Open Post: Hosted By Cholo Fez

Today’s “no puedo” moment is brought to you by a cholofied Wilmer Valderrama.

We’re living in a bizarre world, because somebody fronted the money for a movie called “School Dance” directed by Mimi’s husband Nick Cannon and starring Wilmer Valderrama as a vato, Efren Ramirez and Amber Rose as some kind of bald-headed rockabilly skank. The hell is that movie? I don’t even know…. This is either a comedy or an insurance scam. Fez as a cholo is almost as ridiculous as Kelso as a skinhead. Sure, Wilmer sort of looks the part, but if he pointed a gun at you, you’d probably swat it away and say, “Bitch, quit playing. You’re Fez! Now roll your socks down. You look like Little Lord Fauntleroy.” I mean, just imagine hearing Fez say, “Orale vato.” My ears are already laughing.

And I’m trying to come up with Fez’s cholo name. But I’m having a really hard time translating “Disney cooch hunter” into a cholo name.