Meredith Vieira Doesn’t Want To Replace Ann Curry

June 21, 2012 / Posted by:

Ann Curry will soon let out her last “good morning, good morning, good morning, everybody, morning” as co-host of Today, because Matt Lauer hates her and he’s hoping that for his next edition of “Where in the World Is Matt?” he’ll report from her vacant office. For months now, there’s been rumors that the producers of Today can’t wait to pink slip Ann, and when Matt resigned, he let them know that he really wants a new co-host. Cut to last night when The New York Times reported that the producers will push Ann out of the anchor chair any day now. They’re hoping to get Ann out before the Olympics start. So your dream of seeing Ann awkwardly say “mmmm hmmmm” next to a topless Michael Phelps has been crushed!

TMZ says that the NBC peacock put on its trench coat, covered its face with a fedora and met Meredith Vieira in a dark alley to offer her the co-anchor job back. Ann got the job a year ago after Meredith quit, because she was sick of waking up at the hour of the ungods and wanted to spend more time with her family. Meredith turned their asses down, but will stay on as a special correspondent.

Since Meredith is over that shit, NBC has put third hour co-host Savannah Guthrie at the top of their list. Some sources say that NBC will make Ann a foreign correspondent since she’s better at reporting from Darfur than asking Kim Kardashian how often she bleaches her asshole hair.

Yeah, Savannah Gurthie is their top choice. They can choose between Savannah, Natalie Mortales and Tamron Hall, and they go with Savannah’s unflavored oatmeal ass? That’s like saying Shelley Hack is your favorite Charlie’s Angel.

Watching Ann interview guests during a fluff piece is about as pleasant as having butt sex with a cactus, but she’s not the main problem. I watch that mess every day and every day they show me a viral video I watched three weeks ago, show me how to make a salad, show me the latest summer trends in white capris and force feed me Star Jones’ opinion on stupid shit. So yeah, what I’m saying is that it’s Star Jones’ fault. BLAME STAR JONES.

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