Lindsay Lohan Makes Jokes About Taking The Most Melodramatic Nap Ever
My thoughts are with that pillow who had to take in Lindsay Lohan's coke fart.
Anyway, as J. Harvey wrote about yesterday while my ass was away for a second, White Oprah nearly spit up Bloody Mary (and it takes a lot for her to spit booze out) when ABC News said that LiLo was rushed to the hospital unconscious and would probably be entering the 27 Club early. But because LiLo can't do anything without being EXTRA dramatic about it, she was just "exhausted" and was knocked into a deep sleep. Eating Ambien and gin stew for breakfast will do that to a ho. LiLo was back to work on Lifetime's Lezzie Dick yesterday and the lazy bitch took a second from her OMGSOEXHAUSTING schedule to laugh about oversleeping on Twitter:
Note to self.. After working 85hours in 4days, and being up all night shooting, be very aware that you might pass out from exhaustion & 7 paramedics MIGHT show up @ your door.... Hopefully theyre cute. Otherwise it would be a real let down. XL @mrsalperez -back on set
Notice how her ass didn't specify what exactly she was shooting all night. Well played, LiLo.
LiLo hasn't worked 85 hours TOTAL since her Mean Girls days, so I can understand how sitting in her trailer for hours, waiting to say a few lines would have that effect on her delicate body. Emergency room nurses, doctors, single parents working 3 jobs, social workers, teachers, soldiers and everybody else working until their eyelids fall off should stop bitching about being tired, because Lindsay Lohan is REALLY the one suffering here. LiLo should receive sainthood for working herself into exhaustion and doing it all in the name of a basic cable movie. A true hero.
And that ends the latest LiLo drama. Until next time when one of her assistants calls 911 after he hears her making constipation moans in the locked bathroom and thinks she's having seizure.
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Submitted by Night Owl on Sun, 06/17/2012 - 12:24am.
Do people watch Lifetime movies anymore? I like some of the older cheezy ones but I don't think the ratings will be that good for this. Seems like a step down from doing movies.
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you need to see "untouchable" with rob lowe as drew peterson. he's downright fucking creepster. it's good.
Submitted by mike on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 6:33pm.
What happened is that she overdid it with the prescription meds (someone's prescription, anyway). When using a lot of those drugs recreationally, it's easy to go overboard.
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my theory exactly. yeah i think she has a personality disorder but i dont think it came into play as much here as pills did. especially when you start to build a large tolerance to said pills. TRUST.
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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK
Submitted by loopygorilla on Sun, 06/17/2012 - 1:32am.
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPY! *smothers with ginormous ass and tits and makes you glad you're gay*
How you doing, sweet cheeks? *pokes finger in your butt* haha
More like 85 hours of sitting in the make-up chair. I call bullshit. Robin Williams spent an exhaustive amount of time doing make-up and latex for "Mrs. Doubtfire" as did Eddie Murphy for his many roles in "Doctor Dolittle".
I haz late night upwake.
85 hours?!!!! gees bitch, how many dicks did you suck in that time.
i would be exhausted too like Hohan, if I spent 85 hours sucking on dicks and digitally fondled (legal speak for "fingered") in exchange for coke.
Please, someone, anyone...BURN THAT BED.
@LAXpat,
That was a great read! Thanks for sharing, so much more informative than "the media". And thanks for the questions, Atomic--my sluggish brain appreciates your inquisitive nature. Plus I'm on a kindle, which, you know… :^/
Submitted by AtomicCity on Sun, 06/17/2012 - 12:29am.
Yer welcome! :-)
Yeah, some people are pretty messed up. It's narcissism, really.
Remember when Lohan was ordered to UCLA neuropsych and the doctors discharged her early, saying she's not an addict? Soooo many people went absolutely nuts over that, blasting the docs and all...
Truth is, UCLA got it right. What they said was she's not an addict, she has a *personality disorder*. People with personality disorders turn neuropsych wards/rehab facilities *upside down*, impairing the recovery of other patients (which is what UCLA reported Lohan as doing). Sometimes these people will actually have "DNA" on their chart, meaning "Do Not Admit", because they can't be helped and will only cause chaos and drain resources (I wouldn't be surprised if DNA is on Lohan's chart at UCLA neuropsych).
Lohan uses and abuses, but she's no addict. As UCLA discovered, she can function just fine without the "good shit". She continues to use because she wants to, and because she's gonna show everyone that if she wants to party, no one's gonna stop her.
So when I saw this story about her being "unresponsive" and all, I laughed. The way it went down (as I read here and on TMZ) was classic drama-queen-faker-who-doesn't-want-to-go-to-work. They called her bluff by calling 911, but she can't fool LAFD medics.
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"Support your local Search and Rescue team: Get lost."
Thanks LAX.
"It's not that medical intervention is actually *needed*, it's simply that if 911 is called with a report of a person who is unresponsive, a team will be dispatched to the scene."
Yeah, I completely phrased that incorrectly. I didn't mean to imply that medical help is actually needed, but I think you got the gist of it. And answered all of my questions, so thanks. I guess they're pretty self-explanatory. And now that I think of it I can definitely imagine some of my clients doing something of this nature. In fact, I'd be surprised if several of them haven't already. I guess I was wondering more about the individuals who allow it to escalate to the point that you have to resort to your bag of tricks. At what point do they just sit up and say, "You know what, I'm totally fine. Sorry for any trouble I've caused." Or do they keep up with it until you pinch the bejeebers out of them and act like that is what caused their sudden awareness? Or do they feign complete ignorance and try to convince you that they have NO idea what happened?
Don't feel compelled to answer again. I'm just really baffled by this type of behavior (I'd think that eventually I'd become un-baffle-able in regards to behaviors, but no such luck yet).
ETA: FWIW I truly respect those who work as first responders, EMTs, medical personnel, 911 admins and so on. I know it is usually physically and emotionally taxing and often thankless. So thanks.
"A candle loses nothing of its light by lighting another candle."--catholicschoolgirl
Do people watch Lifetime movies anymore? I like some of the older cheezy ones but I don't think the ratings will be that good for this. Seems like a step down from doing movies.
Submitted by AtomicCity on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 11:36pm.
LAXpat, do people seriously fake being unresponsive to the point that medical intervention is needed? Who does that, people who are starved for attention or just nuts? Is it a common occurence?
It's not that medical intervention is actually *needed*, it's simply that if 911 is called with a report of a person who is unresponsive, a team will be dispatched to the scene.
Who does it? Drama queens, those with personality disorders, etc. It'll happen at parties of young people (late teens/20's in particular) where a drama queen (usually female, unfortunately) decides to "act up" and it scares the others. Since they're young and inexperienced, as well as have impaired judgment due to drinking (not to mention it can be really scary if you think your friend is unconscious/"dying"), someone will pick up the phone and call 911.
There are elderly who do this sort of thing, too. Sometimes with elderly people it's because of cognitive impairment, but sometimes, just like there are young drama queens, there are elderly drama queens.
The elderly ones often end up getting transported to the hospital and get a bunch of tests--they're the expensive ones. The younger drama queens/fakers don't usually end up going to the hospital (they just want to be "on stage" for a little while, and the one "everyone's talking about" for a few days).
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"Support your local Search and Rescue team: Get lost."
LOL! Co-sign to what Miz Cynical said. Where is Conrad Murray when you need him?
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Submitted by miz cynical on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 5:34pm.
It's a shame that she didn't have somed studio assistant that was of the mindset of Michael Jackson's doctor. I.E. - checked to see if she would respond after the first attempt, make some phone calls, take a dump in her nice bathroom, check their watch and then moved the fuck on. Why is it so hard to find good help? ;)
Submitted by TrashyWilma on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 4:16pm.
I wonder if Lohan was making a pathetic attempt to kill herself?
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Naw, I think she's trying to wait until she turns 27.
I would never give Lifetime the pleasure of watching this shit storm the first time and giving it high ratings. I'll just catch it one of the bajillion times Lifetime will air it until the end of time.
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"off brand work out sneakers"?
Ninja if I want to wear Spalding’s, ProWings, and Bobos to the gym, that's my damn business.
Bitch, I'm working out... Not doing daily cunt-nastics via Twitter.”
Submitted by Mani6 on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 11:26pm.
I've seen one truly unresponsive patient in ER and really it took one IV of narcane and that patient awoke in about 30 seconds and was clearly not a happy camper after that.
Yeah, narcan has that effect with opiate overdoses. Pretty amazing, huh?
Not sure I'd be a happy camper either, if I were suddenly "knocked conscious" out of an opiate "nirvana". It's like being hit with a sledgehammer. But at least it brings them back.
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"Support your local Search and Rescue team: Get lost."
LAXpat, do people seriously fake being unresponsive to the point that medical intervention is needed? Who does that, people who are starved for attention or just nuts? Is it a common occurence?
I honestly cannot wrap my brain around the idea of doing something so irresponsible as completely wasting the time of first responders, 911 operators and other administrators/personnel. I do hope they are charged for the completely unnecessary services rendered. Can charges be pressed? This is seriously nuts.
"A candle loses nothing of its light by lighting another candle."--catholicschoolgirl
I won't even mention the mis-match panty-bra color thing she's down with. No.
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Right??? WTH? BEIGE Underwear?
Gee-Ross!
21+ hours a day? Not buying it
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It is *so* stupid, I can't stop chuckling at the crazy bitch.
Twenty. One. Hours. Each. Day. For. Four. Days...
HAHAHAHAHA!!
It's Lindsday fucking Blohan!
Someone needs to call 911 on that lamp in the corner of that goddamn hotel room, fk Blo whatever she's doing. And I won't even mention the mis-match panty-bra color thing she's down with. No.
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP MCA, "no sleep til Brooklyn") *caprica six was/is here*
Submitted by LAXpat on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 8:02pm.
I've seen one truly unresponsive patient in ER and really it took one IV of narcane and that patient awoke in about 30 seconds and was clearly not a happy camper after that.
Submitted by yolie on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 6:18pm.
Too much Ambien. And alcohol.
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What you meant to say was not enough Ambien and alcohol.
....right?
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 5:46pm.
When Anna Nicole Smith died I remember first seeing the update on the AOL welcome Screen as saying "Anna Nicole Smith was found unresponsive in her hotel room" And then later it was updated that she died.
Lindsay Lohan is a piece of trash. It's too bad they didn't let her "sleep" a little while longer before calling the paramedics.
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oooo good point. she's lucky she had people checking on her 24/7
Fuck off and DIE Blohan. Pathalogical liar who's so fucking spoiled that her daily bullshit inconveniences the lives of others and she just acts like nothing. I know it's mean to wish death on someone but....
I love how she's so casual about it, just another average day in the life of Lindsey Lohan.......
Submitted by LAXpat on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 8:02pm. ...
No hot oil? Dang it! :-P
That's amazing, LAXpat. I've known a few EMTs and have heard some crazy stories, but none of them involved someone who was putting on a big possum show. (Y'all are familiar with that phrase, right? "Playing possum" = unconscious, unresponsive)
True, though--no conscious person will let their own hand drop down into their face. I hadn't thought of that one.
Submitted by yolie on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 6:18pm.
Too much Ambien. And alcohol.
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Bingo. You don't "pass out" from being tired to the point that you're totally unconscious. Pharmaceuticals or alcohol have to be involved.
I don't recall ever thinking I should call 911 to wake one of my teenage kids who might be a little slow getting out bed to go to school.
But damn, that may work!
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Why not tell the truth about your 85 hours was as linda lovelace since its hard for you to get outta character, you great actress you!
Submitted by quickkill on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 8:39pm.
Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen should just get into a car, drive off into the desert, and never return...
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They can hurry and pick up Justin and Jennifer at the Vatican on the way. Angie and Brad would have a telethon for them. It would be great.
http://popslave.tumblr.com/
Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen should just get into a car, drive off into the desert, and never return...
Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen should just get into a car, drive off into the desert, and never return...
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 4:23pm.
Yeah well, that's what happens when you spend all night blowing hotel moguls for drug money.
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*looks in crystal ball after "Lez Dick" comback 'success'...
Ok, so she's blowing the night clerk at a Motel 6 for gas money and a half used bag of bath salts...er, I mean 'sea jasper'...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
@Lucifer and MrrKat:
No, no hot oil, lol--though it can be tempting! ;-)
As medics, we're authorized (in such situations) to pinch, "yell" in one's ear, shine (very) bright lights in the eye (at close range), and use ammonia inhalants. I've seen over-the-counter inhalants before, but the ones that only certified/licensed EMS personnel are allowed to use are *extremely* potent (as in, exposure for more than a couple of seconds could cause harm).
"Tricks" that we also use include bullshitting about having to use drugs involving needles (or some other highly displeasurable procedure) and blowing/tickling in the ear, to name a couple.
One that works really well is if the patient is on his/her back, you lift one of his/her hands by the wrist, hold it above the face, and then let go. In a truly unresponsive patient (or a tenacious faker), the hand will simply fall directly onto the person's face as dead-weight. Most fakers, however, will move the hand so it lands on the chest, at which point we'll start bullshitting about having to administer injections, etc.
Usually we employ our "tricks" before we start pinching or whatever. If a faker gets us to the point of having to yell or pinch, it's gonna hurt, because by then we're pissed off because our time is being wasted on drama-queen bullshit.
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"Support your local Search and Rescue team: Get lost."
Submitted by LAXpat on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 6:51pm.
This bitch wasn't clinically unresponsive. She just didn't want to get out of bed, didn't feel like "working" that day.
I was a medic. We see "unresponsive" fakers all the time...can spot 'em from a mile away. And we have specific techniques (and tricks) that we use to determine/confirm fakers. Lindsay is a textbook faker-type.
Ooooh, do tell! :-)
A person has to have serious emotional problems to pull that kind of bullshit. It's less trouble just to get out of bed, go to work, have your sucky day, and get it over with. But not for someone [cough--Lilo--coughcough] who thinks the sun rises & sets around her asshole.
Submitted by LAXpat on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 6:51pm.
I was a medic. We see "unresponsive" fakers all the time...can spot 'em from a mile away. And we have specific techniques (and tricks) that we use to determine/confirm fakers.
Do these techniques involve pouring boiling hot oil on their faces
I would rather eat a peanut that's been stuck on the wheel of the janitor's cart than see ANYTHING she's in. Please. Just go the fuck away.
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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"
Submitted by mike on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 6:33pm.
What happened is that she overdid it with the prescription meds (someone's prescription, anyway).
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BINGO.
This bitch wasn't clinically unresponsive. She just didn't want to get out of bed, didn't feel like "working" that day.
I was a medic. We see "unresponsive" fakers all the time...can spot 'em from a mile away. And we have specific techniques (and tricks) that we use to determine/confirm fakers. Lindsay is a textbook faker-type.
She's a spoiled, oppositional brat who won't be told what to do ("I don't wanna and you can't make me"). My guess is that Lifetime put Lindsay up in the Ritz nearby in an attempt to get her to an early morning call as close to on time as possible (and with minimal drama). Then she pulled this stunt because, well, "I don't wanna and you can't make me". Didn't work. If you're not truly unresponsive, believe me, we medics will get a response outta you...and you won't like how!
Lindsay ain't dying any time soon. She's fine. These types stick around *forever*.
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"Support your local Search and Rescue team: Get lost."
I hope taxpayers don't have to pay for her paramedic bill. I doubt she can even though she is "working". Just throw it on the stack of bills she's racked up by being a self-entitled fuck up.
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What is her problem? She's just laying there...
What happened is that she overdid it with the prescription meds (someone's prescription, anyway). When using a lot of those drugs recreationally, it's easy to go overboard.
Too much Ambien. And alcohol.
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Damn! Nice hooker shoes, baby. Can you dance in those things?
Daddy Spears
This bitch. She probably OD'ed and died, but Satan refused let her in so she sent her back up to earth.
We're stuck with her for a long time.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
when I was her age, I stayed up all night all the fucking time, never passed out.what an asshole.
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"I didn't know whether to shit or go blind, so I closed one eye and farted"
does she even have enough cash to buy enough of the bad stuff to OD? maybe the only reason we're stuck with her is she can only buy enough to keep her high at one time?
Submitted by Margo on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 5:50pm.
I would like to visit Cocaine Island! *raising hand*
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LOL!
I would like to visit Cocaine Island! *raising hand*
Listen, I'm an insomniac and I've not slept for a few days before- it never caused me to become unresponsive. Deeply asleep but a private doctor inspected her first! Before the paramedics.
When Anna Nicole Smith died I remember first seeing the update on the AOL welcome Screen as saying "Anna Nicole Smith was found unresponsive in her hotel room" And then later it was updated that she died.
Lindsay Lohan is a piece of trash. It's too bad they didn't let her "sleep" a little while longer before calling the paramedics.
What kylimarow and a few others have said - that's exactly the way tv/movie sets work. Ever hear of hurrying up and wait? Perfect for what its like on a set. She doesn't even get off her ass until everything is perfect. She says two lines and then more downtime. And like everyone else is saying, this is fucking Lifetime! Shouldn't this shit be dome already. Again, every movie that I've seen on their network looks like it was filmed over the course of a long weekend in either Vancouver, Toronto or Montreal. What the fuck is taking so long?
Shooting... My thoughts EXACTLY.
What galls me is that even if this movie suck total a**, Lifetime will make millions because millions will tune in to watch how much it sucks a**. They win no matter what. The only hope we have is that she will be so awful, no one else will hire her again.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by SalmaNella on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 4:13pm.
The Blohan media saturation level has reached its peak. I'm at the point where I just want this bitch to disappear to Cocaine Island permanently.
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Perhaps the good citizens of the D could chip in and buy her a one way ticket? How many 8 balls would it take?
It's a shame that she didn't have somed studio assistant that was of the mindset of Michael Jackson's doctor. I.E. - checked to see if she would respond after the first attempt, make some phone calls, take a dump in her nice bathroom, check their watch and then moved the fuck on. Why is it so hard to find good help? ;)