although the photoshopping makes it look like she lost more than 30 pounds.
I don't go by sizes when I go clothes shopping, I go by what I think will fit and what's on sale. I've got stuff in my closet ranging from size 0 to size 6.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Who would watch the No-food channel.
It would just be people standing there.
Katy Perry does have a harvested face and I never recognize her. I don't think she has enough personality but maybe that's why she is so popular. She isn't any one thing so people can pick the one they want. Her parents are creepy, too. I really wouldn't be surprised if she came form some X-Files laboratory.
http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/
Daniee: Lard is making a comeback. It has special qualities for cooking that Crisco can't match and is not as bad for us as they thought. (like butter and eggs and coffee).
We used to get donuts that were fried in lard and they were delicious. Not greasy and just the littlest bit crispy, while being moist inside. Mmmmm.
It's the same with all animal fats. I keep bacon grease in a cracked teacup in the fridge for when I make rice and beans or bean soups. And if you're making matzoh balls and chopped liver, you HAVE to use chicken fat. They're not the same without it.
Darnit, now my belly is hungreh!
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 5:08pm.
yea, yea, yea... healthy. Pssssht
*dips pizza in rotel dip*
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
I guess the Atkins diet worked.
Kiss Me, Sluts!
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 5:11pm.
Skinny fat: nah, she's not making Armenians look bad. The Armenians I know are extremely well educated and would disown their daughters for behaving like that trash heap of a family. The two families I know have doctors and lawyers for daughters, not cumdumpsters and whores.
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^This.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 4:44pm.
Submitted by Daniee on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 4:40pm.
It's so annoying. I went to Anne Taylor to buy some cute summer dresses for walking around the city. I Had to buy extra small petites...I am small (short) but I am NOT an extra small. I have to wonder what people who are actually tiny have to buy? XXXXXXS?
I bought size 0 shorts (Gap) the other week. I am NO size 0. There are stores I don't even bother with since there jumbo vanity sizes aren't small enough. WTF
Well, if she did lose the weight, her body can only love her for it. It's tough when you're forced to change habits as f'ing bad as hers! Diabetes is hard but hey, props to this reformed "all-you-can-eat and share it" delinquent!
*thinking about the vat of lard she used to ingest like it was nothin' yuck!*
#scary
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by fredfred on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 5:01pm.
sinjin - not too far off. it's humiliating for a 35yo chick to be sporting shit made by osh-kosh.
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my gf shops in the junior misses dept with all the little tweens... when I was with her I was standing around looking like a total child toucher...
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
If there is cosmic justice. She will spend eternity having heart attacks over and over while inept demons try to figure out how to work the defibrillator.
Vanity sizing came about a decade ago when the first of the baby boomers hit 60s.
It's to keep the demographic happy and feel less of the middle age spread. Such as the same goings on in the supermarket. They didn't raise the price but instead they give you less of or shrink the quantity of said product. It's the feel good tactic used by marketing companies & advertisers in order to not lose our cu$tom whilst fooling us with it all in the process. Hence the dumbing down of America plot thickens. It's just another con job if you're far enough out of it you can see it. Up here in Canada we don't have size 0 or 00 or such silly misnomers for sizes. Sizes start at 5 & go up to 12 if you are a size 14 that's considered a plus or specialty sized clothing. Even Walmart can't get away with the illogical trickery due to strict labelling laws.
" Oh my heavens , my photo has vanished ! "
Skinny fat: nah, she's not making Armenians look bad. The Armenians I know are extremely well educated and would disown their daughters for behaving like that trash heap of a family. The two families I know have doctors and lawyers for daughters, not cumdumpsters and whores.
People still eat Lard? I remember so clearly my Mom chucking all of that in 1979.
Submitted by Hekki :
I hate her because she was such a condescending bitch to this black lady she had on her show. She had worked for Paula a long time ago or something, and I forget now what exactly Paula said or did but I remember just seeing her true colors, the way she treated that woman. It pissed me off.
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Hmmmph! She strikes me as the type to act that way. I wonder if it was before or after she found she came from a family of slave owners on that show.
"Paula owes her new size 10 body to slowly making changes in her diet, not eating all the deep fried deliciousness she makes, Photoshop and People Magazine waving a check at her."
MK, you're killing me! It's so funny because it's TOTALLY TRUE!
M.E. - haha, that's funny! I'm the opposite size - smallish waist and lots of jiggle in my thighs. I wish I could buy more expeneive stuff....it fits better. Sometimes I try at consignment spots. The Asian stores do not exactly work either cause they typically have shorter legs. I would suggest that for you more petite ladies though. Try the Asian malls if there are any in your city.
Jack - if you make that deep fried abomination, I will send EEG to you to kick your ass!
You iz supposed to be eating HEALTHY! Remember?
*takes cooler of beer*
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 5:06pm.
Submitted by moomarse on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 4:55pm.
Skinny Fat - here you go, baby! Happy heart attack!
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*prints recipe*
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hmmm, i'm taking this the wrong way. *gives side eye to jack
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 4:26pm.
I can smell her girdle and four layers of Spanx from here.
Submitted by moomarse on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 4:55pm.
Skinny Fat - here you go, baby! Happy heart attack!
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*prints recipe*
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Since OP is MIA -
I got a text msg from one of the leaders at summer rec this morning. I opened it and it was a video of Little P dancing to earn prize tickets.
Hands on hips, sticking his butt out and moving his hips round and round. JFC! HAHAHAHAHA!!! That kid has NO SHAME!
30 lbs??? more like 100! (duh,think about how long it took to put on all that weight Paula)
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"5 mile an hour with aluminum side"
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 4:57pm.
Submitted by MahatMaCoat on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 4:54pm.
I'm a bit rusty on the UK/US sizing differences - what does her 10 equate to in the UK?????
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UK = 12, European = 40
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Thanks M.E - 12?!?!?! Ha ha ha ha ha - I am a UK 12 and I could CAMP OUT in her clothes - schnarf!!
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Certified Slore
She's still a pig. I'm sure she's wearing double spanx in that picture too. If she took off that horrible wig she would drop 10 lbs instantly. But then we would have to look at a balding fat old lady so...
Paula Deen can "Kiss My Grits"
"Her secrets will surprise you".
Yeah, because they're complete lies.
sinjin - not too far off. it's humiliating for a 35yo chick to be sporting shit made by osh-kosh.
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watching hardcore ufos
Daniee - I've noticed that too, legs are tight and the waist is gapping.
Accomodating muffin tops?
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 4:54pm.
Awww, that's so nice of you! I'm sure she thanked you after. : ) I never take my man with me shopping, not even grocery shopping cause that's all he does is loom over me and complain.
Submitted by moomarse on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 4:55pm.
Skinny Fat - here you go, baby! Happy heart attack!
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paula-deen/deep-fried-mac-and-cheese-...
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thanks, Y'ALL. y'all so nice to me, imagonna cry.
Liked her when she used to cook from that yellow Victorian house. But that was a really long time ago.
MIGUELINA I TOSS AND TURN LATE AT NIGHT FOR NOT THINKING EARLIER OF GETTING POPEYE'S CHICKEN AT ONE PLACE THEN GOING TO A KFC SOMEWHERE ELSE JUST FOR THE SIDES AND THEN COMBINING THE TWO. THOSE LATE SWEATY NIGHTS, MIGUELINA!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 4:50pm.
Jacko, I love a man with a plan. Now tell me a plan that involves ooool, erl, or oil......however the hell you say. ;-) please
Submitted by fredfred :
i've discovered that the largest of little kids' shit fits. that's where i go for t-shirts.
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LOL, pictures you wearing any Sesame Street t'shirt. :-P
http://cn1.kaboodle.com/hi/img/2/0/0/fb/7/AAAAAru3XyIAAAAAAPt1rQ.jpg?v=1...
Glad to see that I am not the only one perplexed with these silly smaller sizing changes. I'm sorry for you ladies who are tiny and can't get anything nice to fit. I feel a little lucky I suppose to be just a little smaller than average. I won't drag it out (I promise) but has anyone else also noticed that the waists are too big too, like, they have to be larger than they used to be cause again, my waist hasn't really changed. ???
Submitted by MahatMaCoat on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 4:54pm.
I'm a bit rusty on the UK/US sizing differences - what does her 10 equate to in the UK?????
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UK = 12, European = 40
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 4:50pm.
anyone who likes/defends that kuntrashian klan is a moronic imbecile. YES THEY ARE. and i'm armenian and wish that bitch would stop saying she is. making us look bad. of all the armenians in the world, THIS twat gets fame, money and adulation? my grandma is rolling over in her grave.
And 30lbs is only just over 2 stone, that's probably just half a ham hock on her - this smells fishy to me....
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Certified Slore
I hate her because she was such a condescending bitch to this black lady she had on her show. She had worked for Paula a long time ago or something, and I forget now what exactly Paula said or did but I remember just seeing her true colors, the way she treated that woman. It pissed me off.
Skinny Fat - here you go, baby! Happy heart attack!
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paula-deen/deep-fried-mac-and-cheese-...
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Fuckery is what fuckery does.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 4:36pm.
The only recipe of hers I use is her chicken fried steak one, because my BH loves him some chicken fried steak and my "healthy, tasteless" veersion was not a win with him.
The only things I changed are that I don't use LARD to fry it like she recommends or season it with MSG.
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I did the same thing when my old man asked me to make her chicken fried steak for him one night. Some of her recipes scare the shit out of me.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
I don't care if she lost so much weight she erupts into a cloud of smoke. She's still a flaming assholio.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I'm a bit rusty on the UK/US sizing differences - what does her 10 equate to in the UK?????
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Certified Slore
I went shopping with my gf a few weeks ago (uhg) and the shit she bought ranged from like a xs to a 0 to 2 to 4... and yes, I held her purse while she tried on everything in the store and only wound up buying two pairs of freakin shorts EXACTLY like the ones she had on... *spits*
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by Bigbendy on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 4:46pm.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 4:40pm.
Submitted by cokeysniffy on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 4:38pm.
Why does everyone hate her so much?
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because she is thin
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AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAH WE JIST JELLIS!!!!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
*runs to Ann Taylor*
I see her show now and then and she has people cooking with her. Last show I had to watch because she had some Southern belle 80 year old corpse with a church hat and clown makeup on and a big broach the size of a hubcap. Grande Southern Dame. So she asks her to chop up something and you could see it was labor and Paula says "oh here you want me to do it?" and MeeMaw says "Yes. Yes I want YOU to do it."
That poor old thing!
Not this racist sonafabitch again.