This Is Supposed To Be Paula Deen’s Body Today

Ever since Paula Deen made the Land O’Lakes girl reach for the noose when she announced that she’s got Type 2 Diabetes, she’s been eating healthier and has traded her usual lunch of deep fried cake and bacon sandwiches for salad and baked fish. The Parkay tub’s former nemesis tells People that not swallowing an entire Domino sugar factory every day has melted 30 pounds from her body in six months. Paula is still losing the chunk and says that soon the mound of white Ursula hair on her head will weigh more than her body. Paula owes her new size 10 body to slowly making changes in her diet, not eating all the deep fried deliciousness she makes, Photoshop and People Magazine waving a check at her.

“I do think differently now. I’m more aware. It took me a couple of years to get to this point. If you make a few small changes, they can add up to big results.”

Seeing a skinnier Paula Deen is as weird as seeing Kim Kardashian without a black peen in her mouth. But I’m happy for Paula that she’s eating healthier shit and yes, I typed that with one hand while sucking chocolate pudding out of a sugar cone with the other.

Also, if you switched Katy Perry and Paula’s faces, that cover would look exactly the same. Their faces were harvested from the same place! Also also, are those shoes on Paula’s feed made of breadsticks, cheese and better. I guess if you can’t eat ’em, wear ’em.