It took me a few blinks to realize that’s dried blood on crazy’s face and it’s not from a salad tossing gone terribly, terribly wrong.
This beautiful mug shot portrait that looks like it’s straight from the Faces of Bath Salts Hall of Fame was taken after 29-year-old (yes, 29 in human years and not Courtney Stodden years) Kelsey Smith was arrested in Deltona, FL for DUI. Kelsey resisted arrest, banged his face against the roof of the police car and spit blood at the officers before his ass was tamed twice with a taser gun. Proving that you can’t keep a drunk crazy down for long even if you electrify his anus lips twice, Kelsey refused to sit still for his glamour shot and had to be held down by gloved officers.
Florida needs to tell us what kind of drugs this tweaked bear was on, because those are the drugs to stay away from. I’m saying that, because I don’t want to snort a drug that somehow leads my tongue to looking like one of Khloe Kardashian’s wax strips. At least, I think that’s fur on his tongue… But then again, I could’ve been right this first time when I thought this was a salad tossing gone wrong. I don’t want to know. I know too much already.