That’s like me saying that I’m not sure if I want to shove this Zinger down my throat until I hear it land in my stomach. But we’ll play along with LiLo anyway. Lindsay Lohan apparently hasn’t yet signed her name in White Oprah’s blood to star with porn star James Deen in Bret Easton Ellis’ The Canyons, because she’s not sure she wants to bare her chichi sacks for the millionth time. In that straight-to-Netflix soft-core mess, LiLo’s character humps on James Deen, humps on other dudes, humps girls and humps anything else that will stay still long enough for her to hump on. A source tells Radar that LiLo is getting all demure and modest and shit, and is thinking that maybe she wants to keep her nipples covered for once. Yeah, this is the comedy portion of LiLo’s act. Cue up the laugh track.
“Lindsay and her team are concerned about the nudity that is involved. Lindsay would be required to do full frontal nudity, and the sex scenes are very, very graphic. Yes, Lindsay has posed nude for Playboy, but doing it in a movie is completely different. Lindsay needs to make sure that she is comfortable with it, and that this is something she can handle as an artist. It’s expected that Lindsay will sign the contract in the next two weeks, as filming begins at the beginning of July. Lindsay has admired Bret’s work for a very long time, and one of her favorite movies is Less Than Zero.”
Yes, Lindsay Lohan is an artist and she’s just going through her Lifetime phase right now. Remember when Picasso went through his “selling placemats of his artwork on QVC” phase? It’s kind of like that. But really, it wasn’t that long ago when LiLo was going to flirt lipstick out of a dog’s peen in a movie and THIS is too much for her? Either LiLo is just trying to get more money (and since this is some low-budget shit that’s not going to happen) or she’s stalling until they make Photoshop for moving pictures. If all else fails, they should just get White Oprah to be LiLo’s body double. Nobody will know the difference and White Oprah will do it for whatever’s in your medicine cabinet or whatever’s in that cup you’re holding. Bitch ain’t picky.