Wednesday, June 27th 2012
Open Post: Hosted By Ke$hit's New Lip Tattoo
The Garbage Pail Kid of pop Ke$hit showed her Twitter followers the tattoo she got on her lip yesterday and I'm pretty sure it's the exact same tattoo her face twin John Travolta has on his b-hole lips. Seriously, I know we're all thinking that Ke$hit has a funny way of spelling "Get Syphilis Here," but that's not what's got me scratching at my think area. How is it possible that her teeth don't look like old lady nails dipped in shit? Ke$ha's skin is covered in several layers of gross, but yet her teeth are so clean? Screw brushing and flossing daily. I'm going to follow Ke$hit's daily dental hygiene regimen by barfing up glitter, rinsing with jizz and brushing with a bottle of Jack. Bitch knows.
via HuffPo
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And whatthehell is up with Open Post lately?
Why are y'all staying on topic???
*screams*
The FedEx guy was just here and I was talking to him (same delivery dude all the time* he stumbled when walking in the door and the door slammed into his leg and he was jumping around in pain like a little bitch. I asked WTF happened. Apparently, where the door hit him, is where the ER removed a 4" piece of flesh from his calf last night because of a, wait for it...
BROWN RECLUSE SPIDER BITE!!
*runs around screaming, flailing arms*
BLECH, what a gross mouth shot! Like a colonoscopy visit brought to life.
Do they tattoo anuses? *gags*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Mike - king of the antifatties.
Boomp boomp boomp boomp boomp boomp boomp...
*plays oompa loompa music for thread*
Imma half Messican and I can't stand that shit.
Keep yo music to yoself!
Ugh, the CT pic today reminds me of this time that I house sat for friends who had a ball python. It had outgrown its cage, so it just lived in the bathroom. The thing would try to crawl on/climb me when I went in there and it was kinda cool until it came in the shower with me and did NOT want to leave.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 6:11pm.
WTF? There is an article on my Yahoo that say size 6 is now considered plus size.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
Hey now! I wrote that.
I keed, I keed
Thanks Bigbendy and Daniee! I left my 28' horse trailer at her new house and a box of contractor bags. Told her in 2 weeks I was coming back and taking whatever was in there to the dump.
I think the last straw was us moving empty egg cartons she had saved for crafts. They were crushed from bein long forgotten. :-/
Chewin - I'm sorry hon. I remember from last year how the fires can fuck with your head. You'll be fine dear. Keep the eyes and ears open.
Hi Guest!
Edited to spell cuss words properly. Damned auto correct!
Submitted by Mayo on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 5:49pm.
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Ahaahaha Mayo, he looks cute, like a little man... er.. wait, didn't she have a little girl? lol Not a gerber baby but looks kinda like her! Maybe someone just woke her up *I'd be grumpy too* lolol
@chewinsmoke, stay safe!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░
Aww, thanks guys. I just have to rant about it. It's so devastating. I'm just north of Denver and I'm fine (aside from all of the smoke and ash in the air), but that whole scene down in CO Springs last night was absolutely surreal. It looked like Baghdad or Fallujah or something. No shit. The Air Force Academy is on mandatory evacuation notice and this afternoon they're predicting extremely windy conditions...which does not help in fire mitigation. So crazy. If you pray, ask God/Allah/Buddha/Santa Claus/whomever for rain here in CO. We need it SO BAD.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
Submitted by mefunigirl on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 6:10pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 5:30pm.
A friend calls that "cirucs music" ... I loath that music. LOATH IT!
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Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
http://lif3d3sign.tumblr.com/
Is that gold toof in there?
Ahhhhh! I give up on humanity.
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Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
http://lif3d3sign.tumblr.com/
@ chewinsmoke, I'm so sorry that happens. It's horrifying & devastating. I feel even worse for the people and animals trying to survive that stuff. :(
@ mefunigirl: Call the cops! Everywhere I've lived, loud music is not acceptable after 10 pm. That is so f'ing rude of neighbors who do that crap without regard to people who have to get up in a few hours. I always mentally blast Pavarotti back at thier asses >:?
WTF? There is an article on my Yahoo that say size 6 is now considered plus size.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 5:30pm.
yesterday in the car there was no place safe to rest my ears. First station on the radio is playing Bieber, the next that "Moves like Jagger" shit, the next was some gangster rap shit and the next was the mexican fiesta 'oompa oompa
' sounding stuff. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CLASSIC ROCK STATION?????????????
............
Our neighbor across the way owns a mexican restaurant which means free food for their parties right? so they have them OFTEN and the music they play? that mariachi stuff.
Now don't get me wrong, I pretty much like all kinds of music, but when its 2 am and we've been hearing LOUD ASS mariachi music for about 6 hrs now, I wanna take that dam trumpet and stuff it up someones arse.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 5:58pm.
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I have a close friend who lives near Denver - she texted me a pic last night that was terrifying!
Stay safe.......
Chewin... :(( stay safe
Spotty...HI!
Jack... :O
*thinks JSimps babeh is a cutie*
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 5:58pm.
I've seen some pictures and it is truly unreal. Very sad. Stay safe.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Chewy - I saw the news last night. It's awful!!!
Poor Colorado.
*waits for CA fires to start up*
lol @ soft kitty and jack's weenus. You guys are funny.
And off I go on my rant about the fires here in Colorado. It really, really looks like Armegeddon here and it's totally freaking me out. The entire northwest side of Colorado Springs was on fire last night. The fire just west of Fort Collins is still raging along. A new fire started a mile west of Boulder yesterday afternoon.
If you have a mental image of what hell looks like, I'm sure it's not far off from what's going on here. If you have plans to visit Colorado, change them. You don't want to be here. :(
*checks Mayan calendar*
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
Mayo - agreed that Simpleton's kid isn't one of the cute ones. WTF is with the strawberry mark on her forehead?
Jacko - isn't that 50 Shades shit just some Twitard fantasy crap?
*refuses to read it*
*watches pron instead*
Submitted by M.E. :
sinjin - I wasn't trying to be rude calling it ooompa oompa music, that is just how it sounds to me.
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No, no, no, no, I didnt' take it that way at all :-) No worries! It's a good way to describe it. I just haaaaate it myself. I grew up in Texas and it was everyyyyywhere. :(
Mayo - agreed that Simpleton's kid isn't one of the cute ones. WTF is with the strawberry mark on her forehead?
Jacko - isn't that 50 Shades shit just some Twitard fantasy crap?
*refuses to read it*
*watches pron instead*
Submitted by sinjin on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 5:52pm.
Why are ya'll being so mean to Jack's weenus?
*pats weenus* "There, there lil' guy. Do you want me to sing Soft Kitty to you? It's sort of appropriate."
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LOLOLLLLLLL purr purrr purrrrr
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Why are ya'll being so mean to Jack's weenus?
*pats weenus* "There, there lil' guy. Do you want me to sing Soft Kitty to you? It's sort of appropriate."
Submitted by sinjin: "That "oompa oompa" shite is "Banda". The Mexican's got it from the Germans settling in Texas in the 1800's."
And there's my "I learned something on Dlisted today" moment.
My dad used to play oompah/polka music. I heard a Bobby Vinton song today and got all misty-eyes.
for all of you that have read 50 Shades of Grey... hahahahaa
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1RcKJVbHA
*yells for MissJaney*
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
I don't want to sound like bitch but honestly, jessica simpson's kid is fug and this picture proves it:
http://img.europapress.net/fotoweb/fotonoticia_20120627143825_800.jpg
Not cute.
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"If I can't be my own, i'd feel better dead"- Nutshell
Submitted by annobanano on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 5:40pm.
thumb dick
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that's some 50 Shade of Arkansas shit right there....
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 5:39pm
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I can't judge - I live in Nebraska!
sinjin - I wasn't trying to be rude calling it ooompa oompa music, that is just how it sounds to me.
I hear it everday at lunch when the warehouse workers next door go out and play soccer.
@ Flynn - AHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Ugly bitch.
I truly believe that you haven't begun to scoop up all of life's beautiful moments until you've heard the line "Watch the wig!" from a piece while sitting on their face. - MK
Well, I'm off to run some errands and get supper.....see you folks again!
@SpottedDogRanch - you sound like a great daughter! Put your feet up now and have a nice cup of coffee. You deserve it. : ) Sorry to hear of your Mom's hoarding tendencies. I think older people may want to hold onto things from their past as long as possible (or is she a collector of things?).....we are having a similar issue with my partner's Dad. He moved in nearly two years ago and his boxes that he refuses to have us unpack are everywhere. He has loads of books. He won't let go of a sewing machine...I mean, wtf?
Submitted by M.E. :
yesterday in the car there was no place safe to rest my ears. First station on the radio is playing Bieber, the next that "Moves like Jagger" shit, the next was some gangster rap shit and the next was the mexican fiesta 'oompa oompa
' sounding stuff. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CLASSIC ROCK STATION?????????????
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That "oompa oompa" shite is "Banda". The Mexican's got it from the Germans settling in Texas in the 1800's.
One of the perks of moving 2,000 miles away was not having to be subjected to it. Hearing that automatically sends me into a conniption fit. This weekend I discovered my new neighbors across the street were unopposed to playing it so loudly I could hear it through thier closed windows! Mercifully it stopped after one "song", but I don't think my glares at thier house had anything to do with it. :P
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 5:32pm.
Hi SDR, you are a good daughter. You won't regret it. It's true that what comes around goes around. Noe take it easy and rest your back. That's an order ;-).
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 5:26pm.
I simply can.not. with teeth and gums...
The next tattoo I get is going to be on my penis... it will read
"Pascagoula, Mississippi" in 1/2" lettering (dreams)
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A gay friend of mine claimed to have MIT, spelled out, on his. I declined to see....
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Fuckery is what fuckery does.
A guy once tried the pick up line...."I have SWAN tattoed on my dick, but it grows to say SASKATCHEWAN"
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 5:37pm.
Oh Jack, you know we love ya, thumb dick or not, lol.
:D
Submitted by Brown-EyedGirl on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 5:38pm.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 5:34pm.
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Really !
*looking up Arkansas on the map*
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LOL, it's south of Missouri just east of DISAPPOINTMENT
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 5:38pm.
HAHAHAHAHAHAAA! fucker
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 5:34pm.
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Really !
*looking up Arkansas on the map*
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 5:34pm.
Submitted by Brown-EyedGirl on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 5:33pm.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 5:26pm.
I simply can.not. with teeth and gums...
The next tattoo I get is going to be on my penis... it will read
"Pascagoula, Mississippi" in 1/2" lettering (dreams)
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Is that lengthwise or twisting around and around?
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Length wise!!!
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Sorry Jack. Ya only gonna be able to fit "PASC" on it.
Submitted by annobanano on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 5:36pm.
@ Jack - Length wise!!!
Dreamer! ! !
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8-(
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
@ Jack - Length wise!!!
Dreamer! ! !
Now there are two things I don't ever want to see this woman do again. 1. Don't wear a two piece. 2. Don't open your mouth.
http://www.popsugar.com/Pictures-Keha-Wearing-Bikini-Australia-11917005?...
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 5:28pm.
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Well figures he'd have teeth in his hongray asshole!
Oh and thanks! :(
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 5:30pm.
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CLASSIC ROCK STATION?????????????
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it moved to my house!... $2.00 cover charge, but i'll supply the strobe lights... what?.. better deal than sirius!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOMTnLHDWRA
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."