Radar said last week that the Willis Daughters were sprouting eyes of worry over their mom Demi Moore possibly falling off the wagon and spending her nights huffing spray paint fumes out of a paper bag in front of a 7-Eleven with a bunch of skater boys (or whatever kind of suburban teen bad shit Demi gets into nowadays). But even if Demi stumbles while climbing the steps to sobriety, at least she’ll fall cougar pussy-first onto Joe ManJello’s wolf dick. That’s if you believe Heat Magazine (via The Daily Mail).
Some source type says that at the after-party for That’s My Boy (or as everyone who sees that shit calls it, “Why didn’t I just let a 45-year-old frat boy fart up my nostrils. It would’ve been a more pleasant experience.”) earlier this month, 35-year-old Joe and 49-year-old Demi hung out together and had amazing chemistry, whatever the hell that means:
“They looked amazing together. Demi was getting a lot more attention than a lot of the younger girls in the room, and Joe was seen waiting for her before they went off and hung out together at the party. They had amazing chemistry.
Demi has finally got her groove back – and it’s all thanks to meeting Joe. She’s feeling confident again and, more importantly, sexy.”
I’m guessing by “had amazing chemistry,” the source means that Joe ManJello sat there feeling scared and uncomfortable while Demi Moore tried to seduce his peen with her piping hot “funky chicken having a seizure while butt birthing an egg” moves.
I know, that story sounds like a non-story and for my no-no’s sake I hope it is. How can I fap to Joe ManJello knowing that he’s licking the douche dust left by Ashton Kutcher off of Demi’s cougar cooch? Okay, I still can, but I don’t want to.