Open Post: Co-Hosted By Katie Price And A Horse

June 21, 2012 / Posted by:

Alternate title: Whore on a Horse!

In London today, this generation’s Jane Austen pushed out the 8th novel she totally wrote herself with a French quill feather on hemp paper while sitting under a willow tree in her garden. Katie Price launched the book she didn’t write the same way she launches everything: with a shameless stunt.

While looking like an insane Flamenco dancer from Mars, Katie rode a beautiful beast who can probably write a book by itself before she can. Katie totally thinks she’s a true and professional equestrian, because she can get a horse to rise on its hind legs. No, bitch, that horse was trying to buck you off. Never mind that the pile of caca the horse made backstage is way more interesting than anything in Katie’s novels (I’ve read most of them, I know), bitch is selling this book the wrong way.

Katie doesn’t need to shame a horse or pull out stunts to make her book the #1 best seller in the wooooooorld. Katie just needs to bring out earth angel Harvey Price and tell him to say, “Buy this book.” Amazon would crash from the sales! Every Barnes & Nobels would be looted! Whores would be stabbed for a copy! It would be some 50 Shades of Who? shit.

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