Lindsay Lohan Overslept
Time now once again for Lindsay Lohan: Shit Is Fucked. TMZ is reporting that LiLo was found unconscious this morning in her Marina Del Ray hotel room after one of her pink bag carriers couldn't wake her ass up. Someone in her circle of mess phoned the medics not realizing that this is just what LiLo refers to as "Friday morning" and not a cause for alarm. Lohan's pink bag of secrets was due for its weekend refill, and LiLo was just making a little room in it via her pill hole (aka her mouth) last night. Ain't no thing!
The official (coke) party line is that she's been working two days non-stop on her televised desecration of Liz Taylor's memory, so she's real tired.
The EMTs showed up, thought "this bitch...", roused her ass, and left. Lohan wasn't taken to the hospital and she's already back on the set of Liz and Dick. Thinking Lohan had finally tapped out, Elizabeth Taylor's ghost had ascended to a higher plane of existence. She is now reportedly back on set, furious over Lindsay surviving, and plotting to possess a Lifetime intern into putting a live cobra in the pink bag.
If all this bullshit is just Lindsay doing some DIY marketing for her Lifetime comedy, it's pretty good. I would much rather read about her almost dying several times than take a cheesy online quiz to figure out which of the Army Wives I'm most like. Answer - Kim Delaney. I drink.
• 
Easton-Ellis is going to have a ball with her if she's fucking up like that with her goodies. He'd love nothing more than to do a bunch of interviews where he got to act all jaded and pretentious about the L.A. lifestyle and drugs after she OD'd on his set.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
Oh, J. Harvey, I love you! Glad you're back.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 5:53pm.
Get back to work, slacker! Quit blowin' yer boss!
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
In my best Don Adams as Maxwell Smart voice, 'Missed it by that much'.
Methink somebody's getting fired. Fisrtmthey didn't lie for her by saying they were driving when she crashed, now they're calling the medics on her.
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"off brand work out sneakers"?
Ninja if I want to wear Spalding’s, ProWings, and Bobos to the gym, that's my damn business.
Bitch, I'm working out... Not doing daily cunt-nastics via Twitter.”
UHh - this chick lives a champagne lifestyle on Asti Spumante wages...
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Certified Slore
Hahaha! More like Andre'. =op
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"Birds are doomed when pussies can fly"- MK
Acting's hard work! You people are insensitive. You've never taken an Ambien at 10 pm to be sure you're well rested and up by 6 for work? Not her fault the beds at the Ritz are extra comfy.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 5:23pm.
Submitted by JTROS on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 5:12pm.
I used to drink every night...but now I only drink two nights a week - Fridays and Saturdays. And I think it's safe to say that I make up for all of my sobriety during the week on the weekends. What can I say? I like to catch a buzz.
And fortunately, as far as alcohol goes, I have beer taste and a beer budget, so it's all good!
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TEAM WEEKEND DRINKER.
J HARVEY HAI!!! OT, this bitch.
From Radar:
Lindsay Lohan hasn’t yet signed the contract to star in Bret Easton Ellis’ new movie, The Canyons, because of concerns about being nude in the movie, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.
REAL FEEL: Lindsay Lohan hasn’t yet signed the contract to star in Bret Easton Ellis’ new movie, The Canyons (aka the Space Between BloHan's Boobs), because of concerns she won't be nude enough in the movie, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.
As we previously reported, Lindsay, 25, has been cast in the famed author’s next movie. He tweeted the news on Monday, saying: “Shooting THE CANYONS starring James Deen and Lindsay Lohan: July 9-31 in L.A. Could not have dreamed of a better cast. Lindsay nailed it…”
REAL FEEL: As we previously reported, Lindsay, 25, has been cast in the famed author’s next movie because she blew him every day for a month. He tweeted the news on Monday, saying: “Shooting THE CANYONS starring James Deen and Lindsay Lohan: July 9-31 in L.A. Could not have dreamed of two better people to fuck on camera for very little money. Lindsay nailed it and me and my assistant and the guy down the hall…”
Even though Lindsay was cast in the role, it’s not a done deal. “She hasn’t officially signed the contract yet,” a source close to the actress tells us.
REAL FEEL: Even though Lindsay went down on everyone at the studio for the role, it’s not a done deal. “She hasn’t officially signed the contract yet because, frankly, her blow jobs left a lot to be desired and it was felt she might not be able to breathe life into the role,” a source close to the actress tells us.
“Lindsay and her team are concerned about the nudity that is involved. Lindsay would be required to do full frontal nudity, and the sex scenes are very, very graphic. Yes, Lindsay has posed nude for Playboy, but doing it in a movie is completely different. Lindsay needs to make sure that she is comfortable with it, and that this is something she can handle as an artist.
REAL FEEL: “Lindsay and her team are concerned about the lack of nudity that is involved. Lindsay would be required to do full frontal nudity (which no on except her wants), and the sex scenes are very, very graphic, but the problem is even James Peen wants a hazmat suit to do her. Yes, Lindsay has posed nude for Playboy, but doing it in a movie is completely different because she gets paid less for the movie than she does from her European johns and THEY give her coke to boot. Lindsay needs to make sure that she is comfortable with no drugs and little money, and that this is something she can handle as a professional two dollar crackwhore and not as an actress because we all know she can't act.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Yes CIJ I think Tylenol got lawsuits because of people taking it after drinking and having liver failure and the company had to put the warnings on the label?
I still love the Kim Delaney post, she is soo obviously wasted at such a formal setting. hahahaha, so glad it wasn't me. She is a sloppy drunk but still sweet, not sour like Blohan.
I wonder how hard they tried to wake her before calling paramedics because that's kind of dramatic. If after shaking her vigorously, dumping a pail of water on her and dangling a bag of cocaine above her nose, she still doesn't wake up then you can call 911.
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 5:23pm.
I have a full ice chest in the car... cum'on 5!!
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
And you KNOW that somewhere out there are pictures of her partying her face off into the wee,wee hours of the morning. Coming out in 5....4...3.....
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"Birds are doomed when pussies can fly"- MK
Paramedic please, that was only life #5 of 9.
Liver, please! You know you were trying to quit that bitch but BloHan sucked you back into her body.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by JTROS on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 5:12pm.
I used to drink every night...but now I only drink two nights a week - Fridays and Saturdays. And I think it's safe to say that I make up for all of my sobriety during the week on the weekends. What can I say? I like to catch a buzz.
And fortunately, as far as alcohol goes, I have beer taste and a beer budget, so it's all good!
*reaches in Jack's cooler and snags a cold one*
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 4:58pm.
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Oh, I understand how cheap it is, but even IN THIS ECONOMY I can't bring myself to drink it. I like the $$ beer and wine. Too bad I'm a po' ass mo' fo' with rich people tastes - as my mother would say, I have "champagne tastes on a beer budget".
This is why I only drink one night a week.
Thank God!
I'm in another city right now & freaking out cuz I'm about to run out of gas & waiting on a doctor to see me, worried about getting home safe, etc. etc. etc.
But a new Lilo f***-up put me right back at ease! All is right with the world again & I take comfort that no matter what happens, I can always count on Linds to screw up worse than me
She's better & more reliable than a Xanax!
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She sent me an email once that ended with "let me know if you don't receive this.". -- Brown-Eyed Girl, June 5, 2012
Submitted by JTROS on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 4:51pm.
LOL, wow you really had a bad experience...
*cracks open a cold one*
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
exhausted by standing around reciting maybe three lines...damn not even 30....nope folks it is the drugs and booze no doubt that is "exhuasting" her...oops I meant Sea Jasper of course...that is what we are calling it...damn that pink bag of tricks....I forgot her code names for pills, coke and booze...
Submitted by JTROS on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 4:51pm.
Lol - but it's cheap! And it goes down like water. And they make 30 packs.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 4:35pm.
I switched to Busch Lite.
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GAG!! I'm having a flashback to college. We drank Busch Light in the dorms (it was cheap and we were underage). If I so much as smell, or even think about that swill, my gag reflexes kick in. That happens when you vomit Busch Light out of your nose after the Century Club.
**dry heaves**
She's exhausted? MY ASS. I know PAs that work on sets for 18 hours straight with an hour lunch break if they are lucky. They stand on their feet all day, sometimes in the sun, take orders from jergoff 2nd DAs and manage to not get dehydrated and/or clinically exhausted. How is this possible?
I hate her.
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Also - you know who else works 48 hour days? DOCTORS, RESIDENTS, FELLOWS! They manage to do it. STFU.
I sleep like the DEAD, but as soon as you touch me I wake up.
Die already Hohan.
crazyinjapan - thank you for the advice!! I will check it out.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
♥♥♥ STONEY!!!!! ♥♥♥
You haven't been around, blondie... I switched to Busch Lite.
chewin - when I went to FL a couple of weeks ago, 5 guys, 13 30pks, 2 days.... good times.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Jack, if I may, let me suggest Benadryl instead of Tylenol PM if you actually do drink that much. Tylenol and alcohol together can give you liver failure. Not preachin', just carin'. :)
@Jack- Bath salt drug related crimes are up 2000% and it's the older sluts gettin hooked on it. You need to jump on it now while it's still cool and hip like...
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It's so cold in the D....
And I'm trying do figure out who was directing and shooting and supervising the script while she was feverishly working through the night. I'm pretty sure the crew gets overtime when they work overtime, but they have unions that wouldn't allow that bullshit and the production does not have that kind of budget, anyways.
I have to laugh at the geniuses who thought THEY would be the ones to get her straight and fly right. They got what they deserved.
Jacko drinks miller lite.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
If this mess of a mess doesn't get help soon a la Robert Downey, Jr., she's going to wind up taking a neverending nap a la Amy Winehouse.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 4:24pm.
Well, that's good. I love beer so much and I would drink it 24/7 if I could get away with it, but alas, the age is catching up with me. And I must drive and I WILL NOT got through another DUI.
Although you drink Busch Light right? So do I - and last weekend on Saturday night, Mr. Chewi and I drank a case and a half of it - between the TWO of us. The people we were with were looking at us like a couple of alkies.
*googles Promises in Malibu for myself*
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
HAHAHAHA!! Thornholio... I'm not opposed to trying drugs but that bath salt shit SCARES ME!!!
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
@Jack- I just cant with alcohol anymore...A little wine now and again with a side of Bath salts and a sprinkle of cannibalism...and smoke a little sea jasper...
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
It's so cold in the D....
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 4:22pm.
doesn't phase me... only time I feel like shit is if I get less than 5 hours of sleep... or drink whiskey *gag*
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
It's Friday Lins...Time to re-up the secret pink bag full o candy...
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
It's so cold in the D....
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 4:02pm.
I drink 12-18 beers a night and pop 2 Tylenol PMs before bedtime and still wake up at 7:20, usually without the aid of an alarm clock... of course, I'm a professional.
Are you serious? Wow, I used to do that (minus the Tylenol PMs) but I'd be a total wreck at work if I did that now.
*googles Promises in Malibu for Jack*
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
Yes because every director and producer wants their lead to look and act like a damn zombie. 48 hours? Ho sit down.
Every nurse (or similar profession) that has worked (or IS working) 12-hour shifts for 7+ days straight would love to accidentally give this bitch too large of a dose.
Oh c'mon you guys - she's clean! She's trying her best but everyone is against her! C'mon! The paparazzi have a complete vendetta against this child!
Oh shit! I gotta go - my pants are in total flames!!!!!!!!!!!
Love,
White Oprah
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
nobody in hollyweird works 2 days straight with no sleep. NO BOD Y! hohan lies and lies and lies and gets away with it every time.
Submitted by MadgesVadge on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 3:51pm.
Lindsay actually looks good in this photo. Color me shocked.
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Really? with that tarted up trout pout?
She worked for two days and got so tired she couldn't wake up? LOL, bitch please.
Naturally I'm all over this story. So she has been working without sleep for two days? Really? SAG allows that? And maybe if she had let the chauffeur drive her to work last week she wouldn't have crashed that car and lost time filming and she wouldn't be working around the clock to make up lost time on that low budget campfest.
I am so familiar with this asshole's MO. She's probably convinced herself that she's doing her very best. But everyone is against her. And she's going to work anyway, even though she was UNCONSCIOUS this morning because she's such a professional. Meanwhile she can't stay home and go to bed early for a couple of weeks while she's actually WORKING. For once.
She's always fucking tired. She's never made a movie where she didn't call in sick, claiming exhaustion. Maybe play-acting is too hard of a job for her lazyass ass. Imagine if she had to be a real whore, like the ones on Cops, getting $10 for a bj. That would be fucking exhausting.
Submitted by JTROS on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 4:02pm.
I, for one, am not looking forward to the day she actually does overdose/get into a horrific car accident/whatever.
No, cause you know she's gonna take some innocent out with her, prolly some kid crossing the street at the wrong time. sadly.
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"I didn't know whether to shit or go blind, so I closed one eye and farted"
Bitch needs a new assistant, if he can't successfully take the blame for her intoxicated driving and can't wake her ass up on time he has got to go
Oh for fuck's sake