Open Post: Hosted By Mugly, The World's Ugliest Dog
All hail our new ugly bitch king Mugly!
The title of World's Ugliest Dog went to another Chinese Crested this year after 8-year-old Mugly won the top prize at the annual pageant in Petaluma, CA yesterday. Mugly and his owner Bev Nicholson came all the way from Britain to see if he could kill the competition with his bloated Snooki body, his Snoop Dogg after 10 blunts eyes, his grandpa seal whiskers and his Ivy Queen nails. Mugly did it and he won a $1,000 cash prize, a VIP stay at Sheraton Petaluma, a bunch of dog treats and the honor of being the ugliest bitch in all the land.
My heart will forever belong to last year's winner Yoda (RIP), but I like Mugly. Just look at him. Dude's got his legs spread open, is stoned into another world, is wearing the shit out of that tiny hat and looks like he's in the middle of letting out a slow fart. Basically, that's me on my sofa every Saturday night.
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Mugley thinks he just won a best dog contest.
Hekki -- believe it or not, I actually like my friends kids, or nice kids. I hate the spoiled, finicky ones, too. I also hate noisy ones or ones that have ants in the pants. I especially hate bullies and cruel kids.
mike, I think horses are exquisite creatures. Fascinatingly beautiful. But i won't ride them. they scare the shit out of me.
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And now I'm hard, too hard to know
I don't cry when I'm sad anymore, no no
Tears calcify in my, fears go inside
How can I ask anyone to love me
When all I do is beg to be left alone?
Funny thing is I think all dogs are cute especially the ugly ones, can't say the same for people though....dogs, cats all critters forever rule!!!Even da bunneh!!!
@Tyroan
Are you insinuating that my tongue hangs out and that I drool? *places hands on hips and taps right foot*
OK. Sometimes I do.
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
Twatty: LOL! I can usually find something nice to say.
And you know what's worse? Is when I don't like the kids -- regardless of their looks. There are some kids that I just can't stand. They ARE people, after all.
There's this snotty girl in my daughter's class who is "fast" - already! In second grade! She wears wedge heels like her slutty mother, and she's a terror. She's the one who's going to be teaching the other girls how to give BJs in the fifth grade.
It's the spoiled, finicky ones that I don't like. I love the spunky funny kids. The ones who are a little bit of trouble.
Dogs smell if they aren't bathed regularly, but the same can be said for humans.
What's always mystified me is the fact that cats don't smell, yet most seem to have bad breath.
I like cats and dogs just as I like apples and oranges. I really like all animals, though horses leave me pretty cold.
ESE, I love the kitties too. I wish my doggie likes kitties, I'd get one!
**********************************************
And now I'm hard, too hard to know
I don't cry when I'm sad anymore, no no
Tears calcify in my, fears go inside
How can I ask anyone to love me
When all I do is beg to be left alone?
PSL's doggeh don't stank!!!
But I am of the firm belief that all dogs' paws smell like Dorito's.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sat, 06/23/2012 - 9:20pm.
*puts on novelty fake nose and mustache glasses*... you wouldn't hit a guy wearing glasses, right?... i have a feeling that i'm in deep pucky here, folks!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
These people don't realize we tend to resemble our dogs.
@Charlie
It's all about knowing what you are getting into if you rescue (yes!) or buy from a breeder (not so much). So many Persian cats end up in shelters because people think that they are "cute", yet potential "owners" (a cat is never owned, by the way) don't realize how much work it takes to properly maintain them.
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*edited because I am tired and need to hit the sheets* But not before grooming the pussy! :D
'Nite, all! *passionate fondles*
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
ESE, my doggie does NOT stink. she is small, and clean and never smells like "dog".
come closer to me, and tell me my dog stinks again......*cracks knuckles, gets in fighting stance*
:)
**********************************************
And now I'm hard, too hard to know
I don't cry when I'm sad anymore, no no
Tears calcify in my, fears go inside
How can I ask anyone to love me
When all I do is beg to be left alone?
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sat, 06/23/2012 - 9:14pm.
heyyyyyyyyyyyyy--MY doggie don't stink! :)
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yes, yes it does... all of those things do!... TEAM KITTY CATS!!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Charlie:Well, there are things you have to do to keep them from smelling like cleaning their face folds and paws (his paws smell awful!) and ears and teef. If it's just you and the Mrs. (I can't call her landwhale and feel right) and you have time to take care of it like it's your baby, you can keep them smelling okay, I think.
And he farts the most poisonous, malodorous, deathly farts ever.
heyyyyyyyyyyyyy--MY doggie don't stink! :)
**********************************************
And now I'm hard, too hard to know
I don't cry when I'm sad anymore, no no
Tears calcify in my, fears go inside
How can I ask anyone to love me
When all I do is beg to be left alone?
Which one is the dog?
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
truth in advertising, pugs are cute, major personality, lots of health, skin, breathing problems, and the farting...phew!!
Fujicat -- I am so embarrassed to admit this, but I find Matt Lauer very sexy. I don't know why, but I do. He also seems like he'd be very pervy in bed. It's one of those things I can't explain. He looks like he'd smell good, too.
Hekki -- you're way too kind. I wouldn't even say precious. I just don't say anything, aside from the nod and the "hmmmm" I already mentioned.
Dogs stink. However, if you bathe the dog and brush its teeth every day, like humans do, then perhaps they wouldn't.
Hekki -- did someone every show you a picture of a kid expecting you to say something nice and all you can do is recoil in horror? That has happened to me and all I do is nod my head and go "hmmm." Seriously, I've been skeeved out by so many fucking ugly kids it's not funny.
charlie -- most animals are smelly. Then again, if you ask me, kids smell, too, and I'd prefer animal smell over kid smell any day, but that's just me. Any animals are way more lovable & sweet.
Mugly = Motherfucking Ugly??
"Do they expect us to go, wow! A pic of a dick! It's so impressive I think I want to fuck it now!"
LOL! Basically, I think.
Sometimes it works *blush*
Ya'll are cracking me up today. Between MK's description of himself on a Saturday night & the dick talk...dying. hehe
Hekki...I am SO using that the next time I have to say something about an ugly baby! Perfect! Thanks!
Salma -- is your friend interested in you? Seriously, unless you're really into him & turned on by him, I can't think of anything more heinous than a picture of some dude's junk. That's just so gross.
Submitted by Hekki on Sat, 06/23/2012 - 8:06pm.
Mayo: Pugs ARE cute. But they have lots of health problems.
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REALLY?? What problems does those little balls of fur have? :(
__________________________________________________
"If I can't be my own, i'd feel better dead"- Nutshell
@Twatty
Exactly! Li' shit!
The worst part of the whole thing was that the mother was laughing her ass off at her kids reaction. Luckily, it was in the fall. I probably saved the crotchfruit years in therapy by telling her not to worry, this was the "Halloween Kitteh", and he was just in for a check-up.
@Hekki
Not a plug! (typo, and it stays) He's a purebred Black Smoke Persian hooker! Purebred animals have crappy toofs because of all the inbreeding that goes on to achieve the "ideal" standard for show.
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
LMAO at the ugly kid talk.
I know some ugly damn kids.
What I say about babies when I am called upon to say something nice is "Isn't s/he sooo precious?!" because all babies are precious. Not a lie, and parents always infer precious=beautiful.
Submitted by Hekki on Sat, 06/23/2012 - 8:06pm.
Mayo: Pugs ARE cute. But they have lots of health problems.
My nephew is a pug and he's packed with personality, and is very sweet
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me and landwhale love pugs, but can't bring ourselves to get a dog because we are afraid of the dog smell. can you offer an tips as far as doggy smellys go?
BaconSlut: Is your hooker a pug?
I didn't mean to talk shit about My Nephew The Pug. I love him. He is so sweet that my MIL who is phobic of and hates dogs is putty in his paws.
We all adore him.
PSL -- oh, I know I'm going to get hit with the "all children are beautiful" shit. But knowing my dlisted friends in snark, I can count on them having the sense to know that there are a ton of fucking ugly kids out there.
BaconSlut -- why that little fucker, huh? She should have had the honor of meeting your frothy little kitteh! I would have grabbed his little face and gotten froth all over my face after kissing him.
Off topic of kittehs, doggehs & ugly kids. I just bought several swimsuits. I've made the decision to keep the sexiest, deep V-cut, black one piece. I've got kind of a Christina Hendricks figure with a tad less boobage going on so I don't have to worry about so much boobage falling out. What do you ladies (or gents) think of such a swimsuit?
ESE, no shit! I love kids, I work with them by choice. but some are UGLY.
**********************************************
And now I'm hard, too hard to know
I don't cry when I'm sad anymore, no no
Tears calcify in my, fears go inside
How can I ask anyone to love me
When all I do is beg to be left alone?
Submitted by SalmaNella on Sat, 06/23/2012 - 7:57pm.
off topic: a male friend who I've known for 5 years has just emailed me pictures of his junk.
___________________-
There seem to be quite a few men out there who like to take pix of their dicks and send them. I suppose it's like some kind of primitive mating ritual, like a peacock spreading its tailfeathers. Do they expect us to go, wow! A pic of a dick! It's so impressive I think I want to fuck it now!
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sat, 06/23/2012 - 8:26pm.
and a lot of them smell bad too!... George Carlin said it, and he was "Mr. Conductor", so you can take that shit to the bank!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
@Salma
Ask him why he sent you a picture of his nose.
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
Man, what a bunch of ugly beasts! The dogs must be so embarrassed to be seen with them.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Please: It's "rahnday."
DM is saying Hoda Kotb is a front-runner. The D peeps called it! Let's hope it's true. Those other broads are a bunch of prunes on NBC.
Now if they'd only ditch the extra large prune, Lauer and replace him with Lester Holt, the Today Show might have some potential.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2163645/Ann-Currys-replacement-T...
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Fair is foul and foul is fair..
My ex had a shit zoo with orange underbite teeth and a tongue that stuck out. He was also the color of a dirty mop. I hated that dog. He bit my nephew in the FACE when he was a baby. Anyway, I saw the winner of the ugly dog contest years ago and it looked exactly like my ex's dog. I pointed it out to him and he got all huffy and acted like I hurt the dog's feelings. lol! I'm like, "But he is the spitting image. You should enter him next year." After that, when I'd get annoyed with him, I'd whisper "ugly dog contest" and he would shoot me a mean look.
Submitted by SalmaNella on Sat, 06/23/2012 - 7:57pm.
off topic: a male friend who I've known for 5 years has just emailed me pictures of his junk. I'm not sure how to respond but now I have a craving for turkey sausages. ha ha
First time a guy exposed himself to me I blurted out "oh, I'm so sorry... were you in a horrible accident or just born that way?"
That might work if you want him to go away...
Twatty, now you can count down the minutes til someone calls you mean for saying there are ugly children out there.
I hate when people say that is mean- they are people, there will be beautiful ones, attractive ones, cute ones, plain ones and ugly ones. That is the truth. NOT all children are beautiful. Deal with it.
**********************************************
And now I'm hard, too hard to know
I don't cry when I'm sad anymore, no no
Tears calcify in my, fears go inside
How can I ask anyone to love me
When all I do is beg to be left alone?
@Twatty
He really is stunning. But he is an eyeful! (I forgot to mention that his tongue is usually sticking out.)
One time, I had him in to the vet and was trying to get him out of his carrier and put him on the scale in the waiting room. A little girl, maybe about three years of age, was watching as I removed his butt-end. I asked her if she would like to meet my cat, and she responded with an enthusiastic "Yes!" In short, I turned him face toward the kid and her eyes nearly popped out of her head. Never taking her eyes off my dude, who was in all his frothy glory, she cautiously side-stepped over to her mother and clung to her leg like it was a floating piece of the Titanic.
Good boy!
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
Like charlie said, no animal is really ugly. People, on the other hand, if I had a dollar for every ugly fucker I've seen . . .
Hekki -- ugly kid contest -- BWAHAHAHAHA!!! I see fucking ugly kids every day. And I hate the people who put those fucking huge flower headbands on their fucking ugly kids. It's like, your kid is ugly, why draw attention to it?
Jeanneee -- your parents sound like awesome people.
BaconSlut -- OMG, that kitty sounds beautiful; there's no such thing as an ugly kitteh!!!
@Hekki
Purebreds are notorious for having crappy toofs. Mine has had to have several removed by the vet. High maintenance hooker, he is!
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
An OP on a Saturday? *pinches self*
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.
Mayo: Pugs ARE cute. But they have lots of health problems.
My nephew is a pug and he's packed with personality, and is very sweet.
But the hot weather is very bad for him; he has breathing problems and his face folds get smelly if you they don't get cleaned and it might just be him, but his toofs are bad.
And he is FAT
Seeing this makes me want to have a little pug, they're sooo cute :(
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"If I can't be my own, i'd feel better dead"- Nutshell
MUGLY!!! Now THAT is a hot slut!
Anyone know if they have an ugly cat contest? I've got a contender, horz! A rescued Black Smoke Persian guy with a severe Peke-face. His nose is so far back that it looks as though it is trying to escape to the back of his head, bulgy and brilliant copper eyes that he risks getting wet food into when he eats, a touch of a harelip, and one upper fang that had to be removed. Oh, and when he is nervous (i.e. the vet, or a potential ugly cat contest), he blows snot bubbles out of his nose and drools as though he has rabies. In short, he is AWESOME.
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
Salma: I'm sure the bitches here can think of some snarky responses. I can't, but there are some witty folks here.
They should have ugly kid contests. AHA HAHAHHAHAHA
ha ha
I'm with Lucifer on this one. There is an imaginary word bubble over each dog's head about what they think about their owners: "You think I'm ugly? Bitch, have you looked in the mirror lately?"
off topic: a male friend who I've known for 5 years has just emailed me pictures of his junk. I'm not sure how to respond but now I have a craving for turkey sausages. ha ha
Is that Kim K holding up her new niece in the second to last photo?
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."