Hot Sluts Of The Day!
All 100 of the orange shorts-wearing beauties from last night's Miss Hooters International Swimsuit Pageant sponsored by Bud Light. Every single one of them.
As I was drunkenly flipping channels last night, I came across a silicone wonderland of pure class filled with naranja-skinned flowers in bikinis. It was the 16th Annual Miss Hooters International Swimsuit Pageant on FX and it was EVERYTHING.
Each Hooters location put one of their girls on a flying buffalo wing and sent her to Miami to compete for the title and a $50,000 prize. Everything about this pageant was right from its host (Mark McGrath!) to Bud Light being the main sponsor to Hooters girls serving beer in the audience to the celebrity judges. When I say "celebrity judges" I mean I've never heard of even one of them. I figured that maybe one of the judges would be the dude who punched Snooki in the first season of Jersey Shore or maybe a dude who once shared a line off of a call girl's cooch with Charlie Sheen, but nope. Every single one of the celebrity judges' names made my brain burp up a question mark. But that was all part of the magic.
The best part of that mess of a pageant was when each girl introduced herself to us and then awkwardly sashayed down a runway while Mark McGrath read off her life goals. Every girl wore like 15-inch platform heels and most of them couldn't walk in that shit. So they looked like a constipated penguin on stilts trying to walk on a conveyer belt moving the opposite way. As they stumbled down that catwalk, Mark McGrath read off their ambitions and I started to sense a theme. They either wanted to be a dental hygienist AND a Victoria's Secret model, a pharmaceutical sales rep AND a Victoria's Secret model, a radiology technician AND a Victoria's Secret model, a TV host AND a Victoria's Secret model, a cancer curer AND a Victoria's Secret model, a famous interior designer AND a Victoria's Secret model, the owner of a no-kill animal shelter AND a Victoria's Secret model or just a plain Victoria's Secret model. Every one of those beauties was my favorite, but here's three of my favorite favorites. They're probably my favorite favorites, because they don't want to be Victoria's Secret model and because they made me spit up wine.
"Megan is studying theoretical astrophysics at the University of Nottingham. She would love to become an astronaut and explore the moon and other planets."
"Tasha's studying pharmaceutical sales and nursing. She would love to become a rep for a pharmaceutical company making drugs that cure cancer."
"Michelle is still undecided about going to college, but she wants to be a psychologist. And although she's from New Mexico, she supports the Denver Broncos."
In the end, Miss Boca Raton, FL won the title of Miss Hooters International, but I felt that I was the one who REALLY won, because I discovered my new favorite pageant next to RuPaul's Drag Race.
And now I leave you with a quote from last year's Miss Hooters International:
"I will never forget my time in the orange shorts."
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Submitted by Twat Muffin on Sun, 06/24/2012 - 2:34pm.
Within -- I know, I'm totally embarrassed by my love/lust for Sean Penn, and I'd totally mop the floor with him!!! Isn't that gross? =====================
Depends. Would you simply ride that, or would you actually - *shudders* - engage in conversation with him?
Mickey -- they totally look alike, and they all are fug!
Within -- I know, I'm totally embarrassed by my love/lust for Sean Penn, and I'd totally mop the floor with him!!! Isn't that gross? LOL! How are ya, hon?
Hi Within!
I agree. There should be an male equivalent to this contest. Maybe there is but it isn't televised?
Mickey, you have an inner migraine? Naw, this show sounds like a hot mess!
But I do think they should have one for guys! I'd be the first to watch a beefcake contest! Heels or no heels ahahah
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by crazyinjapan on Sun, 06/24/2012 - 2:12pm.
"Character is what you do when nobody else can see."
Paraphrased or not, that expression is rock solid.
OT: Why do these women insist on looking like assembly line dolls? Even their hair is parted on the same side. I can feel my inner Migraineuse stirring.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
*Waves at Twatty because I keep missing her* (even though we will never see eye-to-eye on HER lover Sean Penn)
Hi everyone!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by crazyinjapan on Sun, 06/24/2012 - 2:18pm.
Did I mention your name Claire???
If the foot-high lucite heel fits, well....
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You obviously didn't need to as I'm the only one Gobbler has yelled at one here. If you think you know everything to know about me just because I used to be a stripper, then you are an extremely judgmental and ignorant person. Also, I never wore lucites.
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
I wonder how many of them think there are two Chinas.
Did I mention your name Claire???
If the foot-high lucite heel fits, well....
Submitted by crazyinjapan on Sun, 06/24/2012 - 2:12pm.
Gobbler: There are some angry people who like to hide behind an avatar and screen name to take out their aggression on other posters. Character is what you do when nobody else can see (OK, I paraphrased that, not sure the exact quote or who said it).
Don't let it bug you (easier said than done)!
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Dude. What did I say to deserve that? I questioned something she said and get called a cunt, and I'm the aggressive one? I never bitch out other people on here or get into name calling and you know nothing about me or my character.
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
Gobbler: There are some angry people who like to hide behind an avatar and screen name to take out their aggression on other posters. Character is what you do when nobody else can see (OK, I paraphrased that, not sure the exact quote or who said it).
Don't let it bug you (easier said than done)!
MK way to go with today's hot sluts! This reminds me of the Golden Globes, remember there was a time where they were the biggest awkward joke and then all of a sudden they became THE precursor to the Oscars, and ALL the stars wanted to get an invite? Miss Universe and rug-wearer Trump better watch their bland asses! You're no longer *the only game in town* bitches! hahahaha
Lmao at all the quotes... they're perfection... Now, I'm sorry I missed this mess. lollol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Haha, right?! I'd think that, to work at a place like Hooter's, you'd have to be at LEAST cute in the face. Not look like Gollum and Vicki (you nailed it) had a tequila-fueled one-night stand.
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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Hotmami -- we're both being freaked out by the same chickie!
pharm sales and nursing? it's one or the other, sweetheart. youre not going to be a nurse during the week and a pfizer rep on the weekend. to quote mean girls, "god, karen, youre so stupid!"
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"I felt very still & very empty, the way the eye of a tornado must feel, moving dully along in the middle of the surrounding hullabaloo."
Submitted by Gobbler on Sun, 06/24/2012 - 1:45pm.
Submitted by clairey claire on Sun, 06/24/2012 - 1:36pm.
Meh. Worse ways to pay your way through college. They might look dumb but they're smart enough to know where the money is. Why work minimum wage/get yourself in debt to pay tuition fees if you've got the goods and don't mind people looking at them?
Submitted by Gobbler on Sun, 06/24/2012 - 12:56pm.
The moon and other planets??????
LOOOOOOOOOL
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Um, she's studying theoretical astrophysics! Surely you're not trying to imply she's stupid? I'm guessing someone else paraphrased/wrote that.
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UUUUMMM, wow, you sure do like to read a lot into the comments of others. SURELY I didn't say SHE wrote/said that. I was IMPLYING that the statement itself was stupid. SURELY you can fuck right off. I'M GUESSING you are a cunt.
Bye-good.
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Wow, well I think thats the first time I ever spoke to you and hopefully will be the last. K Thanx Bye
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
Submitted by clairey claire on Sun, 06/24/2012 - 1:36pm.
Meh. Worse ways to pay your way through college. They might look dumb but they're smart enough to know where the money is. Why work minimum wage/get yourself in debt to pay tuition fees if you've got the goods and don't mind people looking at them?
Submitted by Gobbler on Sun, 06/24/2012 - 12:56pm.
The moon and other planets??????
LOOOOOOOOOL
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Um, she's studying theoretical astrophysics! Surely you're not trying to imply she's stupid? I'm guessing someone else paraphrased/wrote that.
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UUUUMMM, wow, you sure do like to read a lot into the comments of others. SURELY I didn't say SHE wrote/said that. I was IMPLYING that the statement itself was stupid. SURELY you can fuck right off. I'M GUESSING you are a cunt.
Bye-good.
Is it just me or does that one in the hot pink bikini in the banner pic look like Vicki from the Real Housewives of Orange County? Sorry, but these bitches are fug! Is it a requisite of Hooters that every chick have the same hairdo? And Michelle, uh, do-do, you do have to go to college to be a psychologist.
Girly on the right (pink bikini) has a face that would give the fucking Elephant Man nightmares.
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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Hooters gives me a schizophrenic reaction every time I see one. I can't believe we live in such a primitive and superficial culture. It's just so weird. And to make matters worse I invariably start thinking about "what if" my daughter took a job at Hooters. And I don't even have a daughter.
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What is her problem? She's just laying there...
Meh. Worse ways to pay your way through college. They might look dumb but they're smart enough to know where the money is. Why work minimum wage/get yourself in debt to pay tuition fees if you've got the goods and don't mind people looking at them?
Submitted by Gobbler on Sun, 06/24/2012 - 12:56pm.
The moon and other planets??????
LOOOOOOOOOL
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Um, she's studying theoretical astrophysics! Surely you're not trying to imply she's stupid? I'm guessing someone else paraphrased/wrote that.
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
Submitted by Hotmami on Sun, 06/24/2012 - 1:01pm.
Dear Michelle Delaney,
You HAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE to be a psychologist. You poor little dumbass.
Love,
Me
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Not just 4-year college, either. I think you need at least an MA if not a doctorate to practice. I don't think this one has the attention span.
ETA - does New Mexico even have a football team? I'm confused by that last part. I think we have another Miss South Carolina map girl here.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Submitted by Hekki on Sun, 06/24/2012 - 1:14pm.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hekki, where do all the drug rep go when they get old. I never see old ones.
Thanks, Hek! I think you are a cool chick!
Those shoes, OMG. Who decided it was sexy for a woman to be unable to walk? *searches brain, computer spinning circle* Rapists? Because they can't get away?
OT: crazyinjapan, I've been enjoying your comments so much. I just love all the RL stories dlisters tell!
The yellow bikini girl must have connections because when channel surfing with the hubby last night we saw this trainwreck and his immediate comment when seeing her front and center was "why is SHE is this competion?" On another note - poor Mark McGrath, guess he didn't save much money from his Sugar Ray glory days.
Lisbet: Thanks for that link. It was really interesting! And it reminded me of a couple that my mom knew. They were both drug reps and had a beautiful huge house and a baby. They did very well. The wife wasn't hot at all, but she was very smart and personable.
And like the pushy drug rep I know, be super pushy. Bossy and asking personal questions and being such a noodge that they just give you what you want so you'll go the uck away.
I guess there are different ways to be a good sales rep. Be hot, be pushy or be nice and servicey.
ETA: My neighborhood is packed to the gills with high-end dr's offices and you see the pharm reps: they're young and shiny and purposeful (men and women), with their little briefcases and wheely things with their sales material.
My best friend from high school and I used to love to go to the beauty pageants. This was in the late 80s, so the girls were particularly entertaining with their enormous hair, electric blue eyeshadow, and head to toe sequins.
Our favorite quotes: "Fray-unch is mah favorite class because Ah feel like Ah'm learnin' a whole new language!"
And: "Mah favorite book is the Nieman Marcus catalog!"
Oh, lolololol! The girl who said she was undecided about college but wants to become a psychologist triggered these precious memories...
I hope the brunettes in the last pic are part of the clean-up crew, because they don't look like competitors.
Shaddup you stupid bitches, you ain't going to college, and get me another order of buffalo wings!
Dear Michelle Delaney,
You HAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE to be a psychologist. You poor little dumbass.
Love,
Me
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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Its a wonder your plasma TV didnt melt by broadcasting this much of a large quantity of elegance, sophistication and mensa IQ'd group of spray tanned siliconed beef jerkys
Its not plastic surgery , its a medical condition!!
Damn, how did I miss this?
Last time I went to Hooters, we had subpar service and the food was not great. My bestie, a rude ghey, said it was because my boobs were better than the waitresses!
The moon and other planets??????
LOOOOOOOOOL
Submitted by joe shmoe on Sun, 06/24/2012 - 12:54pm.
Submitted by Hekki on Sun, 06/24/2012 - 12:49pm.
And this is going to sound terrible, because I KNOW there are nice pharma reps out there, but the ones I know personally are stupid bimbos with nice bodies. Seriously.
One of the women is dumb as dirt (I'd put her at Britney Spears level, but she has a nice body) and the other one is so fucking pushy the docs probably just want to get her out of their offices.
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Now that you say that, I know several female pharma reps & it's true: they're all hardbodied, gel-nailed, glamour pusses. Three of them are nothing special in the brains dept but one, who was a client of mine was scary smart and making very good money (more than me, that's for sure).
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http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2011/02/are_all_drug_reps_hot.html
"When you hear that all drug reps are hot, you can be confident that the person speaking is a middle aged man and/or someone with... limited sexual power. These people are prone to two errors. A psychological one: fetishization; and a biological one: mistaking for beauty what is merely youth.
"This is supported by the reverse complaint among young male residents, young male reps, and guys who've been around the block: where are all the hot reps? This company blows.
"These women aren't hot, they are polished, hair and nails, new shoes, clothes, time at the gym and plenty of sleep. (Sigh, that was me-- never.) What would you expect of a single woman with a lot of disposable income magnified 10x by credit?
"If you saw them in a bar you might not even notice them, but in a doctor's office their appearance is jarring, out of place, no one else has such attention to their appearance. No one else is as young. No one else walks with such confidence."
Submitted by Hekki on Sun, 06/24/2012 - 12:49pm.
And this is going to sound terrible, because I KNOW there are nice pharma reps out there, but the ones I know personally are stupid bimbos with nice bodies. Seriously.
One of the women is dumb as dirt (I'd put her at Britney Spears level, but she has a nice body) and the other one is so fucking pushy the docs probably just want to get her out of their offices.
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Now that you say that, I know several female pharma reps & it's true: they're all hardbodied, gel-nailed, glamour pusses. Three of them are nothing special in the brains dept but one, who was a client of mine was scary smart and making very good money (more than me, that's for sure).
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Mr. Hekki and I ate at a place called "Bazookas" in NJ. It was a copycat Hooters place. Hilarious. The waitresses had similar outfits, knee socks over suntan hose, and sneakers. They had the best mozzarella sticks, though.
Hooters - My 16 year old son's dream destination - over my cold, dead body. (Or at least as long as I have any say in it which is probably not much longer, LOL)
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Does the brunette in the first pic even have enough cleavage to be a Hooters girl? I thought they all need to have at least a c cup to work in that dump.
I'm sure those girls' parents are so proud. #eyeroll
Ugh, who am I kidding, they most likely really are.
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Rrridiaouw woo oo rrri-ou!
Sometimes I wish I had. tv. This would be one of those times.
I had friend that offered me a job at Hooters in the West Edmonton Mall. He told me that girl's made outrageous tips there. I ended up working at a shoe store instead for minimum wage.
Mark McGrath will do anything these days to be on tv. I'm surprised he is not hosting on QVC
And this is going to sound terrible, because I KNOW there are nice pharma reps out there, but the ones I know personally are stupid bimbos with nice bodies. Seriously.
One of the women is dumb as dirt (I'd put her at Britney Spears level, but she has a nice body) and the other one is so fucking pushy the docs probably just want to get her out of their offices.
Can you imagine putting this on your CV?
Mark McGrath! Hahahahaha! Sorry...
MK, how could you not include something about this fool caught in the days prior to the pageant?
http://www.dreamindemon.com/2012/06/19/chubby-loser-nabbed-filming-hoote...
My hubby and I flipped back and forth to this a few times as well (HE had the remote, lol). Gold.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
TL;DR.
That one in the yellow bikini top should be disqualified. It looks like her breasts are real, and they're not pushed up to her chin.
BEGONE, ITTY BITTY TITTY LADY!