Birthday Sluts | Dlisted

Joan Van Ark (69)
Joe McElderry (22)
Keshia Chanté (24)
Diana DeGarmo (25)
Abby Elliott (25)
Missy Peregrym (30)
Eddie Cibrian (39)
John Cho (40)
Clifton Collins Jr. (42)
Jenny Shimizu (45)
Femi Kuti (50)
Arnold Vosloo (50)
Ian Buchanan (55)
Laurie Metcalf (57)
Eddie Levert (70)
Joyce Carol Oates (74)
Eileen Atkins (78)
Bill Cobbs (78)

Posted by: Michael K

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Birthday Sluts

Submitted by Dion flowerboy on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 7:46pm.

MK, I take it as a personal valentine that you put a Knots Landing clip. XOxoxox to you. A lot of stunt queens this B-day. A round of mocktails for them.

Submitted by caffeinecrazed on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 7:16pm.

Happy Birthday Laurie Metcalf, a.k.a Sheldon Cooper's mother in TBBT.

Submitted by lislop on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 6:06pm.

I wonder what Angelina got Jenny Shimizu for her birthday.

Submitted by Migraineuse on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 5:05pm.

Submitted by Mrs. Voorhees on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 2:52pm.

Picture an even uglier version of Shelley Duvall and you have Joyce Carol Oates.

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Must be great to be a male author. Nobody cares what they look like. No one uses noncompliance with beauty standards as an excuse to treat them like shit.

You're out of your jurisdiction there, self-appointed beauty police.

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I'm a heretic. Feel free to drive me from your midst.

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 4:03pm.

Eddie Cibrian, you famewhoring loser, I hope you have the worst birthday ever. And please don't take staged pictures of it with Falcor.

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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."

- Yogi Berra

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 3:00pm.

HBD Laurie Metcalf!

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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012

Submitted by Mrs. Voorhees on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 1:22pm.

Picture an even uglier version of Shelley Duvall and you have Joyce Carol Oates.

Submitted by Scott in NYC on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 1:17pm.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Laurie Metcalf!!! She was HILARIOUS in "Desperately Seeking Susan"!!

Submitted by OXA on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 1:15pm.

Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 1:15pm.
Joan Van Ark was the Aniston of her generation: no discernable talent and a laughably narcissistic emphasis on her appearance

So very true, years ago a friend of mine worked on a movie of the week she had a small part in. He said the hardest part of the gig was to pry the mirror out of her hand long enough to get her scenes.
Her face now looks like a horrifically carved Halloween pumpkin.

Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 12:58pm.

LMAO Lucifer! The fanatics are lucky you don't address them more often! *wipes floor with swiffer* ahhahahaah

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 12:54pm.

Happy birthday John (cutie), ♥Clifton♥, Eileen and the other b-day sluts today!

Clifton's an excellent actor, very talented! He's much like Philip Seymour and can play anything! ;D

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦≈♠░░░░

Submitted by soulks on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 2:10pm.

I miss Knots Landing!!! Valene was the lady/Gary's love, Abby the skank w/brains. ;> HB to all today!

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"even better than a fat tick likes a lazy dog"- Lizard Lick Towing

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 12:15pm.

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 1:26pm

you meant St. Angie, right?
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i HATED Valene - Team Abby. Happy Birthday anyhow, Joan.

HB Fema Kuti, Eddie Levert and Bill Cobbs

go away Eddie Cibrian and take you know who and you know who else with you.

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 11:56am.

Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 1:15pm.

Tell me about narcissistic emphases on appearance when Aniston has a face lift in her 30s, numerous nosejobs and a chin implant; on top of a raging eating disorder, an apparent drug addiction and an embarrassing White Saviour complex. And by the way, winning an Oscar for playing a lunatic when you really are a lunatic does not indicate talent.

Submitted by beware on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 11:58am.

I literally lol'd at this.

Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 11:45am.

Joan Van Ark was the Aniston of her generation: no discernable talent and a laughably narcissistic emphasis on her appearance.

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Aniston is artistically, intellectually and reproductively barren.
Paltrow is a walking argument against nepotism

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 11:34am.

Submitted by literarylioness on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 12:15pm.
Man, Joyce Carol Oates has got to be one of the most overrated writers out there. Just because you write a lot does not make you a great writer.

I agree with the first point, and would like to throw in Sylvia Plath as well; and Stephen King's career is the most glaring proof of your second point.

Submitted by Orangina on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 11:31am.

The eyes have IT!

Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 11:26am.

Joan Van Ark looks like the scream mask and Joycelyn Wildenstein produced a child.

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I want you to get on them fat chubby knees and take muh manhood in to your sugarwalls!-Early Cuyler -Squidbillies-

Submitted by PerverTITo on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 11:06am.

Happy Birthday Eddie Levert..Keisha Chante ( for those who don't know a singer, Aaliyah lookalike and drakeisha's first love)

Uggh Is Cibricunt really 39? I thought he was years younger..maybe them 2 r fighting for his youth serum.

Submitted by Bigbendy on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 11:05am.

Happy birthday Laurie Metcalf........funny as hell on Big Bang

Submitted by nuzzlelicious on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 11:02am.

H.O.E.N, my guess on the Rimes twitter stuff is things escalated on a very personal and legal level in that triangle. Shit's gettin real over there.

Submitted by humans_off_earth_now on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 10:57am.

Love you Laurie Metcalf.

HB Joyce Carol Oates, you absurdly prolific mofo.

Speaking of Eddie Cibrian, where's the Douchebag Couple From Hell been lately? Did Leann not pay her Twitter bill and get cut off or something?

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"End well: this isn't going to." - MK

Submitted by christine the hoff on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 10:55am.

laurie was terrific as jackie on roseanne! HB.

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"I didn't know whether to shit or go blind, so I closed one eye and farted"

Submitted by nuzzlelicious on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 10:49am.

I still think Val and Abby should have taken Garrett out of the equation and just fucked each other! LOL

Submitted by literarylioness on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 10:45am.

Man, Joyce Carol Oates has got to be one of the most overrated writers out there. Just because you write a lot does not make you a great writer.

She came to my college campus once and talked about herself in the third person.

I did like her short story "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" She should stick to shorts.

Submitted by crazyinjapan on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 10:42am.

I love Joyce Carol Oates so much! She came to my college and gave a reading. She is so thin and so intense! Afterward, I stood in line and had her sign a book for me. I was starstruck! I couldn't say anything but a mumbled "thank you." If you've never read a book by her, you should. She is truly a national treasure and her books will be read by generations to come.