Pimp Mama Kris Directed This Totally Authentic Moment, So Says Kris Humphries

June 21, 2012 / Posted by:

Kris Humphries is currently trying to legally shut his ex-piece, Myla Sinanaj, up, because she’s selling all the text messages he sent her about his fake marriage to Kim Kuntrashian. Myla claims that Kris told her she was the love of his life and he couldn’t wait to get his divorce from Kim out of the way so they could be together. This screws with Kris’ money, because he’s suing Kim for playing with his innocent heart and defrauding him by only using him for a publicity stunt. (Nobody has ever accused Kris Humphries’ caveman shit brain of producing anything but DUHs.)

Most of the shit Myla has been saying about Kris and Kim isn’t that surprising, but nothing is more unsurprising than what he told her about Kim’s sex tape with Ray J. TMZ says that Myla claims Kris told her that whore master Pimp Mama Kris ordered Kim to fuck her way to fame by making that tape with Ray J. The first cut wasn’t good enough for Pimp Mama Kris so she ordered reshoots. Say what you want about Pimp Mama Kris, but she really does care about the cinematic integrity of her daughter’s fuck time tape. TMZ’s source puts it like this:

Kris Humphries trashed Kim Kardashian and her family in conversations and text messages to his former girlfriend, Myla Sinanaj … telling her Kris Jenner not only directed Kim to shoot her sex tape, but to re-shoot because Kris J didn’t think the first one was pretty enough.

A source close to the Kuntrashians (see: Pimp Mama Kris) calls this a lie, but I believe every word of it and no lies are detected. But what gets me is if they did reshoots, what did the first tape look like? I’ve seen more emotion in the faces of the plastic toys my dog humps than I did while watching Kim get her appendix poked out by Ray J’s boomerang dick. Bitch just lays there like a constipated walrus trying to push out a much-needed fart. Maybe Kim was even deader in the first one and it classified as necrophilia porn, so PMK scrapped it. Actually, the second one counts as necrophilia porn too, because PMK sold Kim’s soul to the devil long before that tape was made.

Here’s PMK’s #1 ho and her #2 ho Kanye Kardashian going to some restaurant in Paris yesterday.

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >