No, this is not another post about Pet Monster.
Snooki still has a pickleling growing in her vodka chamber called a womb and she’s still wearing sky high death shoes (okay, I know those platforms are like 4 inches tall, but that’s half of Snooki’s total heigh, so they’re totally sky high to her).
While looking like a mutant pineapple, Snooki strolled through Seaside Heights, NJ the other day and nearly smashed her unborn baby when she tripped on her own stupidity and went down. Dumb bitch. I know Snooki is used to being on her knees with her mouth open in public, but wait until your poor baby is born first, bitch! Damn. That poor child is going to be raised by two Gorilla dingles, will have to wear Affliction onesies, will have to sleep in a tanning bed cradle, will probably be born with cirrhosis of the liver and now he has to worry about getting a concussion?
Snooki ALWAYS needs to have a seat, but this time she really needs to have a seat.