The scent of burnt turtle anus and melted plastic eyeglass frames was in the air yesterday when Mia Farrow re-tweeted the third-degree burn Ronan Farrow dropped on his dad Woody Allen. This shit is more awkward than the Father’s Day lap dance Courtney Stodden gave to Doug Hutchison.
There you were thinking that your relationship with your biological father is so damn dysfunctional that instead of sending him a card yesterday, you sent him an invoice for all the booze you sucked down throughout the year to deal with all your daddy issues. Ronan has you beat! Ronan Farrow is like the smartest person alive, graduated from college at 15, works with UNICEF, inherited more Mia genes than Woody genes and he can drop kick some shade for days. I would say I’m in love, but I don’t know if I can fall in love with a dude whose full name is Satchel Ronan O’Sullivan Farrow.
And here’s a few pictures of Satchel’s brother-in-law hanging out with Soon-Yi and their two daughters in Beverly Hills the other day. I don’t if it’s the creepy look on Woody’s face or the “Bitch, you’re going to die” shank eye the Heather Matarazzo-looking one is throwing at us, but these pictures make me want to scream for an adult.