Anthony Davis Is Trademarking His Glorious Unibrow
Former Hot Slut of the Day and college basketball star Anthony Davis has an immaculate single brow of gorgeousness and if he tried to protect his natural work of hairy art by covering it with tweezer-proof glass, I wouldn't call him unreasonable. But Anthony is taking shit way too far and thinks he's the only ho who has ever grown a unibrow (insert your bertsideye.jpeg here). CNBC says that Anthony will most likely get picked up by the New Orleans Hornets in the NBA Draft this Thursday and since he's about to go pro, he's protecting his greatest asset: the wings of glory over his eyes. Anthony registered the likeness of his brow hair and is trademarking the phrases "Fear The Brow" and "Raise The Brow." It is way too late for this kind of fuckery. And if you're reading this in the morning, then let me just say that it's way too early for this kind of fuckery.
Anthony's unibrow is as important to this country as Mary Hart's legs and he thinks it's one of a kind:
“I don’t want anyone to try to grow a unibrow because of me and then try to make money off of it. Me and my family decided to trademark it because it’s very unique.”
Anthony Davis' unibrow looks like a powerful bird gliding into the sunset, but he needs to step out of the world where he thinks he's the only one with two brows in one. The world is full of unibrows and even Khloe Kardashian can grow one in a day if she doesn't wax that shit every other hour.
Anthony better watch it with that "I am the creator of the unibrow" shit. Because if he doesn't, the ghost of Frida Kahlo will float into his room while he sleeps, slather Nair on his masterpiece unibrow and softly cackle as she disappears into the air. Fear the Frida.
(Thanks to everybody who sent this in)
• 
Overplucked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he needs to cease pluckin his eyebrows like a lady's and do somethin more masculine. A more natural shap.
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What a stupid fuck, kill me please.
I can't believe what a huge ass he is and he isn't even pro yet.
oh gawd he hasn't even been drafted yet and he's already acting like an asshole?!?
seems like he has a future with the Miami Heat after his lottery team stint
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
how can you trademark a unibrow? i mean if i didnt get mine waxed im sure i would have a unibrow some day too... thats like trademarking long nails. sorry i do not want anyone letting their nails grow longer than the tips of their fingers. if you do, you owe me $100.
Good luck to the Hornets putting up with this pinhead diva.
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"Freeway? What the hell's a freeway?"
"Eight lanes of shimmering cement running from here to Pasadena. Smooth, safe, fast. Traffic jams will be a thing of the past."
This dude still looks prettier than Willow Smith.
Well, being one to give credit where credit is due, I'd like to give a nod to the matching dirty sanchez he appears to be sporting in that pic.
*excuses self to go manicure girly hairs down there into "powerful bird gliding into sunset".
~*~Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey! Hello, my ragtime gal....~*~
“I don’t want anyone to try to grow a unibrow because of me and then try to make money off of it."
Wow, I was unaware that unibrows were profitable. So sad I am unable to grow one. I must toil in poverty forever now...
This fucking douche is a little too full of himself. He and his family sound like they all need to repeat the 5th grade.
This whack job is so pompous and ignorant. Apparently, this guy hasn't seen any Austin Powers movies. Frida's unibrow would kick his unibrow's ass anyday. And, clearly, he's never met any Italians, Greeks, Arabs, Latin Americans, etc. if he thinks his is the only unibrow. My uncle had the most glorious unibrow I've ever seen: thick, full, luxurious. He could've giving Frida a run for her unibrow. But this guy needs to STFU and STFD.
I get my shit threaded almost weekly to keep mine in line. And I take tweezers to my man's whenever he forgets to do so. Even his two year old has the beginnings of one. Yay for Italian genes!
PS- your cholo stache is disgusting.
Submitted by cocoebert on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 1:40am.
Bitch better not visit my native Turkey because he'll have to sue all those hoes.
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LOL!
With all his millions, the idiot cant afford fixing his goddamm teeth? Anyway, he looks like he's the product of an incest...
He looks like a mean Cuban woman.
It's a shame that Jennifer Lopez didn't trademark her ass. That would have saved us from the Kuntrashians.
"Me and my family..........."
ME???????? WTF, didn't attend classes?
“I don’t want anyone to try to grow a unibrow because of me and then try to make money off of it. Me and my family decided to trademark it because it’s very unique.”
Never heard of this asshole, but it's clear he won't be qualifying as an intellectual property lawyer in this lifetime.
------
word!
"try to grow a unibrow"?
No one in the history of humanity has TRIED to grow a unibrow. I guess no one told this fucker that a unibrow is as attractive as a harelip to most people.
By the way I'm trademarking "Fear the Male Pattern Baldness" so y'all bitches better fuck off.
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
Youneek. This man disagrees.
http://howrudoing.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/unibrow.png
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
James Smith
Wow.. there are patenting unibrows now? haha...
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What do you expect? the guy's a lowbrow.
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Amnesty International
Shine a Light
As an actual IP attorney (yup, Dlisted is a place for all kinds to snark) I can tell you this fucker has, at best APPLIED, for the TM and he will be DENIED. In addition, in order to have a mark you have to offer goods or services with that mark. Fucker has neither. Hey Anthony, I don't go running around telling people how to play basketball, how bout you leave the legal explanations to your attorney instead of repeating erroneous shit your cousin and his friends told you.
He arches the brow and shapes them, yet he does nothing with the hairs above the nose. So strange.
..............................
Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
Gross.
Better check yaself before you wreck yaself son. Madonna's gonna come claw off that uni. Lourdes Leon does it much much better.
Too late. I've already trademarked the expression "Gee Your Fucking Brow Looks Stupid." So pay up.
* * * * * * * * * * *
"Freeway? What the hell's a freeway?"
"Eight lanes of shimmering cement running from here to Pasadena. Smooth, safe, fast. Traffic jams will be a thing of the past."
Bitch better not visit my native Turkey because he'll have to sue all those hoes.
Oh dear lord...
Submitted by how dare you on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 12:07am.
What about that gladiator-helmet hairline, Anthony? You up to taking on Selma Blair, Anna Kendrick, and one of those Real Housewives over that shit?
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Lol, look at you throwin em out there How Dare Yo! I think you'll have lots of fun here:)
It's always nice having new snarkers here:P
Unique??? That kid has obviously never stepped foot in a Greek restaurant.
Calm down, Anthony or whoever you are. All this means is that you forgot to shave the 'gina on your forehead.
Submitted by Miss Malevolent on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 12:49am.
He is hideous...the ridiculous thing is, if he becomes a star NBA player, he'll have desperate skanks throwing themselves at him giving him the impression that he's a catch.
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Kris Jenner probably already has him followed on Twitter. AND IRL.
Submitted by Stoney on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 11:52pm.
What's crazy is that the non-uni parts of the brows look so well manicured...
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Hahaha!! Didn't notice that till now. He spends a lot of time on that brow.
He is hideous...the ridiculous thing is, if he becomes a star NBA player, he'll have desperate skanks throwing themselves at him giving him the impression that he's a catch.
Ugh, I can see him keeping his kids from tweezing just to further brand the image. I would not bump uglies with him if it meant that I would potentially pass those genes along.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
http://chakrakahn.tumblr.com/
wait. wut?
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
This Anthony Davis here might THINK he created this brow sitch, but I in fact KNOW it was MK who dared to broach the whole eyebrow scene, and has since written the definitive bible on brows....and owns it, bitch.
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
Ooh! Lilo should trademark her gum freckles!
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.
*trademarks arms cuz I've got 2 of 'em and I iz unique*
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.
Oh please Sir , get a hobby , may I suggest stamp collecting ?
( Who the fuck is this dude ,anyway ?! )
" Oh my heavens , my photo has vanished ! "
What about that gladiator-helmet hairline, Anthony? You up to taking on Selma Blair, Anna Kendrick, and one of those Real Housewives over that shit?
Maybe he thinks since in this day and age everyone grooms themselves even the guy that bites his nails instead of cutting get his eyebrow trimmed, that no one has a unibrow naturally?
Bert does it better.
Bert does it better.
What's crazy is that the non-uni parts of the brows look so well manicured...
__________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
“I don’t want anyone to try to grow a unibrow because of me and then try to make money off of it. Me and my family decided to trademark it because it’s very unique.”
Never heard of this asshole, but it's clear he won't be qualifying as an intellectual property lawyer in this lifetime.
Pride of Memphis! lol
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."