Lindsay Lohan Overslept
Time now once again for Lindsay Lohan: Shit Is Fucked. TMZ is reporting that LiLo was found unconscious this morning in her Marina Del Ray hotel room after one of her pink bag carriers couldn't wake her ass up. Someone in her circle of mess phoned the medics not realizing that this is just what LiLo refers to as "Friday morning" and not a cause for alarm. Lohan's pink bag of secrets was due for its weekend refill, and LiLo was just making a little room in it via her pill hole (aka her mouth) last night. Ain't no thing!
The official (coke) party line is that she's been working two days non-stop on her televised desecration of Liz Taylor's memory, so she's real tired.
The EMTs showed up, thought "this bitch...", roused her ass, and left. Lohan wasn't taken to the hospital and she's already back on the set of Liz and Dick. Thinking Lohan had finally tapped out, Elizabeth Taylor's ghost had ascended to a higher plane of existence. She is now reportedly back on set, furious over Lindsay surviving, and plotting to possess a Lifetime intern into putting a live cobra in the pink bag.
If all this bullshit is just Lindsay doing some DIY marketing for her Lifetime comedy, it's pretty good. I would much rather read about her almost dying several times than take a cheesy online quiz to figure out which of the Army Wives I'm most like. Answer - Kim Delaney. I drink.
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"White Oprah probably just screeches at her, "Bitch, you haven't made me enough money to die yet. Get the fuck out of bed."
LULZZZZ
I am...doll parts...bad skin...doll heart.
I work many 14-16 hour shifts before and never have i been so exhausted I am unresponsive. I actually find that I am more sensitive to sounds when i try to sleep after those long shifts...
They should check her long list of meds. I noticed shes on a lot of meds back with her court issued rehab where they listed all the crap she is prescribed.. home girl has some serious issues..
overmedicating...
she will find her way a la michael jackson
The Ritz must have stupidly left the mini-bar fully stocked.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
Oh Lindsay!! You are soooo method!! You must have been preparing for Liz Taylor the drunk years!! of course!!!
Oh shit! I gotta go - my pants are in total flames!!!!!!!!!!!
Love,
White Oprah
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Uh-oh!
Lindsay is going to kick. your. ass!
Weren't you holding her coke in your pocket?
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"What if your house, what if your family...what if your DOPE, was on FIRE?"
"Impossible, sir- it's in Johnson's underwear".
Breakfast Club (R.I.P. J. Hughes)
Yeah, that picture is good for her 45 year old self.
I really wish she would just OD already. She is such a waste of life.
That picture of her looks like a still from a documentary on prostitution--she looks beat and desperate--its the worm lips.
I once dated a redhead who had small lips and she fit her face and was beautiful. Were she to get them inflated she would have looked ridiculous like lilo. One can't just take the attributes from other faces and combine them all on one face. Things have to go together.
Rachel McAdams and Amanda Seyfried have been working nonstop since Mean Girls. Don't recall either of them in the news for "exhaustion."
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If you ever need someone to drink with, I'll drink with you. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I'll drink with you. I guess what I'm trying to say is: I love to drink!!!
--Karen Walker
Another day, Another Lindsay Lohan HOT MESS story. She even made it onto the 6 O'Clock news.
I'm still trying to figure out why the media thinks anyone cares?
I was on the road yesterday and Hannity started his radio show with "this breaking Lindsay Lohan news..."'and I thought for sure he was reporting she was dead. Then I was depressed that I probably would never see "Liz & Dick". How selfish am I.
She was found 'unconscious in the morning', or asleep, as most people call it....
Submitted by MahatMaCoat on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 6:09am.
I want to know this ho's secret - she would probably survive a nuclear holocaust. She falls down, gets back up and carries on. Uhh
She's a crackroach.
I want to know this ho's secret - she would probably survive a nuclear holocaust. She falls down, gets back up and carries on. Uhh
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Certified Slore
Submitted by Cat Scratch on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 11:37pm.
I find it highly suspicious a "private doctor" from Lindsay's camp inspected her BEFORE paramedics were called in as TMZ reported
I'd imagine that's because when Lindsay called Lifeline to talk her out of necking herself last night, in her drug fucked stupor she probably accidentally dialled Lifetime instead and some poor assistant from Liz & Dick (who really hasn't had a day off) actually came to save her. Had she got the number right and got the suicide line, they would've told her what she needed to take to get the job done. (Because no doubt they're probably sick of hearing her whingeing like the rest of us). The day filming stops though, Lifetime's Lindsay Lifeline and Fuckup Hotline will be disconnected and she'll have to go back to terror calling Sam Ronson at 5am or something.
'Worked for 2 days straight' is Cracken speak for 'went into work 2 days in a row.' No wonder she's exhausted, poor pet. Time to take a mental health day in the form of 2 litres of Patron and a bottle of oxys. She probably texted TMZ herself on the ambulance stretcher to report that she was 'unconscious.' At least TMZ would make a fuss and pretend to give a fuck. White Oprah probably just screeches at her, "Bitch, you haven't made me enough money to die yet. Get the fuck out of bed."
god i love the comments when it's a lilo post. every comment has made me lol.
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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK
And once again...FUCK YOU LIFETIME!!!
Cactus salts causing Blo to crash on the road and in the hotel again, of course. How many times are we going to say bitch isn't going to make it to the end of this year? Nobody's wishing for shit, but this piece of work cannot be reformed without self-release. Here's what she needs to heal herself (repeat after me, Blo): "MOM, DAD - GO FK YOURSELVES I AM NO LONGER LIVING IN YOUR SHADOW I AM NOW AN ORPHAN WHO WILL MAKE MY OWN DESTINY."
Blo, you dumb shit, if you're out there reading all our shit, you might be carrying your fked up as all hell family's baggage and NOW'S THE TIME TO DROP THE BAGGAGE OFF IN THE DUMPSTER. Unless, of course, you want to be another shadow statistic. You do what you want though. Just saying.
Sick of all these unnecessary and self-inflicted baggage pre-deaths. This is my last empathy post about her.
edit, damnit
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP MCA, "no sleep til Brooklyn") *caprica six was/is here*
god do I miss the cola and gamma daze... now I am just looking forward to death...
"I've had crabs. I've had lice. I've had the clap and that ain't nice. SO WHAT!?!?!?!"
"I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure..."
Yes, official party line blah blah blah Don't care. She looks great in the top pic though!
MK, YOU as Kim Delaney = beautiful, how I love a drunk mess... the end.
"Lindsay Lohan: Shit Is Fucked" - hehehe ;D
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Until I hear Michael Lohan officially explain that Lindsay required paramedic assistance to wake up because she is ON DRUGS, I choose to believe that her round-the-clock Liz Tayloring simply tuckered her out.
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
The fact that Blohan and the Kuntrashians are so famous (or infamous, same difference) makes me want to kill myself. Why would I want to live in such a horrid world????? Why God, why?
The SandwichQueen strikes again!
Some fine prose right here.
I think it'd be great if she died this summer. What really has she left to fuck up in her life? And repetition gets boring.
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
Submitted by ewe on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 6:39pm.
ewe - she's a cockroach.
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Truths.
However, they should treat her like they did Henrietta Lacks - though I doubt she'll have anything even remotely as interesting, but what do I know? I say kill her and we'll find out.
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I read that book about Henrietta Lacks, The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, and it was so interesting and sad. Really amazing & horrifying stuff.
Michael K, in spite of your disgusting embellishments wherein you discuss things of a vulgar nature in graphic detail, I'm falling in love with you over this TRUTHFUL reporting over all this. Finally, a bitch with some common logic!
Come on now, Lindsay Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor? BULLSHIT. I won't allow her to do this to an amazing woman, a DAME.
1- I find it highly suspicious a "private doctor" from Lindsay's camp inspected her BEFORE paramedics were called in as TMZ reported
2- She worked 7PM-8AM....UH plenty of people work 12 or 13 hour days, Lindsay. Oversleeping is one thing, being non-responsive after a doctor inspected you and having paramedics come in is a little different.
3- Exhaustion and dehydration? Exhaustion is actually a serious thing, so is dehydration. She has a bed. She has access to water. So if she was really tired and thirsty couldn't she just...you know, sleep and drink?
Way to go Lifetime, you're disgracing an icon and destroying an idiot who wishes she were one.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 7:23pm.
...but was she wearing her own pants? Strange things happen when LiLo wears borrowed pants..especially if there's a Black kid around.
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hahahaha
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Beyond the door
There's peace, I'm sure
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven
that wasnt her booze in that water bottle. That was a rental and therefore not her trunk!
i love how she shows up to work afterwards and theyre just like oh you were late bc emts had to wake you up? oh thats ok! wtf??? none of us could show up late like that. shes just a joke.
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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK
Bitch is one Hot Mess. There will come some sort of tipping point where her life will have so much chaos that a movie about her will be more interesting than Liz and Richard. She can play herself in her elderly years, and they can find some young stoner to do the early years.
I wish this trick would just die already. What is this, a one month job in LA? Where she lives? Why does she need a room at the Ritz? So she has a long work day and can't get up in time the next day to make her call? Tell that to the doctors, nurses, taxi drivers and fast food workers that all pull double shifts to put food on the table.
Oh yeah, lets not forget the very expensive sports car she totaled last week. So let's review, how much has this dimwit cost the taxpayers in Los Angeles county the past two weeks - police, paramedics and fire department had to get dispatched for her car accident, and the paramedics had to be dispatched to wake her up today. I wish we could bill her, but we know any money she's made has already gone up her nose.
It could have been worse like if she was driving or something and something big like an 18 wheeler was going by...oh wait!
I knew the bane of Hollywood starlets - exhaustion - would visit the production of L&D. And that's why they hired a Lohan to lead - nobody responds to a B vitamin syringe like a Lohan.
Submitted by KA on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 8:31pm.
jesus christ what a fucking mess. i would wager it's pills for sure. pills and booze maybe, but def. pills. i od'd on pills and booze once. yup not my finest hour but that's how they found me, unconscious. that was yearssss ago though and believe me i learned my fucking lesson. this bitch hasn't
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We know she's boozin' because the police found a water bottle full of hooch in her trunk. I find that kind of sad. She's hiding her drinking on set by pretending it's water. Just like people believe we can't smell the vodka. We can.
Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 7:07pm.
One eye is looking at me, the other is looking at the drug dealer behind my left shoulder.
LMFAO
To me she looks like something death itself puked up.
I give up on trying to figure her out.
(973) Jersey Strong
It's her comeback! People please.
jesus christ what a fucking mess. i would wager it's pills for sure. pills and booze maybe, but def. pills. i od'd on pills and booze once. yup not my finest hour but that's how they found me, unconscious. that was yearssss ago though and believe me i learned my fucking lesson. this bitch hasn't.
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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK
That's a pic of her at the Whitehouse Correspondents dinner, isn't it?
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"Physical violence is the least of my priorities." - Drunken Albertan
Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 7:12pm.
TOTALLY. He's such a scary scumbag (or I imagine him to be, and I don't think there's much evidence to prove me wrong) that I think he wouldn't be above hastening her along. Not even kidding.
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I've been told that his twitter can be quite trollish when he needs attention. All you need to know about BEE's mindset is that he's a 40-something man whose icon pic is himself at 20-something. Complete twat, that one.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
...but was she wearing her own pants? Strange things happen when LiLo wears borrowed pants..especially if there's a Black kid around.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by swarm-of-locusts: "Easton-Ellis is going to have a ball with her if she's fucking up like that with her goodies. He'd love nothing more than to do a bunch of interviews where he got to act all jaded and pretentious about the L.A. lifestyle and drugs after she OD'd on his set."
TOTALLY. He's such a scary scumbag (or I imagine him to be, and I don't think there's much evidence to prove me wrong) that I think he wouldn't be above hastening her along. Not even kidding.
Why do you horz keep claiming that's a good pic of Crackhan? One eye is looking at me, the other is looking at the drug dealer behind my left shoulder. You guys need your eyes checked.
Or put nicely: I disagree.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 6:39pm.
ewe - she's a cockroach.
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Truths.
However, they should treat her like they did Henrietta Lacks - though I doubt she'll have anything even remotely as interesting, but what do I know? I say kill her and we'll find out.
The real story is: Does J Harvey secretly love Lindsay Lohan?
Why such a flattering photo?
That is the best I have seen her look in her 54 years on this planet earth.
Is that really her?
She looks kind of gorgeous in that pic. Like Melissa George. Hmm anyway give her a break. Evenone enjoys to party. I'm pretty sure you all would do the same if you got the chance. I know I would. One thing though. You never hear about Lindsay suckin on clit or dick these days. In the past it was someone different every week. Makes me wonder whats going on with her. I've a feeling that its something not too pleasant!
I do Pagents!
This sadly falls under the heading of "Don't hate the player. Hate the game". Lifetime knew darn well what they were getting into when she was hired, so I have zero sympathy for their predicament. I do feel sorry for the cast and crew who must endure a daily dose of shenanigans from their "star". That ain't right.
ewe - she's a cockroach.
How is she not dead yet? I swear, they should take samples of her dna to see what diseases they may be able to cure.
This bitch'll outlive us all.
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 6:04pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 5:53pm.
Get back to work, slacker! Quit blowin' yer boss!
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It's Friday afternoon. I've got all my work done, 350 pdf docs scanned and saved in their appropriate files, bills paid...boss is playing solitare. I think I can be here for a few.