Pimp Mama Kris Directed This Totally Authentic Moment, So Says Kris Humphries
Kris Humphries is currently trying to legally shut his ex-piece, Myla Sinanaj, up, because she's selling all the text messages he sent her about his fake marriage to Kim Kuntrashian. Myla claims that Kris told her she was the love of his life and he couldn't wait to get his divorce from Kim out of the way so they could be together. This screws with Kris' money, because he's suing Kim for playing with his innocent heart and defrauding him by only using him for a publicity stunt. (Nobody has ever accused Kris Humphries' caveman shit brain of producing anything but DUHs.)
Most of the shit Myla has been saying about Kris and Kim isn't that surprising, but nothing is more unsurprising than what he told her about Kim's sex tape with Ray J. TMZ says that Myla claims Kris told her that whore master Pimp Mama Kris ordered Kim to fuck her way to fame by making that tape with Ray J. The first cut wasn't good enough for Pimp Mama Kris so she ordered reshoots. Say what you want about Pimp Mama Kris, but she really does care about the cinematic integrity of her daughter's fuck time tape. TMZ's source puts it like this:
Kris Humphries trashed Kim Kardashian and her family in conversations and text messages to his former girlfriend, Myla Sinanaj ... telling her Kris Jenner not only directed Kim to shoot her sex tape, but to re-shoot because Kris J didn't think the first one was pretty enough.
A source close to the Kuntrashians (see: Pimp Mama Kris) calls this a lie, but I believe every word of it and no lies are detected. But what gets me is if they did reshoots, what did the first tape look like? I've seen more emotion in the faces of the plastic toys my dog humps than I did while watching Kim get her appendix poked out by Ray J's boomerang dick. Bitch just lays there like a constipated walrus trying to push out a much-needed fart. Maybe Kim was even deader in the first one and it classified as necrophilia porn, so PMK scrapped it. Actually, the second one counts as necrophilia porn too, because PMK sold Kim's soul to the devil long before that tape was made.
Here's PMK's #1 ho and her #2 ho Kanye Kardashian going to some restaurant in Paris yesterday.
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 06/21/2012 - 1:01pm.
Her face looks like she did something to it again....JFC you mannequin. STOP.
^^^WORD. I clicked on the 5th thumb and shuddered. She looks fucking waxy, creepy, and DEAD.
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Douchechill!
stone cold played by two skanks in one year. bravo, Kris, bravo
and he would NEVER have received an endorsement contract. NBA bench players do not get endorsement contracts, they might get hired as an extra in their superstar teammate's commercial. might.
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Her face looks like she did something to it again....JFC you mannequin. STOP.
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I understand about indecision
But I don't care if I get behind
People living in competition
All I want is to have my peace of mind
I think I can see why people would "admire" them or just watch their tv shows. They have money and do nothing but be stupid. In this economy most of us can only dream about having a life like that.
That said, I would never watch their shows (but I have) and I don't like them.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
http://lif3d3sign.tumblr.com/
I think Loopy should write pornz.
But most importantly where do I buy my ass my next Kim Kardashian $455 bath towel?
I don't believe the part about PMK directing the tape. The KH text thing, I do believe.
Kim is so beautiful when she's not wearing layers upon layers of makeup, eyelashes, and hair extensions.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Skanky family.
Submitted by QueenieBK on Thu, 06/21/2012 - 12:41pm.
I wish these people would fuck off and die.
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they don't necessarily have to "fuck off" first, right?... it's the "and die" part that i'm rooting for.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Lmao! ESE you make my day!
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...the end
miz. IKR< that's enuf of that!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
I wish these people would fuck off and die.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
For fuck's sake, you should give a warning before you post pictures like that.
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
Snowpiece and dementa: I can't even imagine her and Kanye having sex. I couldn't imagine her doing it with Humphries, either, but that's 'cause I think she despised him. I think she slept with him a few times 'cause it was 'expected' but I don't think she wanted to. And I can't picture her and Kanye cause I still think that he's a Gayfish. I think that she puts out, though 'cause its expected. I don't know. I just don't see her having sex 'cause she truly wants to/enjoys it. Ugh. I've spent enough time thinking about her sexy times!
I've always believed that KHump knew exactly what he was getting into.
He agreed to be filmed for a reality show.
He proposed to someone that he barely knew.
He agreed to have his marriage, family, and private conversations put on TV.
He agreed to do a season of Kim & Kourtney in NY and live with his new wife, her sister, and the sister's bf & child in front of cameras.
He signed contracts to be paid for all of this.
......It seems to me that Khump's only angry that Kim divorced him when he assumed that he'd be feeding on the Kardashian tit for a long time. Which is his fault because he went out of his way to be an ass to Kim.
Khump insisted that Kim quit her "job", move to Minnesota (separate from her family, friends, home and life, even though KHump didn't live or work there himself because he was stationed in NY with the Nets), and content herself with only raising babies. Scott may have been a big douche in general, but he never was dumb enough to try and force Kourtney out of her "career", for seemingly no reason other than believing that women should be at home, barefoot and pregnant in a kitchen.
Basically, it was KHump's big mouth that got him divorced. And now he's mad- because for all the whining about being de-frauded, he wanted a chunk of that Kardashian money, and their fame to raise his profile.
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An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.
I think that is the outfit that Kristen Wiig wore for her SNl departure. The only prob that I had with it on Kristen is that she should've worn it in a complementary color. The shade just washes most ppl out against their complexion.
Anyway, I don't doubt this story at all. Nothing surprises me about this vile ass family. The sad part is that no matter how vile and disgusting the details that we keep hearing about them, nothing seems to make them go away! I remember when I was younger, my brother told me that porn stars, try as they might to make it in show biz, never become mainstream. Jenna Jameson tried to do it, Traci Lords, etc. They can't move past that history. Yet, here we have a family that built an empire around it and no one seems to bat an eyelash nor remember what made her so famous. Wtf?
jeebus christmas, i can't even muster up a joke about this useless piece of pampered Paris Hilton side kick hooker anymore... she's just boring. her whole family is boring.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
I wonder if Kanye fucks in ALL CAPS
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Kim's eyes are dead, has no real personality, I think someone in this stupid clan is going to have. Serious breakdown lets hope it is Pimp Mamma and Kim, when Gayfish is finally done with this farce you know the Whoretrashians will be done.
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 06/21/2012 - 11:59am.
Well, there are two reasons for her to look pregnant.
1. She's wearing that dress with the flaps over the stomach just so she WILL look pregnant, and the tabloids will immediately pounce on that.
2. She's doing Golddigger 102, and has pricked holes in the condoms.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by TBH on Thu, 06/21/2012 - 12:04pm.
but she isnt a mother.
she is a pimp, and Kim is her bottom bitch.
just like that South Park epi "butter's bottom bitch"
Would not be surprised at all, these bitches be sick.
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~
hekki - she's completely dead-eyed. no soul, no nothing. i cannot even begin to imagine what a conversation between her and kanye is like.
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watching hardcore ufos
Submitted by lovesmesomeblackdick on Thu, 06/21/2012 - 12:02pm.
Your comment coupled with your screenname made me LMAO. That's all.
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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012
If true that's just nasty. Gross I really hope it's not because I can't believe a mother would watch her daughter have sex and then have her redo it for profit! Ewwwwww.
Ok so I have a MAJOR problem...I actually think Ray J is hot...please help.
She looks pregnant in thumb 2. But also pretty. The head-on shots look like she's a mannequin, but the side shots are very pretty. And she looks very clean and polished.
Anyway, that was my something nice. My other something nice is that I feel a little sorry for her. She seems so empty. Not evil or anything. Just empty.
Kris Humphries is by no means innocent. He figured by marrying into this family, it would raise his profile, which means endorsements, which is how most athletes make their money.
I mean, who cares if you have to marry a whore, Kris...who cares about linking yourself in holy matrimony before God and your family to a soulless whore who doesn't give a fuck (at least, not unless someone's paying her). think of the endorsements! Subway! Hanes undergarments! Buick...
why is kanye dressed like andrew w.k.?
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watching hardcore ufos
P.S. Fucking EWWWWW. About as sexy as Octomom fapping.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Do designers even want her wearing their stuff? She's not exactly Gisele with those MAC truck hips.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 06/21/2012 - 11:40am.
Hey, Mom... does this big black dick in my mouth make my ass look big???
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Lol, jack. Yo, the curvature of the earth makes that bitch's ass look big.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Thu, 06/21/2012 - 11:50am.
Also, isn't Seymour Butts the guy who had the reality show?
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Yup. His whole family was in the business. I found it awkward to watch but very entertaining.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
I heard that Kim prepared for the movie by watching momma kris' porn video with OJ simpson.
thumb #1, observe the waistline that starts right under the breast in the front, dips down to the lower back in the back.
that is a classic illusion dressmakers use to hide a fat tummy.
bitch is porking up, which doesn't make any sense, because I thought her new boo Kanye yelled at her if she ate anything fattening, so she can fit in the "kootoore" in which he's styling her.
Yuk.
Their fame whoring ways truly know no bounds.
PMK would eat shit on national tv if it was gonna pay $1.
Who are the brain dead cunts who watch their shows?
Somebody please get rid of them.
Don't forget also, get your kids to play outside for part of almost everyday.
LOL Seymour butts.
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"I didn't know whether to shit or go blind, so I closed one eye and farted"
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 06/21/2012 - 11:48am.
btw this was the worst porn ever... boring as HELL. Hope she stays out of the production business and leaves it to people like Seymour Butts.
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I saw the beginning of this comment on the main page, and was all ready to bust someone's chops for having watched it. But hey, it's you. I think I'd be worried if you *hadn't*.
Also, isn't Seymour Butts the guy who had the reality show?
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 06/21/2012 - 11:40am.
Hey, Mom... does this big black dick in my mouth make my ass look big???
bahahahaha!!!!
Submitted by ditquoi on Thu, 06/21/2012 - 11:47am.
LOL books encourage the imagination.
btw this was the worst porn ever... boring as HELL. Hope she stays out of the production business and leaves it to people like Seymour Butts.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
and kris humphries was a major idiot for marrying into that family.
like seriously, you have to be an assholeslimy mother fucker to belong there, you gotta be like scott dicksick.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Thu, 06/21/2012 - 11:45am.
the moral of the story is read to your children every day. :D
I guess she should, Kim K. doesnt bother me...but I don't watch her show, buy her magazines, listen to her talk etc. etc. She is gorgeous though.
The only thing that bothers me is THIS is what young girls have to look up to. Let me be pretty and slutty and I can be rich and famous...Instead of read a book, get an education. *le sigh*
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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012
*projectile vomits
Submitted by ditquoi on Thu, 06/21/2012 - 11:43am.
lol on the contrary... i was a book worm, loved books :)
loopyG, you have a vivid imagination. did you watch a lot of TV growing up? LOL :D
OT, but I see a new HSOTD:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=711bZ_pLusQ
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Thu, 06/21/2012 - 11:37am.
Right? I almost heaved typing that.
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"I didn't know whether to shit or go blind, so I closed one eye and farted"
YUCK on the main pic.
sorry to say she looks really pretty in the thumbs...I wore a dress similar to that to my high school graduation (my tits weren't hanging out)
and of course they made that video for marketing purposes. the evidence, and all the evidence you need, is that Kim had her bra on the whole time.