Angie Jolie As Maleficent
Here's ice cold villainess Angie Jolie with swap meet contacts on her eyes and leather dildos on her head (missing: a Kardashian sucking one of those things off) in the first picture of her as ice cold villainess Maleficent. Maleficent doesn't come out for another million years (March 14, 2014 to be exact), but the paparazzi have been stalking the set in England, so I'm guessing Disney pushed this picture out before they get scooped. That's why it looks like it was taken in the dark part of her dungeon by Maddox on an iPhone with a broken flash. It's kind of giving me Paula Abdul in Rush Rush vibes. Disney also queefed out this statement with the picture:
Directed by two-time Oscar®-winning production designer Robert Stromberg (“Avatar,” “Alice in Wonderland”), in his directorial debut, and produced by Joe Roth, “Maleficent” is written by Linda Woolverton (“The Lion King,” “Beauty and the Beast”) and executive produced by Angelina Jolie, Don Hahn, Matt Smith and Palak Patel.
Co-starring in the film are Sharlto Copley (“District 9”), Elle Fanning (“Super 8”), Sam Riley (“On the Road”), Imelda Staunton (“Vera Drake”), Miranda Richardson (“The Hours”), Juno Temple (“Atonement”) and Lesley Manville (“Secrets & Lies”).
This is the untold story of Disney’s most beloved villain, Maleficent, from the 1959 classic “Sleeping Beauty.” The film reveals the events that hardened her heart and drove her to curse the baby, Aurora.
I really hope the costume designers don't cover up the most terrifying thing on Angie Jolie (no, not her hypnotic vagina): her loch ness forehead vein! They should use her forehead vein to their advantage, because it has a life of its own and really makes scared hos reach for the holy water.
And I do love the "Are you there God? It's me, your DIRECT supervisor" pose. Click here to see a bigger version of this shit.
via Coming Soon
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Next: from the point of view of the poisoned apple, out April 2015!
... I was about to say Mirror, mirror, but that's already been made... lol
James Haven, you were born to play ANGELINA!
SUPERSTAR!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░
This has flop written all over it.
Jolie's last good film was............ um .............................. ????????????????????????????????
She has never been in anything decent.
If they filmed it doco style it could be ok, you know just walking around the house in that getup, bossing the kids around and having them sew her clothes.
Submitted by salacious on Wed, 06/20/2012 - 2:05am.
lmao :-D moderators done checked you, boo?
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
The James Haven is a funny mofo. Stole his Carrie Underwood CD! *snort*
edit: I wonder what ever happened to the "boot moves" and "toilet bats" poster?
Submitted by James Haven on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 11:51pm.
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I feel sorry for you Jamie but not all hope is lost. Your sis cannot take on a physically demanding role because of the heroin she loves so much, and body and stunt doubles will be needed for sure. :D
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Why oh why won't loons let me be great? Another round began and I hate having to sit it out. :'(
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Great...Beowulf 2: Grendel's Mom. That carp-mouthed harridan is going to rape my childhood! She doesn't even resemble the damn character. She's got a lantern jaw while the Maleficent we all know and love has fine, angular features. When I think of the scores of talented unknowns who LOOK the part that the producers could have chosen from instead...I just...ARGHHHH! Fuck you Hollywood.
Maleficent was bad ass in Kingdom Hearts haha
James Haven is furious that Angie stole this part away from him! Yes, stole! Everyone knows James Haven was born to play Maleficent (just look at his cheekbones! James Haven brought the script home and was going over his lines with Angie. The very next day, James Haven was told the part of Maleficent was already taken! What the??!!!
James Haven knew only one other person wanted that role as bad as he and ran to his closet to find the velvet gown he was supposed to wear to his screen test, was gone!
Angie begged James Haven for forgiveness but this is too much for James Haven to bear. Through the years Angie has stolen James Haven's lunch, pencils, bicycle, records, sneakers, underwear, gum, wallet, birthday presents, class ring, Mary Kay Kit, People Magazine, Carrie Underwood CD and James Haven's first girlfriend but nothing could be bad as stealing the role he was born to play!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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"The film reveals the events that hardened her heart and drove her to curse the baby, Aurora."
SO they basically took the book "Wicked" and instead of a glittery musical they turned it into a serious film (because that it what should have happened, "Wicked" was dark, I have never seen the musical so maybe I'm wrong, but as I was reading it I was seeing a woman trapped in an absurd reality who ends up working as terrorist on the fringe of a secret organization only to realize that she is not the good guy she is in fact the infidel and a patsy and became the enemy out of lies, bad press and bad association... Broadway musical way pretty far from the direction I thought it would go. I guess the problems are that the characters aren't attractive enough... the good guys are ugly; girls with green skin or are Goats or midgets - the bad guys are attractive and dumb. Same reason Geek Love will never be a film - the main characters are hideous, and people without perfect skin are generally either Oscar gold or poison.
Submitted by doncorleone on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 10:37pm.
Finally, a role in Angie plays herself.
Pretty sure she played herself in Girl Interrupted as well; but evidently she required more makeup and costume work for that role than she does for this one...
Finally, a role in Angie plays herself. She will probably fuck this film up like all her other ones. It's like she gets up everyday and thinks:"how can I be even MORE popular? I know Ill play an anorexic, heroin shooting, adopting baby maniac while at the same time carry around the balls of all the men in my life while waiting with a fucking smug look on my face waiting for my next Oscar." Fuck this bitch, shes everywhere which means only one thing: WELCOME TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:
Submitted by salacious on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 10:25pm.
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 10:16pm.
Where the hell did Whamo go?
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He might be foolin' around with Fury, for all we know. Cheaters.
* calls Joey Greco *
^^^^^^^^^^
She's probably passed out from boxed vino by now. She a cheap date.
And on that note, time to hit the hay. Be careful out there, Sal. The JJ loons are ontaya.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 10:16pm.
Where the hell did Whamo go?
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He might be foolin' around with Fury, for all we know. Cheaters.
* calls Joey Greco *
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Submitted by salacious on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 10:22pm.
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 10:05pm.
Submitted by salacious on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 10:04pm.
I just posted but my fart's just not in it tonight.
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Doggy! Your best bet would be to try through a web proxy. Fucking evil loons do it so why shouldn't you?
^^^^^^^^^
I hazn't been banned yet.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 10:05pm.
Submitted by salacious on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 10:04pm.
I just posted but my fart's just not in it tonight.
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Doggy! Your best bet would be to try through a web proxy. Fucking evil loons do it so why shouldn't you?
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Where the hell did Whamo go?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 4:45pm.
Welcome to the Loon Busting Hall of Fame.
*Hands Tam Jennifer's bronzed old nose and a Angie's gold plated syrynge*
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Such an honor! OMG, I'm sooo in love with my sister right now! Where is she? I need to make out with her right now in Angie's honor.
Getting me banned is bullshit when loons get away with insulting Jared. There were a couple of articles in which he mentioned something about "anonymous sources". That drove some loons crazy, so they called him a liar and claimed that he got the scoop from them. I keep telling them to stop biting the hand that feeds them.
I think that the reason they hate me the most is because I've called them out on their IP-hopping, alt-changing, thumb-down fuckery. I think most of them are tech savvy enough to do it.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Submitted by salacious on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 10:04pm.
I just posted but my fart's just not in it tonight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 4:49pm.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 3:51pm.
Submitted by salacious on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 2:29pm.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 2:16pm.
ETA: whamo it may be on both sides, not just you -- "Cesar" and other regular loons were whining about being in moderation. i had a comment moderated out last week, but got it in verbatim the next day
==================================
Really! he's moding loons too!!! WOW. He;s actually been good for the last while, it was really only when I started back up again.
You TOO have earned your Bronzed Jen's old nose and the Golden Syringe award.
I feel so proud of you guys
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I am too Whamo. You guys were hilarious.
I think I got banned though. I posted a comment and it would not show up. They have it out for me today. You can be put in moderation for using certain vocabulary, but I was pretty careful. I think it only takes for one user to flag a comment that they dislike. What a joke, loons get away with saying all that hateful shit, and I don't get to call them out on it.
Right now Crabby is on his/her own but s/he is doing great. So much hilarious stuff posted today. I wouldn't be surprised if they ask the mods to remove the whole comment section.
Megatit's vial throwing and Rascal's booger flipping in the end had me in tears.
I guess I'll be watching from the sidelines for a while. :'(
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Darn, I was really hoping someone else would take on the role. I can't stand this cunt.
I'm sure she'll do just fine in the role, seeing as she's actually playing...herself.
_______________________________________________
"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
Hasn't this already been done?
http://img685.imageshack.us/img685/3125/gagaangelina600x298.jpg
Please people wait until it gets to the discount theaters before you take your kids to see this!!!
=======================================
...the end
YES!! This role was tailor made for Jolie! Tailor. Made.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 3:51pm.
Submitted by salacious on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 2:29pm.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 2:16pm.
ETA: whamo it may be on both sides, not just you -- "Cesar" and other regular loons were whining about being in moderation. i had a comment moderated out last week, but got it in verbatim the next day
==================================
Really! he's moding loons too!!! WOW. He;s actually been good for the last while, it was really only when I started back up again.
You TOO have earned your Bronzed Jen's old nose and the Golden Syringe award.
I feel so proud of you guys
Those veins in the arms and forehead are enough to scare anyone without having a costume on.
Submitted by salacious on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 3:46pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 2:54pm.
===============================================
Don't you find since you've been going after the loons you have no time for anyone that tries to say something nice about Heroina? I have a buddy that likes her and I fuck with him all the time now. lol!
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HA! I thought I was the only one. Yep, my anti-loon stance has transcended the virtual world.
By the way, have you gotten banned yet? They're putting me in moderation for no reason . WTF!
Some of the mods are in cahoots with the loons, or loons themselves have moderation access. I got reported for nothing. Is Jared himself that biased? He said he was neutral, but I don't know.
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I don't know how or why but I'm really supprised you're not banned already! LOL! I think if you get moded if you really start getting pissed off and angrily going after someone specifically. If you really start going off one some one I found they Mod you.
The other thing you get modded for is cutting up the site and telling them they are losers for going to JJ. It's the dudes bread an butter so if he thinks you're actually trashing the site to the point he might loses some loons they'll mos you.
I was moded a lot at first when we all started going over there, I'm sure I was on the "hot" list when I started up on them again. For a year a year or so it was really only me and one or two other people against the lot of em so my name stood out right off the bat when I went back.
While I was banned it was 9 months after my ban and I'd still read them talking about how much they hated me.
You my friend have done very well in your own right and have definatley earned your anti-loon stipes, I tip my hat to your tenacity and ill will:)
Welcome to the Loon Busting Hall of Fame.
*Hands Tam Jennifer's bronzed old nose and a Angie's gold plated syrynge*
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 2:57pm.
OMG, I totally forgot about The Vein. *adds it to the list of things I can tweak the Loons about later*
I usually harp on the heroin and Brad cheating. And "charity begins at home". But The Leg and The Vein are good, too.
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LOL you must be one on those Jen hags that spends all day ranting about Jolie on the FF board!
Oops.
What is Chicken looking at?? Billy Bob or Jenny Shimizu?
I see chicken leg grew out her horns a bit for the part. I hope they find a way to show off that emaciated twig she calls a leg.
sal - I just have to tell you again, for the umpteenth time how much I love your avvie.
Submitted by salacious on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 2:29pm.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 2:16pm.
hey, Sal. i dropped my payload about an hour ago, lol. last nite was fun for me too. thought they'd come after me when i put up that wrong link (i.e. hahahahahaha your broke hahahahaha") but those people are such idiots they didn't even pick up on that opportunity to put me on my heels for just a second ;-D
have to get to work, will be back there later. whomever Swoonworthy is, bravo brava! and whomever dropped that "yaki wig" comment, i must bow down to you
have fun, y'all!
ETA: whamo it may be on both sides, not just you -- "Cesar" and other regular loons were whining about being in moderation. i had a comment moderated out last week, but got it in verbatim the next day
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 2:54pm.
===============================================
Don't you find since you've been going after the loons you have no time for anyone that tries to say something nice about Heroina? I have a buddy that likes her and I fuck with him all the time now. lol!
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HA! I thought I was the only one. Yep, my anti-loon stance has transcended the virtual world.
By the way, have you gotten banned yet? They're putting me in moderation for no reason . WTF!
Some of the mods are in cahoots with the loons, or loons themselves have moderation access. I got reported for nothing. Is Jared himself that biased? He said he was neutral, but I don't know.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Submitted by Michael K on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 1:11pm.
I was going to mention this shit in my post, but I forgot. Just Jared should've played Maleficent instead:
===================================
WOW..two personal comments in one day, are you already hammered MK!?
You better be careful MK, you don't want to puke on the back of your boyfriend's neck later:P
*sigh* I already know I'm going to see this.
***********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Whamo: Well, the only person I argue with is Mr. Hekki and he hates Angelina already. I don't argue with anyone else IRL.
However, I came upon a thread on Gawker or Jez and there was a Loon on it!! I cackled like crazy because its comments were relentless and it took time to respond to each comment that wasn't a glowing endorsement of Brangelina.
Submitted by Michael K on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 1:11pm.
Haha MK!! I had no idea (or desire to know) what JJared looked like.
Is the bump in her nose a prosthetic? Obviously the horns and the razor sharp cheek bones are all hers.
OMG, I totally forgot about The Vein. *adds it to the list of things I can tweak the Loons about later*
I usually harp on the heroin and Brad cheating. And "charity begins at home". But The Leg and The Vein are good, too.
Jolie was the obvious choice, since they didn't need to apply any prosthetics in her cheeks.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Submitted by salacious on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 2:34pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 11:52am.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 2:19pm.
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 1:48pm.
===============================================
Don't you find since you've been going after the loons you have no time for anyone that tries to say something nice about Heroina? I have a buddy that likes her and I fuck with him all the time now. lol!
That's a HOT photo.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 11:52am.
Heroina playing and ice cold cunty cuntress really..what stench..I mean stretch.
Like Cookie says...I can see Brad hopping around behind her with a hump and those leather shoes with curled toe saying yesss master (except with a high voice because he's neutered)
all the while eating bugs and shit ( ya I know that's another character but you get my drift)
---
Whamo, as I just said over at JJ: It's a real life villain playing a fairytale villain.
Now those poor Benetton kids have an excuse to never have friends and be forever isolated from the rest of the world. Can you imagine, no other kid will ever want to play with them if they know that she's their mom.
Are you there yet? :D
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Well, at least she won't have to act for this role. Oh, wait. . . she can't act even when she wants to.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 2:16pm.
Foxxy, why aren't you there yet? I was loving your comments last night! The links you posted, and the last one about how they manipulate the thumbs up system really drove crazier, if that's even possible. XD
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Submitted by Versailles on Tue, 06/19/2012 - 2:16pm.
all the vowels are short:
mal-e-fi-cent
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/maleficent
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz