In Dumbass Lawsuit News....
Former Mr. Eva Longoria, Tony Parker, was at W.i.P nightclub the night Wheelchair Jimmy and Fist Brown's entourages got into a bottle-throwing, bloody bitch brawl. Tony had to go to the hospital after the fight, because a shard of glass flew into his eye and cut up his cornea. Tony is now suing a bitch and he's not suing Wheelchair Jimmy and Fist Brown for acting like rabid toddlers on roids. Tony is suing the nightclub...for $20 million. THIS BITCH. Oh wait, Tony has a scratched eyeball, so he might not be able to see that. Let me try again:
THIS BITCH.
TMZ says that in the lawsuit filed yesterday, Tony says that the club security should've known it was a bad move to put Drake and Chris Brown in the same section together. Tony goes on to say that the club made shit worse by continuing to serve Chris and Drake as much booze as they ordered. Tony thinks that the club cared more about making money than the safety of the other hos in the club. Tony is suing for $20 million, because his NBA career will be affected if his cornea doesn't heal all the way.
From now on, Tony Parker should follow my rule about clubs. I only go to classy clubs that don't have a VIP section, don't do bottle service and serve all their booze in plastic cups. A rule to live by.
And Tony's ass should really sue Wheelchair Jimmy and Fist Brown instead. They're the ones with the money and they're the douchebags who started it all. The only way this lawsuit makes sense is if you told me that a shard of glass also made its way up to Tony's head and cut the part of his brain that produces reasonable thoughts.
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What does he need good eyesight for, he's a fucking point guard?
Pass it to the big black fucker. The End.
Isn't "pass it to the big black fucker" part of the Thunder Cat Hoes (government name Kardassians) motto?
ima gonna sue 7eleven cause my dr pepper wasnt cold enough.
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
I can't decide who I hate the most in this story.
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
Submitted by crazyinjapan :
Ooh, eyeball violence, just the mere thought of it, makes me nauseated and cringing.
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I used to work in optics and was grinding down a lens when a piece of hot polycarbonate flew right into my eye. It was a PAIN LIKE NO OTHER! I was freaking out and thought I was gonna lose my sight. Thankfully, we had a doctor on sight and he gave me soothing drops and reassured me the eye heals very well.
crazyinjapan: That was a good story! Thanks for the link.
ETA: See, this another example of why I love this site. People turn you on to new stuff every day.
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:40pm.
OMG the money for the bus lady is over 400k!
Now she can buy a nicer purse!
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It's gonna be filled with twinkies!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Hmmmm, this is making my lawsuit against Miguelina for having to read all your gay comments everyday look very good!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:40pm.
Now she can buy a nicer purse!
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hahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
my vato friends call him mamoso.
translation: wussy pussy
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Why is he suing the club? If anyone's at fault, it's the people who caused the glass to go flying. I can see suing the club if they don't know who was in the fight or they were some poor dudes. These guys are rich and caused the injury, so THEY should cough it up.
Punitive damages are the only way these jackasses will learn their lesson.
Um, why the fuck don't you sue the idiots that started the fight?
OMG the money for the bus lady is over 400k!
Now she can buy a nicer purse!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:20pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:18pm.
Yes, very good.
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So I see, if he's workin a 50mill contract than he must be damn good.
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Submitted by RandéSleepover on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:29pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:18pm.
The club's insurer picks it up. But I doubt they have anything like $20m in personal-injury coverage. Maybe $2-5m?
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Thanks, it's a clusterfuck all around regardless.
I'm with the go after CB and Drake, anything that will distract them from the making their crap music is fine by me.
Listen Buttercup, ain't no one ever taught you hkw to avoid danger zones in bars?! Douche please! Little lord miss muffet face, lolol sucky! ;D
Yeah, he could game the system but someone's eventually going to have to pay for that $$$$ the insurers will need to shell out to his INJURED ass, or was that eye... and it will be everyone else, for sure!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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He needs to be suing Rhianna for assault causing bodily harm on my eardrums.
Brutal.
Five stars.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:29pm.
Submitted by SalmaNella on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:27pm.
Not defending Tony's actions...I don't think he was involved in the brawl...I think he just got hit with a flying bottle.
But again, he should be suing Drake or CB.
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Thanks for the correction. I mis-read that article and thought he was in on fight too.
MY NECK, MY BACK, MY NECK AND MY BACK.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
What kind of ignorant jerks throw bottles in a club? Come on now...and people don't like it when they are stereoyped!
he looked at Eva Longoria for a few years without her make up on, I trace the damage back to then
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Whamo- damnit! I was trying to just link the llama gif.
face like a foot...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
lol sucky Girfraaaaaaaan!
TMZ says he's in the middle of a $50M contract, so I can see how he came up with the number, kinda. *whispers* Pssst, Tony, half of 50 is actually 25. You're welcome.
Ooh, eyeball violence, just the mere thought of it, makes me nauseated and cringing.
However, one of my favorite short stories is "The Blue Bouquet." If you haven't read it, you should. It's short but packs a punch:
http://www.101bananas.com/library2/bluebouquet.html
Submitted by SalmaNella on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:27pm.
Not defending Tony's actions...I don't think he was involved in the brawl...I think he just got hit with a flying bottle.
But again, he should be suing Drake or CB.
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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:18pm.
The club's insurer picks it up. But I doubt they have anything like $20m in personal-injury coverage. Maybe $2-5m?
Tony's getting old but he's been a great basketball player. Three champeen rings?
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Please: It's "rahnday."
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:22pm.
http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.buzzfeed.com%2Flyapalat...
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Those pics are great! .lol,
This is reason #1 why I'm worried about having my own business. Assholes like Tony who come in and do dumb shit, get hurt and then sue the business. Take some responsibility for your own actions!!
The club should be suing his ass for getting into a brawl on their premises.
Hey Tony - why not also sue the two douche assholes, worth millions for their infantile pussy behavior and CAUSING the fight?
Oh, wait...you don't want to be outcasted.
LOL @ "THIS BITCH."
The club will now join the actually responsible parties--I mean, partiers--in the suit so it all gets wrapped up together.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
I just scratched my arse, where's my money?
I'll give him a call, or send him dirty texts if he wins that money. OH! And I can always get pregnant.
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Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
http://lif3d3sign.tumblr.com/
http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.buzzfeed.com%2Flyapalat...
His attorney is no dumbass. First they check to see if the club has insurance coverage and what their limits are. Then comes the lawsuit. Good on him, I say. The club is responsible for the safety of its patrons. Sue the fuck out of them, as well as those two incredible douche nozzles. Enough of this idiotic behavior.
He needs to sue his mother and father for raising an idiot.
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 06/22/2012 - 1:18pm.
Yes, very good.
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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012
Good luck with that. *snort*
I mean if it affects his eyesight and he misses a season or two, or it affects his career...$20 million isn't far off from his future earning potential. I'm going to have to see some receipts though.
And how about suing the dumbasses who were involved in the fight? Or you too afraid they won't let you hang with the cool kids anymore?
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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012
I am really enjoying her "HAY GURRRRLLL" face!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
How much fucking cake can this club even be worth? How does this work would the club's insurance cover something like this? Would he be trying to get blood from a stone???
I never understood suing someone for some amount of money you'd just never see.
I don't know shit about Basketball and find it boring as shit (hockey is the only true sport but I digress) was this ass clown any good anyway?
What. A sanctimonious prick. Is that all his careeris worth.
Been going to clubs for 30+ years; proudly say I've never been in a fight in a club nor injuried in a club. Whiney 'hos.
Somebody please slap everybody involved.
If his career is fucked then he has a good case, surely. Bars and clubs are liable for what happens on the premises and for how drunk they allow their patrons to get.
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
$20 mil? GTFO Tony.