Open Post: Hosted By Another Florida Gem
It took me a few blinks to realize that's dried blood on crazy's face and it's not from a salad tossing gone terribly, terribly wrong.
This beautiful mug shot portrait that looks like it's straight from the Faces of Bath Salts Hall of Fame was taken after 29-year-old (yes, 29 in human years and not Courtney Stodden years) Kelsey Smith was arrested in Deltona, FL for DUI. Kelsey resisted arrest, banged his face against the roof of the police car and spit blood at the officers before his ass was tamed twice with a taser gun. Proving that you can't keep a drunk crazy down for long even if you electrify his anus lips twice, Kelsey refused to sit still for his glamour shot and had to be held down by gloved officers.
Florida needs to tell us what kind of drugs this tweaked bear was on, because those are the drugs to stay away from. I'm saying that, because I don't want to snort a drug that somehow leads my tongue to looking like one of Khloe Kardashian's wax strips. At least, I think that's fur on his tongue... But then again, I could've been right this first time when I thought this was a salad tossing gone wrong. I don't want to know. I know too much already.
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@ M.E.
"One way to make him aggressive is to TAZE HIM!"
FIRST thought that came to my mind. Second one was "she knows that tasers are made for use vs adult human beings and she can KILL her dog using it, right?"
then came "why the hell doesn't she learn how to train the dog properly there are classes everywhere and stuff all over tv and the internet," "why didn't the ranger detain the dog and call animal control," etc etc
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Foxxy - she said that they'd only had him a year, he's a rescue and she said he was being aggressive.
Um, no bitch, he saw another dog and wanted to go play. A wagging tail and excited/happy barking is not aggressive.
One way to make him aggressive is to TAZE HIM!
I think I found my next boyfriend!
(starts looking for tickets on expedia)
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Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
http://lif3d3sign.tumblr.com/
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 5:53pm
what excuse could she possibly come up with for doing that?!?
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Mike - NO SHIT! She later tried to explain to my why she did it and I was like "Bitch, leave"
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 5:45pm.
Christ!!!! - the owners should be tazed.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROSS!!!!!!
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 5:45pm.
Michael Lohan should have been there to punch her (the owner) in the vagina.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 5:45pm.
Michael Lohan should have been there to punch her (the owner) in the vagina.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 5:40pm
she waxes her FOREHEAD?!?!
i mean, i've never even seen "forehead" on the waxing price list at a salon.
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Ew.
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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012
Do I see the face of Jesus on his tongue???
Will the real Dimitri Malaka of Elegant Olga fame please stand up...
OOOOOOOHHH! So this couple that was camping in the space next to us, had this beautiful blue nosed pitty. He was VERY sweet. Anyway, the people next to them had a pug and the pitty was choking himself on the leash to try and get over and play with the pug. The owner of the pitty tazed the dog. TAZED the dog.
OMFG. Unfucking believeable. The rangers issued her a citation and fined her.
What. An asshole. (bitch tazer)
*slaps the shit out of Florida* Get ahold of yourself!!!
Hair pubes - EWWWWWWWWWW
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 5:40pm.
Why does everyone say Khloe is the hairiest Kardashian? If you ask me, Kim looks like she'd be the hairiest. She's the one who waxes her forehead, for godssake.
Does anyone want to talk about "True Blood"? And the all too brief Meloni sex scene with a skanky, ugly, Russian-type whore?
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I fell asleep before it came on. BTW my brother likes your user name.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
He's got Lohan pupils.
Why does everyone say Khloe is the hairiest Kardashian? If you ask me, Kim looks like she'd be the hairiest. She's the one who waxes her forehead, for godssake.
Does anyone want to talk about "True Blood"? And the all too brief Meloni sex scene with a skanky, ugly, Russian-type whore?
"Hey, I just met you, but I'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty."
Hair tonhue? Mmmmmmm gimme some sugar
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
So...we survived camping this weekend. The boys had a GREAT time, we collected a TON of sand dollars and other shells. Imma make a garden stone with them.
Planning another camping trip here soon. This time to Big Sur.
The tongue is from that fake weed shit (spice/ K2 / whatever), like heavvvvvy smoking. Won't touch the poison myself, but I'd lay money on it. Though I wouldn't be surprised if bathsalts were involved, too.
What a charming specimen of manhood.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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ME, all I can say is that there must be sumfin' in the water!
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 5:31pm.
Why is it always Florida?
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Or Germany.
GG - seriously. WTF?
It's called Hair Tongue. Google it. Disgusting!! Dr. Oz had a show on it. All I have to say to my niece and nephew now when they don't want to brush their teeth?? Go brush your teeth Hair Tongue!! They RUN to the bathroom to brush!! Dr. Oz actually done some good!!!
I somehow think Jack's mugshot was very similar to this.
I say we just saw off Florida and let them drift away!
Why is it always Florida?
Didn't that bish say she wasn't pregnant??? Asshole.
oh dear lawd, my eyes cannot un-see this now!!
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Submitted by Mayo on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 5:28pm.
Hello! Did you guys saw the pics of a very pregnant Megan fox at hawaii? Her belly looks kind of weird...
http://oi49.tinypic.com/29cvtdg.jpg
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I wouldn't say VERY pregnant, but pregnant indeed.
Her belly looks completely normal for 4-5 months along.
A possible explanation for the tongue - I think it's just poor hygiene:
"Black Hairy Tongue
"The papillae on the tongue regularly grow and shed as part of a normal body process. Black hairy tongue is a condition that occurs when the papillae grow, but they do not shed. The long papillae give the tongue a hairy look.
"Bacteria and particles from the air can collect on these long papillae, which causes a dark brown or black color on the tongue. In addition to tongue discoloration, other symptoms of black hairy tongue include a metallic taste in the mouth, bad breath and gagging.
"MayoClinic.com notes that possible causes of black hairy tongue include antibiotics, poor oral hygiene, medications, chronic breathing through the mouth, some mouthwashes and tobacco use. Black hairy tongue usually goes away without any medical intervention."
http://www.livestrong.com/article/263401-causes-of-tongue-discoloration/
Hello! Did you guys saw the pics of a very pregnant Megan fox at hawaii? Her belly looks kind of weird...
http://oi49.tinypic.com/29cvtdg.jpg
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"If I can't be my own, i'd feel better dead"- Nutshell
As my Grandma would say: "Hard to imagine that was someone's precious baby once."
The pupils say MDMA to me.
I have no idea about the tongue, but that is fucking gross.
This pic was much easier to look at on my phone. When it was small and you could not see details.
Remember that chick Nicole Alvarez from the Dr. Murray trial? Her body was her instrument...ahahahaha. Inside Edition just had a little clip of her going on & on about Conrad being a mentor to the inmates...teaching them vocabulary & reading a lot. Said he was very popular. *snickers*
Why,MK... WHYYYYY?? I was just going to eat a handful of delicious animal crackers. Oh well, at least the dogs were happy with their treat.
I was hungry...Now I'm not.
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I want you to get on them fat chubby knees and take muh manhood in to your sugarwalls!-Early Cuyler -Squidbillies-
I'd say meth, but his teeth are too good.
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I'm a heretic. Feel free to drive me from your midst.
Oh Florida...is it the heat or the oranges?
What the fuck is wrong with his tongue????? I'm in hell
The brown tongue. *shudders*
I repeat - Nuke Florida now!
Nice tongue, has he been giving rimjobs outside of Taco Bell? And did he have change of a 1?
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
HAI MIKE!
Yes, saw this dude on Friday.
I saw this the other day. Best mugshot ever. LMAO!