Justin Theroux and Jennifer Aniston are back from publicizing their relationship all over Europe and when they landed in LAX yesterday, she had a diamond ring on her finger. No, the diamond ring wasn’t on her hitchin’ finger. Jennifer wore the promise ring from her favorite Beanie Baby on that finger. The diamond ring was on her right ring finger and it’s got Page Six asking if Justin put it there while proposing to her ass in Europe. Justin might’ve broken the old, crusty spinster curse an evil witch put on Jennifer Aniston many years ago. Does that mean Angie Jolie is going to turn back into a dragon and all her kids will turn back into cups, candlesticks and clocks? And Jennifer Aniston’s Cabbage Patch dolls will turn back into human children? I forget how the fairytale goes.
Page Six also says that Jen and Justin were in Europe to look for places to get married.
That ring don’t mean shit, because there’s no way Jen is engaged. First of all, as far as I know Maddox hasn’t turned into a cup or whatever. Second of all, if Justin did ask Jen to marry him, we’d know all about it before she screamed, “OH MY GOD YES YES LET’S DO IT NOW BEFORE YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND OH GOD GIVE ME YOUR PASSPORT YOU CAN’T LEAVE!“
As soon as Justin pulls out an engagement ring box, Jen will declare a Code: Apocalypse. A traveling midget photographer will jump out of her travel bag, editors from People will parachute in from the sky, and Jen’s publicist and a SmartWater rep will set up a backdrop for the photo-op that reads, SmartWater: It Does Miracles! So yeah, the curse lives on!