This Is Exactly What Lea Michele's Walk Down The Aisle Is Going To Look Like
Running out on your bride when she's standing right in front of you at your wedding is not okay.....unless she's covering your face with a veil of her spit while singing out Xtina's "The Right Man." If you don't want permanent skin creases around your mouth area, hold the bottom part of your face, because your natural instinct will be to cringe through this entire awkward mess of a video. I cringed for everyone involved. I cringed for that crazy bride, who's obviously a theater major, for thinking that Glee is real life. I cringed for that hot lady in the green, because she had to resist the urge to stop that crazy bride's singing by pulling that trick's train real hard. I'm cringing for everyone in the pews for having to control themselves from barfing up huge chunks of laughs. I'm cringing for that dude with the Oakley sunglasses on his head for not knowing that it's never okay to wear Oakley sunglasses on your head indoors (that was more of a cringing side note). And I'm especially cringing for the groom who has to take a face full of his future wife's belting while wishing that he'll suddenly come down with a severe case of explosive diarrhea so he has a reason to run out of there. But your bride making all sorts of constipation faces while singing a song in the aisle IS a good reason to quit that bitch.
What a high school talent show MESS. That groom looks like he wants to fall backwards into a coffin and die, but he's afraid what she'll sing at his memorial.
I wonder which Xtina song she sang after the ceremony when her new husband said he had to get something from the car AND NEVER FUCKING CAME BACK. I'm guessing she went with "Walk Away" or "Beautiful."
And deep down, I really hope this is viral marketing for Oakley.
via CNN (Thanks to everybody who sent this in)
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Submitted by Luxious on Wed, 06/27/2012 - 2:19am.
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I had to log in just to comment on this, Im laughing my ass off that was so funny especially the slapping part!!!
Fucking hideous.
And he knew just where to be and when, so how many rehearsals had he been subjected to? How many times had he been slapped when he tried to take a step on the wrong beat or reach for her non-microphone paw at the wrong moment? Poor bastard. Poor STUPID bastard.
Love how she has zero people on her side of the church. Who would want to admit to birthing out or being related to this steaming pile of embarrassment?
I couldn't even laugh at her. I was cringing so hard I had to pry my eyelids open in a pathetic attempt to try to watch the rest.
This is just embarassing
This can't be for real. This has to be some stunt to get this chick a singing contract or a reality show or something. If it is real, oh lordy...ATTENTION WHORE!
You D-listed mofos are on FIYAH with these comments. I' ve really been laughing it up.
First of all, that video was unadulterated hilarity. No one should feel embarrassed for this chick; these are exactly the type of self-involved a-holes that deserve your scorn and mockery.
But then the comments: The mental image of her singing "Dirtay" at her wedding is funny, and the image of her singing "Bye Bye Bye" at the divorce proceedings is hysterical (I'm picturing her performing it complete with the choreography and bye-bye hand motions and all that).
And the chick's vocal skillz were a tad questionable. The big notes at the end there were flat as pancakes. And someone on here said she had a pretty voice! So now we know who buys the output of all the Britneys/J.Los/Miley Cyruses of the world.
OMG.....I just realized something.
There is literally NO ONE on her side of the aisle. DIS BITCH has no friends.
The song is not meant to walk down the aisle to. It is Christina Aguilera's thoughts about not having a father to give her away on her wedding day. Granted, the song ends happily as she thinks she has found the "Right Man" for her and her hypothetical children.
But you don't sing at your wedding, you dumb bitch. You pay people to do crap like that for you.
That was fucking awkward as hell to watch... bitch wouldn't get no fridge for that lame ass performance.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by StillaVllyGrl on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 1:58pm.
I hate watching people sing, especially when they try to be all emotional about it.
That was so awkward to watch. And, I agree, total attention whore. Something tells me she is a bit high maintenance.
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Exactly.
I hate watching people sing, especially when they try to be all emotional about it.
That was so awkward to watch. And, I agree, total attention whore. Something tells me she is a bit high maintenance.
I would have walked out. Attention whore. Is there an episode of Bridzilla's starring her? I can't with the over dramatic weddings. It's like child birth. You're not the first person ever to get married. UGH.
GET OFF MAH LAWN!
I think the fact that hardly anyone was there, and those who were did not appear delighted with her performance, is a sign that the groom was the only person in the room clueless as to what he was marrying. This video should be all he needs for an annulment.
Bitch, how much attention do you need?
AWKWARD!
Barf!
If truth is beauty, then we are all hideous monsters.
Absolute WORST part:
The poor groom REACHING FOR HER HAND(S) as she's belting this thing out 10 inches from his face -
AND she is TOO caught up in HER SINGING to see that her husband-to-be is literally reaching for her hand.
*sigh*
I hope that poor bastard knows what he's getting himself into.
Mazel Tov, dude.
Naw..... don't wanna go there today.
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Fuckery is what fuckery does.
I have to say, her voice is pretty..American Idol fashion. Would have gone to Hollywood with that performance.
To sing at your wedding..."Nah Dawg"
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Ugh. I couldn't even watch. I feel enough embarrassment day-to-day without feeling it for others too.
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
I can't wait to see how she gives birth!
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
When I was planning my wedding, I couldn't stand to be around other brides. All they ever wanted to talk about was their stupid wedding, as if nothing else existed in their life.
What really drove me insane were all these people telling me, "It's your day!" No, it was a day I shared with my husband, our families, and our friends. This dumbass in the video is not singing to express her love for her husband. it's all about her and getting attention.
Any wedding I've ever been to, the congregation of guests stands up when the bride first appears to begin her walk down the aisle. Not one person stood up when she first appeared in the doorway, or when she first started to walk. Maybe everyone was told ahead of time that she was going to "perform" and not to stand up, but the whole thing seemed really awkward and contrived to me. But hey, if it made the couple happy, & this is what they wanted for their wedding day, then so what?
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Submitted by BitchyD on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 10:01am.
This, pretty much.
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I'm a heretic. Feel free to drive me from your midst.
This couple disturbs me. Even more disturbing is the dude's FB account, showing her super knocked up and them with matching hair! It's like those couples who wear matching jerseys (I'm looking at YOU) to the game, but way worse.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=7717686&sk=info
Seeing shit like this makes me hate weddings more. Special vows etc. make me roll my eyes. And yes, I'm usually one of the shady bitches in the back talking shit under my breath. Mine was perfect. 15 min. JP ceremony in the living room, about 28 people, Champagne, wine, hors d'oeuvrs, cake, done. Total cost:$350. Not making people suffer through hours of bullshit: priceless.
Lmao WinterOwl!!
I think we just found a cure for constipation. ;)
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
Submitted by Fujicat on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 9:55pm.
Saw this last week, vetted it a bit. It's a fake..some kind of promotional commercial.
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Thanks for spreading your misinformation to the gullible.
This is far too pathetic to be fake, and in fact isn't:
http://www.insideedition.com/news/8428/inside-editions-exclusive-intervi...
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
Actually, I don't think that she is dickmatized so much as he is vagmatized (ah, the words we're coming up with for the Nuclear Age...) - anyhow, you can see him thinking, How many more bangs before he's bored, she's bored, blah, blah, blah - assuming this is real, I give it less than a year. And yes, she's an arrogant twat for making it all about her (I'm a female, by the way, and I still don't side with the b@@@@.) =)
She is quoted as saying "I wanted him to know how much I loved him". No, you wanted to show off to a captive audience. You were making it about you, not him. Hey brides, shut up, be sweet, and be a good hostess to your guests who were kind enough to shower and wear something clean. This isn't a show it is a ceremony and if you're having it in a church you are upstaging God and don't make her come down diva on your ass.
thank goodness for the mute button...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
and you wonder why this marriage only lasted til the honeymoon well thats why gong, gong, gong, buzz, buzz, buzz lol
thats why you are dlisted
Submitted by Fujicat on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 9:55pm.
Saw this last week, vetted it a bit. It's a fake..some kind of promotional commercial.
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What for, the end of the world?
Submitted by Mel-Tang on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 1:12am.
Oh lord.
I really got explosive diahhreah from that massacre. I think she hit a strange note that has never been heard by humans, and it triggered contractions in my bowels.
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Nah. It's known as the Brownis Difficultis Note. Rihanna routinely hits this note. : P
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.
Why is this off-key singer all over the internets?
Um...what's a "chap-pole"??
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"Get the fuck out of the way, I want to see the Baby Jesus!" -- MK
This is a GREAT song and she fucked it up!!!! Who does she think she is and how pathetic does she look with that big ol mic looking like a dildo? ***going to sleep***
Oh lord.
I really got explosive diahhreah from that massacre. I think she hit a strange note that has never been heard by humans, and it triggered contractions in my bowels.
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
Submitted by 12stepstohell on Mon, 06/25/2012
I want to see somebody pull this shit at a funeral. All the pall bearers go up to grab the casket and somebody in back with a cd player starts a cd of dead mans party by oingo boingo, they rip off their suits and underneath they have those black tshirts with the skeleton on it...
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oohhh...they could sing "Highway to Hell".
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"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK
I'm going to pull a Chris Crocker here (don't throw shade at me) but I don't see what the big fucking deal is...I've seen MUCH MUCH worse.
A wedding party can bust out and dance down the aisle to Chris Brown's and it's a "hit" but I just fail to see what is so terrible about this. She may be no Xtina but God damn, if she wants to belt out at her wedding, let her do it.
I find this to be completely innocent and is sad that so many people are mocking this.
Granted, I'm no angel and have poked fun of internet gems but for some reason, I can't throw shade at this. She seems completely innocent and I juts can't dis this for some reason.
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"What is the Yiddish word for puto estúpido, because that's what he really is" - MK
I just read this is the real deal. Sadly, she lost her dad at 13 in a car wreck and the groom got hit by a trick when he was a kid affecting his vocal abilities.
I stand by my earlier statement, though.
*picks up VIP ticket to hell*
She should have quit after the first verse. Then it would have been cute --- not desperate!
Apparently you are not the only one who can't with her. She had maybe five people on her side of the church (I'm guessing they were her parents and grandparents - you know those people obligated to witness the fuckery) while his side was full.
I would have had to duck down under a pew or something so that my laughter wouldn't be visible. I would NOT be able to hold it in at something like that.
Lindsay Lohan's costar's nalgas flew her so close to the sun that they both exploded into stardust that still lights up Hollywood.
What a mess. There was nothing touching or inspiring about that arrogant display of bad taste.
Brutal! This will make a Top Ten Wedding Fails list fo sho.
must be good dick.
don't be harsh on her, we all get dickmatized and do stupid things for good dick.
I had to turn it off , I tried looking away but I could still hear her / it.
Such debauchery. It is not a measure of good health to be well adjusted in a sick society. I mean really what gives with all this Nickelback shit nowadays?!?!!?!?! ?! " 'Cause we all just................
wanna be big rock stars , living in ten houses, driving 15 cars , oh I wanna be a rock star ! " - Chad Kroeger from ROCKSTAR by Nickelback
" Oh my heavens , my photo has vanished ! "
Does not bode well to sing at your wedding! Didn't Chestica and Nick serenade each other at their wedding?
doncorleone -- I'd tell you where but won't just in case she'd stumble across this. We were out to dinner one night, girls' night out, and can you believe her husband, grand mac daddy, was already calling her to ask when she'd be home so they could go to karaoke -- yet again??? FUCK ME! Jesus Christ, can't she get one night off from that shit? She'll be home when she gets home, motherfucker. What were we supposed to do, drive faster so we'd get there sooner so you, mister pimp master, could get to karaoke night sooner? I think not. I wish I could provide visuals with this; imagine something out of a Dave Chappelle show, with Dave playing the husband. Yes, it's that bad.
P.T.bull -- hey, good for you. I'm the biggest Sinatra fan on the planet. If singing Frank got you some tail, then hey, that's great. Better singing some Frank than some shitty pop or country song.
So cringe-worthy I could barely watch even after I muted the sound. Certified DIVA!
Submitted by Anonymouse73 on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 10:54pm.
"Fujicat's picture
Submitted by Fujicat on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 9:55pm.
Saw this last week, vetted it a bit. It's a fake..some kind of promotional commercial.
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Oh thank GOD.
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Yahbut..the REAL story is what is she advertising? Her talented singing voice and way with an audience? Clearly, this is a product of the 1990's touchy/feely education movement where EVERY child is entitled and EVERY child is talented and oh so wonderful. Ho needs a beatdown.
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Fair is foul and foul is fair..