Open Post: Hosted By Another Florida Gem
It took me a few blinks to realize that's dried blood on crazy's face and it's not from a salad tossing gone terribly, terribly wrong.
This beautiful mug shot portrait that looks like it's straight from the Faces of Bath Salts Hall of Fame was taken after 29-year-old (yes, 29 in human years and not Courtney Stodden years) Kelsey Smith was arrested in Deltona, FL for DUI. Kelsey resisted arrest, banged his face against the roof of the police car and spit blood at the officers before his ass was tamed twice with a taser gun. Proving that you can't keep a drunk crazy down for long even if you electrify his anus lips twice, Kelsey refused to sit still for his glamour shot and had to be held down by gloved officers.
Florida needs to tell us what kind of drugs this tweaked bear was on, because those are the drugs to stay away from. I'm saying that, because I don't want to snort a drug that somehow leads my tongue to looking like one of Khloe Kardashian's wax strips. At least, I think that's fur on his tongue... But then again, I could've been right this first time when I thought this was a salad tossing gone wrong. I don't want to know. I know too much already.
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Within -- I know, and I love that Michael keeps us swimming in dudes most of the time. And most of the chicks he throws out there are the types we make fun of! That faerie shit on TB really blew, it was so boring. I think Paquin got on because of her Oscar win, it certainly wasn't because of her ugly looks. "Six Feet Under" was excellent, too.
Kris10 -- OMG, were you on the Hoda post yesterday? Some of us were talking about how we thought Matt Lauer was a sexy piece, myself included. Dog insists he's boring, he washes his dick afterward and won't cuddle. I agree that he takes a shower afterward and won't cuddle, but I bet he's pervy in bed and talks way dirty. Joe Manjello is a beautiful piece, but he seems so boring, kind of dead in the eyes, but definitely a gorgeous specimen. Supposedly he cheats a lot on his ice queen of a wife. Bummer that he was on vacation that week. I was in NYC and walked past the taping of a Today show outside, but the boyfriend wanted nothing to do with getting near the crowd.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 7:57pm.
Kris10 -- ...Sorry, Kris, I don't know if you're a guy or a chick; I keep fawning over various dudes from the shows.
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Twatty, you crack me up! hehehe MK, knows how to dangle the dudes in front of everyone. He tosses in the occasional Spaz, Jenny just to keep the guys' mouths watering, then he goes back to the real goods! LOL
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Lol! I'm a chick!
I have been a long time reader and lurker...I have barely posted here but think you all are hilarious!
And..as far as True Blood goes..Alcide does it for me and I have been all over the Today Show stories because Matt's glib ass can talk dirty to me all night! The things I would do to that man!
I was in NYC in April and he had the nerve to be on "vacation" that week.
Twatty, I remember thinking the same thing. The very first episodes had a taste of dread to them. Then they started in on the other stories... I definitely didn't like all that faerie stuff. I don't know if that was in the original story.
Overall, I liked Six Feet Under more, I think. Although there are several characters I enjoy here too! Still don't understand the casting of Paquin, Moyer or Tara...
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Kris10 -- I don't know who dug up Russell, but Russell will certainly kick some ass once he's healed up. He's certainly another character they have to keep around; he's a lot of fun! And on "The Walking Dead," I love when they run into a bunch of walkers, they scare the hell out of me. Plus the guy who plays Rick is awfully cute. Lori, his wife, is beyond annoying and should be killed off. She's a terrible wife & mother. Sorry, Kris, I don't know if you're a guy or a chick; I keep fawning over various dudes from the shows.
Yeah, but I thought she would at least recognize the smell....oh well.
For some reason I think Salome dug up Russell.
Oh and The Walking Dead keeps me up at night!
I'm only here to judge ...
(kiss this)--------------------------->>> (_!_)
Kris10 -- but remember, Sookeh has the super snatch fairy pussy, and because she was the love of Jessica's maker, Bill, that's why she won't go crazy on her ugly ass.
Within -- yes, lots of shower scenes with Meloni, either alone or at least with a woman who's at least halfway decent-looking, not like that ugly Salome chick.
What I think is missing from "True Blood" is true scariness. Maybe that's not its intent, I don't know, but I truly want to be horrified, the way I sometimes am by "The Walking Dead." I'm a true horror fan. Then again, I've never read the books the show is based on, nor do I know what direction Alan Ball wants to take the show in.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 7:35pm.
Did you HAVE to go there Dog??? *hurls*
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Mais bien sur!
Don't blow my high, hoor, I was first runner up in the CT from Friday. That like never happens.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Did you HAVE to go there Dog??? *hurls*
Submitted by tomahawk on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 7:27pm.
Submitted by Dog on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 7:21pm.
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Actually my nails are short because a) I can type much better with them being short, b) long fingernails are SO 90's, c) They're ugly d) they could split while having at least decent sex and then: e) a lot of crap could hide under there and nailpolish is b) and c).
^^^^^^^^^^^^
You work for a living. Those skanks just make sex tapes and let people piss on them. You earned your short split nails.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 7:21pm.
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I love your little super dog avie:)
Completely agree with you twat...this is what I keep asking myself.
So Jessica is shopping and smells that guy who is obviously a fairy. Why doesn't she smell ugly ass Sookeh?!
Twatty, Yes, I'd leave all the annoying characters out and rejig that plot a little. A lot more shower scenes, I think. ღღ
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Dog on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 7:21pm.
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Actually my nails are short because a) I can type much better with them being short, b) long fingernails are SO 90's, c) They're ugly d) they could split while having at least decent sex and then: e) a lot of crap could hide under there and nailpolish is b) and c).
Look how dialated his eyes are. He's definately on something.
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"off brand work out sneakers"?
Ninja if I want to wear Spalding’s, ProWings, and Bobos to the gym, that's my damn business.
Bitch, I'm working out... Not doing daily cunt-nastics via Twitter.”
Kris10 -- yeah, what was up with Jason and the woe is me shit? That came from out of left field? Roman is the hottest thing on the planet, but by the time he got to Salome he was operating on sloppy thirds. And Within, I'd say keep Roman, Pam, Eric, Jessica, Lafayette and get rid of the rest of them. Sookeh would be the first on the chopping block -- I hate that bitch. I liked that chick who was outfitting Bill & Eric with the stakes on the heart and telling them about the app; she was cute & funny. Alcide is good-looking but Joe Manjello is such a horrible actor and dead in the eyes. I like Jessica, too, though what she sees in Jason is beyond me. And that part about Alcide's former girlfriend's parents looking for her was a time killer & boring.
I finally figured out why creatures like the Kuntrashians, Paris Hilton, BloHan, etc. don't have long nails. I could never figure that out until I realized how much grossness can hide under there. So I'm thinking all of the cum, scat, and dingleberries these road turds play with, keeping their nails short makes things easier.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Twatty, what if they got rid of the entire story line involving the diner in True Blood. That'd work wouldn't it? Just keep Jesus, Lafayette, Alcide, Pam, Eric, Meloni and a few others! lolol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Yes! I am so sick of Tara and her stupid grunting! Either way she's miserable!
Whats up with Jason and his "woe is me" bullshit? Did I miss something? I loved the flashback eith Eric And Pam but was a little dissapointed as to how she was turned
And I agree roman is hot! And Salome is nothing more than a slut!
that is some serious sun baked crazy shit coming out of Florida, I was insane and partied like there was no freaking tomorrow when I lived there, I believe it is the overwhelming humidity, plus bars open all night, plus a ton of fucking sun, plus being near Cuba and plus all the massive amounts of drugs that always make it down there in abundance, plus the fact that the cops probably are lenient cause they are too damn proud of the Heat so there you go.....if you plan on going insane the one place to go is Flahrida!!
Sweeeet Geeeezuz, what is in the water in Florida? I know all states have whack jobs it just seems Florida has a real ssspeshul brand of em!
Submitted by M.E.: "Planning another camping trip here soon. This time to Big Sur."
*swoon* That sounds awesome.
They had to hold him still for his mug shot? Never saw that before, HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!
Seriously, though, I find it alarming that these people don't even react to shit like being tased.
Kris10 -- "True Blood" was pretty good, but I'm already getting tired of the Tara as vampire shit. She's always bored me, but as a vampire she's even more annoying. And any storyline involving Jason bores me to death -- he's so stupid. But Meloni is hot, hot, hot!!! But whoever that skanky, ugly chick he's boning is has got to go. Also, any story involving Alcide & Sam Merlotte is boring, too. I love Pam, though -- she's the funniest, and now we're finding out her storyline is quite heart-breaking.
I love you Florida! _______________________________________________
What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?
Trueblood was pretty good last night....,,
Suit up, horz! Ten minutes 'til Wapn...I mean LOCHTE! *rocks back and forth on couch*
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
LOL...okay, okay, I know Florida is CRAZY...it is MY home state. I cannot help but have a fondness for it. Now, this guy is totally nutso. He can go back to the pit he crawled out of. Uggh. That tongue is just vile.
Why can't people just smoke weed and chill the f*ck out...?
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
It's so cold in the D....
Florida...Get a f*kken grip...
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
It's so cold in the D....
This is some scary shite. Can we just sell Florida, at wholesale, to some country that needs crazies by the crate? Syria? Bosnia? Who wants Florida cheap?
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
i know, M.E., and thanks for the advice. i'm trying to force myself to think of it as a long term investment and not be a cheap ass about it ;-)
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
thanks, Mrs. Meloni!!
i should be able to get a set of that caliber if i work hard at price comparison and see who will beat competitors' oricing. a lot seems to be avail in store and on line at 60-80% off, with free delivery.
so ... anyone who needs a mattress set or bed rails or whatever, this weekend might be the sale to hit!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Foxxy - we bought a tempurpedic last year. LOVE IT! It's my marshmallow bed!! So damn comfortable.
But you don't want foam. I'd say spend the $$$ and get a sleep number.
That is my next bed.
I'm beginning to think MK has a bit of a thing for FL! Like an unhealthy fascination... hahaha
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Foxxy -- I have my mom's old mattress that I bought her; she used it only a bit before she passed. It's a firm pillow top, Sealy Posturepedic. I spent about $1,000 on sale. Supposedly top of the line. Personally, I like soft mattresses, but it is a good one. If I had the money to get a new one, I'd get a Sleep Number. A friend has a Tempurpedic and loves it, but that's foam. Both of those are pricey, though. Good luck; I hope you get a great deal.
Kelsey resisted arrest, banged his face against the roof of the police car and spit blood at the officers before his ass was tamed twice with a taser gun. Proving that you can't keep a drunk crazy down for long even if you electrify his anus lips twice, Kelsey refused to sit still for his glamour shot and had to be held down by gloved officers.
If he was black he'd have been shot 200 times...
Looks like Lindsay donated her old teef to this guy. *gags*
(BTW, I got the gooney goo goo reference) :-)
@M.E.'s story:
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 5:45pm.
Is there any way that some animal welfare society can do a check or re-rescue? It's not really a "rescue" if you end up going to live in a campground and get fucking tazed. That's just fucking inhumane!
Oh MK, why? I can't look at foolery like this, it frightens me. *clutches crucifix*
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
:-D :-D
on a diff note, i'm about to throw myself into the 4th of July mattress sale fray. any recent purchases anyone wants to brag about? any advice re: which brands or stores to avoid? i'm inclined toward euro pillowtop, firm; def do not want all foam.
tia
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
M.E. -- sounds like my girlfriend's alcoholic, abusive, impotent, non-working boyfriend who leaves the apartment each morning to spend time at the beach each day, only to return at night completely drunk. What is wrong with these drunken fools?
I didn't get what Megan Fox saw in Brian Austin Green. I mean, she's young and hot and he's DAVID FUCKING SILVER but then I heard he has a huge wang. So I though, "ahhh dickmatized." Then I saw him at a horror convention last year and he's pretty good looking in person. A little short, but most actors are.
so meh, good for her.
Foxxy - no kids, thank god. But the dogs name was Trigger.
BAHAHAHWWAHAH!
M.E.,
hmmm, dumb and drunk by 10 am. they didn't happen to have kids named Trig and Track with them, did they?
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 6:08pm.
"but when you have to wax your forehead, that's some Sasquatch-type shit going on."
"goonie goo goo!" ;-D
/ancient Eddie Murphy joke (for those of you who think 35 is old)
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Foxxy - bitch is an idiot. Turns out they're LIVING at the campground. Of course, they were drunk by 10am everyday.
actually, Matthew Fox's glamour mug shot in the thumbnail at the bottom of the post is just one hair tongue away from this guy's
/hey, when you nuke Fl could you please avoid the St. Pete beaches where i vacation? k thx bye bye
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Foxxy -- yep, she waxes her fucking forehead, can you believe that shit? How fucking hairy do you have to be to do that? And hey, I'm sensitive to hair removal, I'd give my right leg to have laser hair removal for my whole body, but when you have to wax your forehead, that's some Sasquatch-type shit going on.
QueenieBK -- your brother is obviously a man of rarefied tastes, LOL!
Don't want know what this guy was on either... but that tongue looks beat, it should be allowed to retire, the poor thing!
"Khloe Kardashian's wax strips" - MK, so disgusting you are! olol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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