And All He Got Was A Rock

June 20, 2012 / Posted by:

Yes, that is two dozen holes away from being some Charlie Brown shit.

Yesterday, the latest battle in Alec Baldwin’s war against the paparazzi went down after a NYDN photographer took pictures of him and his fiancee strolling out of the Marriage License Bureau in Manhattan. Alec raged so hard at that trick, that the pap’s face contorted into an expression I like to call herp derp fraidiness. Alec is a melodramatic theatrical queen, so he continued to play with the paparazzi by wearing a masterful disguise while leaving a building yesterday afternoon. You know, because nothing will throw the paparazzi off like looking like a cone-less KKK member or Pac-Man’s lunch.

After the Scooby Doo gang ruined Alec’s disguise by lifting that blanket up, he went on CBS This Morning to talk about his smack down with the paps. The pap filed a police report, because he claims Alec fisted him in the chin. Alec is crazier than a bat enema, but he says he’s not stupid enough to punch out a photographer.

“People think I’m out there just decking photographers willy-nilly, nothing could be further from the truth.”

Remember when Alec called Mike Walker a “goat-footed, wheezy, old queen”? And now he’s using the phrase, “willy-nilly”? When are we going to find out that Alec Baldwin is really Hetty King from Avonlea in an Alec Baldwin disguise?

By the way, my favorite part of these pictures is the old lady watching Alec. Since it’s summer and a hot wet fart bubble has covered the city, every memaw will be sitting outside of her apartment building, because her A/C broke and she’s not trying to have it fixed. That’s why I feel safer in the summertimes, because I know that a nosy old lady is watching every move, every ho makes in public. A NYC memaw sees all!

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