Wednesday, June 27th 2012
The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For June 26th!
"As her manager, I am sorry, but the contract rider clearly states that extras or civilians are not to look her in the eye or touch her. If you need to get a hold of her directly, please use the giant tongs provided for that purpose." - Strepsi
Runners-up:
Yet another country finds out how difficult it is to return Angie. - GingeMinge
Angie's contract with Satan includes performing magic shows at birthday parties on the back lots of Hell. - oh dave
via Splash
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"Move that crone... I'm Lindsay Lohan!"
edited for (dumbass)spelling
Saint Angie's levitation secret revealed!
There are no lengths Angelina won't go to, to keep an eye on Brad while he films a new movie.
All the reports stating that a strong wind would blow her away are clearly mistaken.
Throw it back...there's no meat on this one.
HIGHER DAMMIT, I can almost get that last shred of Aniston's self respoect!!!
It takes teamwork to insert Khloe's IUD.
To the Director's delight Angelina told the crew to just hold on tight when the basket of babies was placed out of view and she would take care of the levitating & horns herself.
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"I only keep pets I can eat"
**Siphoned_Dreamz**
Angie spared no expense when it came to frowning down upon Jennifer's engagement...
I can't find a vein anymore!! Oh wait... got one.
The hair and make-up department successfully extracts the first hair in what will a weeks-long effort to pluck Joe Jonas' unibrow.
A stick up her ass for real!
On day two on the set of Mr. & Mrs Smith, Brad Pitt's balls shot him a message about what they needed to feel less blue.
No Heaven! You can't have St. Angie until AFTER we finish the movie!
The Holy Twins create a powerful flux capacitor and use it on their mom as she attempts to adopt/abduct yet another innocent of the world.
*edited, fml
"Code Blue. Get the Ego Forceps stat!"
Submitted by Strepsi on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 6:35pm.
"As her manager, I am sorry, but the contract rider clearly states that extras or civilians are not to look her in the eye or touch her. If you need to get a hold of her directly, please use the giant tongs provided for that purpose."
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Giant tongs ! I'm crying laughing over that one.
Are they trying to deposit her into that pickup truck?
Do you seem him yet Ms. Preston? Does he have anything in his hand?
Behind the scenes of Maleficent, starring Angelina Jolie, costarring Princess Bea's toilet seat hat.
And the one sound-dish said to the other sound-dish: "How many times must we get grand-standed by horned, flying saints with heroin problems held up by blue men?! FML."
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP MCA, "no sleep til Brooklyn") *caprica six was/is here*
These are, by far, the funniest fucking comments I have yet to read on this site. St. Angie just spreads joy (and her vagina) everywhere.
Idiots , Angie said she wanted to blow two men .....not two blue men........
I knew that deuce on my windshield was no bird!
Gwyneth hires her own team of assistants affectionately dubbed the "Blue Man Goop", who work round the clock to ensure that her feet never touch the infernal ground beneath her.
What did you think he meant when Tobias said Angelina Jolie blew him?
After eating one too many blueberries Angie finally craps out two giant nuggets allowing her to lose the necessary weight to take flight and fly home to her brood.
Y'all don't have ta hide yo children and husbands any longer.
Octomom's contract clearly states she is to do her own cunt, not stunt.
After learning that she had smurfed practically every smurf in the village, the other smurfs will barely smurf Smurfette with a 40 foot pole.
Exactly who do we all need to blow to turn this scene into a real life lacrosse match?
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
She's climbing in your window. She's snatching all your children up...
Yet another country finds out how difficult it is to return Angie.
"As her manager, I am sorry, but the contract rider clearly states that extras or civilians are not to look her in the eye or touch her. If you need to get a hold of her directly, please use the giant tongs provided for that purpose."
The Blue Man Group debuts their latest weird-and-whacky musical instrument, previously played by only Jonny Lee Miller, Billy Bob Thornton, and Brad Pitt. Oh, and its brother.
The Blue Man Group helps the Wicked Witch of Montenegro troll for dates: "Are there any married men down there? Which one of my devoted followers is ready to make the ultimate sacrifice?"
Brad's blue balls are very upset about all the adoption taking place in the Pitt/Jolie household.
Octomom prepares for a Guiness World Record sybian ride.
I think I just blue Angelina Jolie!
In-Vitro maliefestation..
Cue the Hocus Pocus soundtrack and hide the local orphans: "Come little children, I'll take thee away."
Angelina stars as a superhuman audio technician in Lara Croft: Boom Raider.
Wow, pigs really do fly.
Don't let the cameras fool you, St. Angie isn't filming another movie; this is nothing but an elaborate veil over one of her satanic Illuminati rituals.
Just fucking fling her into space!
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I don't like you, but if I did I'd tell you that hair was a mistake
Quick! DROP HER!
I have to laugh to keep from crying.
Tobias Fünke finally gets his wish.
MUST. FIND. MORE. CHILDREN.
The lengths she will go to in order to bait Johnny Depp is unprecedented.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
On the set of "Maleficent," super agent Kevin Huvane sees that Angelina Jolie gets Canistanned.
Once again Angie's ego wranglers have trouble maintaining control.