What A Natural Kiss Between Two Heterosexuals In Love
"Hand me the foreskin sweat-flavored lip gloss. Johnny has to do this shit with FEELING!" is probably the line Kelly Preston spit at her Scientology-appointed handler in the limo minutes before she did this with John Travolta on the red carpet at the L.A. premiere of his movie Savages last night. John and Kelly tried to make the public forget about all the tales of his tingling, man-hungry Scientolohole by putting on a good-old fashioned, manufactured public display of ewwwffection show in front of the cameras. It didn't work. This is about as natural as the beaver's ass on John's head.
Just yesterday, yet another dude dropped a sexual harassment lawsuit on John Travolta's gitchi gitchi ya ya anus, so I understand why John and Kelly's publicist choreographed this stunt, but they should've rehearsed more. These pictures are where awkward goes to feel more awkward. John is trying to use his Scientology training to imagine Kelly Preston's lips as a succulent, twitchy man hole and she knows this, which is why her eye is saying "Please tell me this is almost over...." to the photographer.
Hugh Jackman and his wife Deborra-Lee Furness need to teach a class at the Learning Annex on How To Successfully Shoot Down The Gay Rumors with Some Public Beard Love, because those two know how to do it without overdoing it.
On a positive note, at least this gives Tommy Girl and the boys at the Scientology bath house something to giggle about as they do themselves in the butt with e-meter cans.
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oh christ and they color coordinated their outfits? BELCH 8-P
sucky - if i ever choke to death reading dlisted, it will be cause you made me laugh while i was eating.
grandpa butt. now i cant finish my lunch!
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Posh Beckham is one of the Seven Signs of the Apocalypse.
Every comment, MK's post (and header), just everything about this makes me LOL. You horz are cracking me up.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 12:26pm.
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Twatty, you had to mention the furry anus? hahahahah Which one? I understand these guys are smooth.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Homegirl needs better gays, better friends and better PR.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 12:22pm.
My second thought is how really pretty Kelly Preston is, and I wonder why she would continue to put herself in a 'beard' situation. I would totally say 'fuck it' at this point and move on. She doesn't need to grant any interviews or anything like that, but for God's sake girl - you have totally earned the right to have some happiness in your life. Go get laid! Fall in love with someone who will love you back.
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Agreed. Unless she is a closet lez?
Whamo -- LOL! I meant on the big screen. I don't mean the grainies that involve his puckering, furry anus. I remember seeing that shiteous movie of his where he had a May/December relationship with Lily Tomlin when I was a kid. Who knew back then that he was gay and she was a dyke? Well, aside from Hollywood insiders.
Oh, you KNOW they did it in the limo on the way there. So much heat, so much passion.
John get that ridiculous shit off your head. You look like a chia pet of yourself.
I find it sad. They are both going through the motions cuz some tard of a publicist told them "make sure you kiss on the red carpet like Tom and Katy so all the dimwits across "merica" will think you are in love.
Between her aging portrait in a closet somewhere and his secret house boy - this is one fucked up twosome who can lived with deep denial to keep celebrity alive. Very sad shit.
Awk:
#1 - MJ + Lisa Marie
#2 - Octo + any being with male sex parts
#3 -TommyGirl + Katiebot
#4 -Travy + beautiful Kelly dude?
#5 - Travy + pilot on the runway (hot)
Ha!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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So another of the harrassment suits was dropped? Looks like Johnny is back in Scientology's good graces.
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
My first thought is that these two are laying it on pretty fucking thick, given how long they've been married. If they were a new couple, all of the PDA would be more believable. So it's painfully obvious how much of a 'situation' they are attempting to deflect.
My second thought is how really pretty Kelly Preston is, and I wonder why she would continue to put herself in a 'beard' situation. I would totally say 'fuck it' at this point and move on. She doesn't need to grant any interviews or anything like that, but for God's sake girl - you have totally earned the right to have some happiness in your life. Go get laid! Fall in love with someone who will love you back.
My final thought on this is that John Travolta really needs to QUIT it with the spray on hair.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
Painful.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 12:14pm.
Does he not realize you can see the line between real hair and rug?
he doesn't realize a lot of things, Uvy.
Travolta looks like a young Sandusky and clearly, Kells and Mrs. Sandusky should hang out because those hos deny, deny deny like the day is long.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 12:14pm.
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I was just saying that Uvy :)
thumb # 5, look at the way the hair comes down to the side burns you can see the absolute colour difference between the two lol!!
Does he not realize you can see the line between real hair and rug?
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Travolta needs to realize That Hair of his is doing him no favors when it comes to his reputation, let alone his looks.
That Hair creeps too many people out. its like a mash-up between what everyone imagines a serial killer to look like,
and the alien cast from Galaxy Quest=(but not in a good way).
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm771921920/nm0715915
"I (almost) never look back, darling. It distracts from The Now." = Edna 'E' Mode
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 12:11pm.
Come to think of it, has John ever had a steamy sex scene in a movie?
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Do you consider home video movies, cause I'm pretty sure he has a few of those grainy Nanny cam things tucked away in a special box.
1) I am going to change my legal name to Gitchi Gitchi Ya Ya Anus.
2) Is that an actual toupee or does he now just use contact paper with a picture of hair on it?
Submitted by ewlulu on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 12:01pm.
Wonder how he gets it cut so short, yet it lays flat...
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ahhh...I'm pretty sure that's the way it is when he takes it out of the box:)
You aren't really suggesting that's his real hair are you?????
Come to think of it, has John ever had a steamy sex scene in a movie?
Within -- hiya, honey! <3
Sucky -- "straight macho tuna pounder" -- LMAO!!!
I was just looking at some snarling, hissing, "FUCK YOU" pictures on the rag mags last night at the store.......
Rather see that then this pure bullshit. Why can't these Horeywood actors be REAL?? oh yeah, they're actors......
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Fuckery is what fuckery does.
I never fancied this man. Ever. Just didn't get it. A bit like Kelly.
Why is he so pink these days? He's like a big ol' wigged piglet.
mmmm let's think about his pale old skin, his butt skin must be draping like curtains in an elegant scientology room, bad case of grandpa butt is what I suspect
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
They can't even ACT like they're in love.
Pepaw's expression in thumbnail 8 says it all. Like the rest of us, he's not buying what John is selling,especially given that hair situation.
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"This is what we call the floating world . . .” (Ryoi, c.1661)
" . . . the world needs to be shut down. I mean it this time. SHUT IT DOWN". (MK, c.2009)
That is some awesomely weird hair/hairline. Reminds me of the hair that my kid brothers GI Joe had long time ago.
Wonder how he gets it cut so short, yet it lays flat...
Submitted by ethang on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 11:58am.
#4.
Speaking of Kelly Preston, I forgot how hot she was back in the 80
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She's STILL quite hot, I'd put the tip of anything in
John is now using hair in a can. Kelly has her eyes open just to make sure the paps are getting this debortuous behaviour. They really have no shame. Nobody is buying this, another poorly executed publicity stunt. They certainly provide the laughs.
Submitted by ethang on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 11:58am.
Speaking of Kelly Preston, I forgot how hot she was back in the 80's.
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I know, I loved her in Space Camp as the brainy bitch with the high SAT scores!
His head rug is neatly trimmed like his crotch topiary and his puckered chinal area is smooth and waxy, like his anus. Looking at him, we know all his squinty business, KISS IT Kelly! So gross! Lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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All this talk reminded me of these Lego ROCKERS
doing SOAD (one of the best bands Eva)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rR4mTqq80I8
Whatever he is doing to make his face look like the Count from Sesame Street, he needs to stop doing IMMEDIATELY.
Ride the spiral to the end you may just go where no ones been. SPIRAL OUT
Looks like she's trying to hold in laughter in thumb #4.
Speaking of Kelly Preston, I forgot how hot she was back in the 80's. I caught Secret Admirer on cable recently and she was smokin'.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 11:55am.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 11:53am.
LOL!
Hellloo San Franssssssisccccccco
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Heelloooo FRISCOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGbS49DqgAE
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That's the one! lol!!
Can someone please explain to me why Kelly Preston would continue to stay in this marriage? Do they even have a prenup? I guess I just don't see the point to being in a relationship you know is a lie, especially when there is no dependency on the spouse financially, and what the hell, you can always own side by side mansions and stay friends. Which is probably what they are now.
Look at the closeup of his face! See the 2 needle marks??? Smells like botox to me ! And don't get me started on the leg go-man hair!@!@!
And he used to be so...........
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 11:53am.
LOL!
Hellloo San Franssssssisccccccco
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Heelloooo FRISCOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGbS49DqgAE
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 11:47am.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 11:38am.
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yes Whamo but you are laying it on a little thick with your words (aka you are closeted!!)
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LOL!
Hellloo San Franssssssisccccccco
I once saw two dogs somehow fucking asshole to asshole. This reminds me of that.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 11:46am.
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Lmao Whamo, don't elaborate. You are getting Sucky, MUY EXCITADO!!! *omg, totally different meaning* hahahaha
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 11:46am.
Careful boys...he can smell anus at 1000 yards!
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LOL, that's his Wonder Anus Dog haircut
I love that in Kelly Preston's 'personal quotes' section on the imdb it says "People have generally been very respectful and we've not been tabloid fodder."
I like thumb #15 "No John, I am not an arab in one of your saunas"
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
He looks like he's made of Play-doh.
WTF with the "hair"?
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 11:38am.
Funny you should say that Sucky, that was the first thing that came to my mind when I saw these pics. I'm like MAN is JT ever a ladies man, I'll bet Kelly has to keep her eye on him every second least he sneaks out and has lots of sex with different women. You can tell by that kiss he loves her and everything but he just cant help wanting to chase down every pussy he sees and jab it with his manly pussy pounding power cock. No doubt about it JT is a woman man through and through!!!
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yes Whamo but you are laying it on a little thick with your words (aka you are closeted!!)
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
I love the one pic suggesting he might give it to her from behind...which makes it easier while watching gay porn I would think.
Look in his eyes, to me he looks very very uncomfortable like he's say "I know you you know, that I know you know"
Careful boys...he can smell anus at 1000 yards!