Hot Slut Of The Day!

June 27, 2012 / Posted by:

Bonkers Candy from the 1980s – Bonkers was a delicious chewy fruit candy that filled your mouth with an even fruitier and gooier filling when you bit into it. Eating it was kind of like sucking off Clay  Aiken, I’m guessing. Nabisco stopped making Bonkers a while ago, but Bonkers’ Wiki page says that the company who now owns the trademark will bring it back to the world early next year. This is going to open up my own personal culinary world, because soon I won’t only get my doctor’s recommended daily intake of fruit from Starburst, Skittles, pineapple-flavored lube, Big Bucket daiquiri mix, strawberry Shasta and Juicy Fruit gum. I can get it from Bonkers too!

Even though Bonkers dropped a fruit party in your mouth, it was all about the commercials. In every commercial, an old, crotchety, slightly creepy memaw told us that most folks think Bonkers is gum, but when they bite into it a giant piece of fruit will crash on top of them, knocking the stick out of their ass. Everything is funny about a plastic strawberry fucking up your house and crushing your internal organs.

The secret ingredient in the fruit filling was totally LSD.

(For Lahoma)

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