"Guuuuurrrrrl, Remember The Time I Pulled On Your Pubes?"
"....I couldn't get the scent of butt syrup, curdled goat milk, burnt barley and lube designed to smell like Matt Lauer's saliva off my fingers for days. Don't ask me how I know about that last one."
So You Think You Can Dance's Mia Michaels was a choreographer on Cock of Ages and one of her jobs was to turn Tommy Girl into a hot-blooded heterosexual thrusting sex machine. I heard that Mia got Tommy to thrust his Thetans off by holding a rubber replica of David Beckham's butt in front of him. Yes, they had to remove the butt in post-production, but that took less work than getting Tommy to thrust on his own. Anyway, Mia tells Vulture that she got so close to Tommy that at one point her hands went somewhere not many women have been before: his Scientolobush. Surprisingly, when Mia's fingers touched Tommy's pubic beard, his crotch Thetans didn't bite at her hand.
"I watched him transform physically from being a classic sexy man into a rock star. And it was awesome watching the transformation.
My hands were all over him at all times, but when you're working, you don't think about that. My hands were inside his pants at one point, pulling him, pulling his pubes, and it was just part of the choreography. It was just very funny, because when you're in the dance, it doesn't matter. It's about if it's right, and if it is, let's go with it."
What kind of choreography calls for pube yanking? That's some Fifty Shades of Grey: The Ballet kind of shit.
I take back what I said about OctoMom's self-love porn. The image of Mia Michaels staring into Tommy's eyes as she touched his dick mane is the most disturbing thing that has hit my mind today. I bet as Mia's fingers hovered above Tommy's Scientolopeen, she thought to herself, "I've only been with men, but for years they've been saying that I love to do lyrical moves with my tongue on lady labia. Maybe I should explore that more..."
Here's Tommy shooting scenes for Oblivion with Olga Kurylenko in NYC yesterday. I don't know how I should knowing that Tommy grows his pubes out and doesn't get a Brazilian wax next to John Travolta on Scientology spa Sundays.
• 
Submitted by KA on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 2:42am.
i absolutely refuse to acknowledge tom cruise as a rock star and will not see that horrible travesty of a movie, no matter how much you would pay me. how the fuck he got that part is beyond me. it's too bad too because i think it could have been good. without tommy girl and that juliana chick i can't stand.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I like the way you think. :)
I don't care about the height thing. Peter Dinklage & Jon Stewart are shorter and I don't care about their height. They are charming, talented and SEXY. Tom is marginally talented and fecking annoying.
Anytime someone calls Tommy Girl sexy, I puke.
Hal Sparks performing with Zero 1 is a rock star. Tom singing lame 80s songs is just an actor whose appeal escapes me wishing he had his ex-wife's talent.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 2:53am.
ohhh you know tommy is a bottom bitch, that high heels wearing sofa jumping crack pot, would squeel like a pig when those dungeon men have their way with him.
poor katie bot and suri cruise have to get ear plugs, when tommy has one of this "special boys only" meetings.
Whamo,
Oh no YOU DI-INT!! ollollolllollol *gives ya the smiling EYE* hahaha
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦≈♠░░░░
Submitted by loopygorilla on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 11:44pm.
if this cock sucker bottom bitch is straight, ill buy everyone a drink.
--
Loopy come on, for "bottom bitch" everyone deserves at least a HJ or eat out buffet! LOL ;D
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦≈♠░░░░
i absolutely refuse to acknowledge tom cruise as a rock star and will not see that horrible travesty of a movie, no matter how much you would pay me. how the fuck he got that part is beyond me. it's too bad too because i think it could have been good. without tommy girl and that juliana chick i can't stand.
-----------------------------------------
"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK
Submitted by Datura on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 9:54pm.
My husband is 5'5 (I'm 5 even on a good day). We're little bitty, but cutely appropriate for one another.
_____________________________________
I'm 5'4" and my husband is about 5'8". But my parents are both tiny - 5'1" and 5'2".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
if this cock sucker bottom bitch is straight, ill buy everyone a drink.
The second picture is hilarious. He's puffing his chest out and grinning like a goon, and Olga is just staring at him like, "Are you for real?"
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
I thought Tom Cruise was about 5'6 on a good day. He looks like a little person. Little people look better on film for some reason.
I like short men. My hubs is 5'5, and I'm 5'7. Hubs says I'm really 5'6 in a half, but I know the truth.
My husband is 5'5 (I'm 5 even on a good day). We're little bitty, but cutely appropriate for one another.
*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*
"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 3:21pm.
what are you a midget? ETA: IF YOU ARE A MIDGET PLEASE EXCUSE MY OFFENSIVENESS OMG I WILL FREAKIN DIE!!
LOL'd
I'm 5'4" which is average for chicks. I have a small physique too.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 3:31pm.
my 5'9" is barely barely that and probably closer to a true 5'8" BUT I've not had a girl ever suggest I was too short, at least to my face anyway.
5'8" on the other hand, is not tall. I guess I should rephrase and say that 5'9" is where tall begins. For dudes.
I hope this crapfest is the biggest flop of the year.
-------------------------------------
Aniston is artistically, intellectually and reproductively barren.
Paltrow is a walking argument against nepotism.
I can't stand Tom Cruise, but I will admit...he looks damn fine for 50.
_______________________________________________
"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 5:54pm.
i call shenanigans. you wear them while you're at home watching sports on TV with your hand down your pants a la Al Bundy, don't you?
===========================================
Damn...BUSTED!! :)
@ Reason, :)...Yes try the panty hose trick, to buff your leather, a light polish and then go to town, you'll be amazed on how nice it comes up!
*Thats Mia? I thought it was Pete Burns
***********
I like living this way. I like loving this way.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 5:08pm.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 4:49pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 2:56pm.
Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 2:27pm.
...
"I still have then but can't wear them because I don't want to look like a total knob."
i call shenanigans. you wear them while you're at home watching sports on TV with your hand down your pants a la Al Bundy, don't you?
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Whamo, good tip! Never would have thought to try that on leather shoes. Thanks!
*Now pictures cowboy Wham sitting back of the horse stall, undershirt and dirty jeans, ripping up some sheer black pantyhose, and spit-shine buffing up them ole leather cowboy boots...* Don't blame me, MK started this yesterday...
hahhahaha ;P
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦≈♠░░░░
Tommy Girl looks hilarious standing next to a confident-looking young woman like Olga. Can he puff his chest out anymore???
Submitted by parkerj on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 2:57pm.
Is Mia Michaels suffering from an illness? Why is she looking like Steven Cojocaru?
I thought it was him also.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 4:49pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 2:56pm.
Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 2:27pm.
...
==================================
That's easily fixed Whamo. See: MANLY COWBOY BOOTS FOR THE HETEROSEXUAL OUTDOORSMAN! *in caps* hahahaha
=======================================
Reason,back when Cowboy boots were all the rage I had a beautiful pair of black leather ones I use to really like, I still have then but can't wear them because I don't want to look like a total knob. I hope they come back in style because I really loved them. An old girlfriend showed me a great trick to get them shining by using an old pair of panty hose, I don't know if that's well known but man o man do you ever get a great shine.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 2:56pm.
Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 2:27pm.
...
==================================
...
Speaking of honest.....I read your love of tall TALL men and I worry about us Ms Fury for I am but 5' 9" and that's after hanging by my feet for an hour. I can be a lot of things my dear but taller ain't gonna be one of them.
--
That's easily fixed Whamo. See: MANLY COWBOY BOOTS FOR THE HETEROSEXUAL OUTDOORSMAN! *in caps* hahahaha
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦≈♠░░░░
HAHA pube talk is the dead giveaway Mia because he keeps his mons pubis smooth LOL... The reason Tommy Girl 'The Heterosexual' needed thrusting help is because he's wound so tight a pencil couldn't be dislodged from between his butt cheeks if it accidentally fell in there! *which happens often* It was the on-set masseur we have to thank for loosening up HETEROSEXUAL MAN, not Mia! ;P
Olga is beautiful!
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦≈♠░░░░
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 3:08pm.
5'9" is tall.
5'9" is tall for a girl. Not a dude.
Submitted by SalmaNella on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 3:58pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 3:31pm.
I really love that girl next door type pretty and no harpoon marks is a bonus other than that I don't care what colour her hair or skin is.
_____________________
You described me perfectly. I'm waiting for you...patiently.
==========================================
LOL!..:)
I wonder how much she got paid for that statement. Times are tough for scientology with John Travolta being outed left right and centre and Katiebot refusing to comply with her programming...
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 3:31pm.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 3:08pm.
5'9" is tall.
===========================================
Really??? Well my 5'9" is barely barely that and probably closer to a true 5'8" BUT I've not had a girl ever suggest I was too short, at least to my face anyway.
For me a woman that like to get silly and laugh a lot and has a great sense of humour a HUGE turn on.
I really love that girl next door type pretty and no harpoon marks is a bonus other than that I don't care what colour her hair or skin is.
_____________________
You described me perfectly. I'm waiting for you...patiently.
That Olga chick is hot! I'd scissor her 'til she disappeared. And Tommy Girl too.
*hangs head in shame, goes back to Octo post*
"My hands were inside his pants at one point, pulling him, pulling his pubes, and it was just part of the choreography."
And this is just one reason why i will never be a superstar.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Amnesty International
Shine a Light
HA HA FINALLY JANEY!
***************************
"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
MIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I had to leave for a little while - hold down the voms.
She looks scary there though - still love her. GREAT choreographer. I drink the Mia koooool-aid.
**************************************************************
Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012
Dude! I was thinking why the hell is COJO talking to Tom Cruise?! LOL
Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 3:08pm.
Oh Salma, its ok!
Also, I weigh about 300 lbs.
Right, Whamo?
---------------------------------------------
Riiiiiiiight...well you ARE funny anyway:P
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 3:30pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 3:23pm.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 3:14pm.
ah covering all the bases eh?
*dials 1-800-RentaWhammy*
=================================================
Oh I forgot to mention..
*sent comment from office*
I see my phone is ringing I'll talk to you in a second:P
LMAO @ Jacko!
***************************
"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Olga Kurylenko is one of the worst actresses in the world, how does she still get work?
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 3:08pm.
5'9" is tall.
===========================================
Really??? Well my 5'9" is barely barely that and probably closer to a true 5'8" BUT I've not had a girl ever suggest I was too short, at least to my face anyway.
For me a woman that like to get silly and laugh a lot and has a great sense of humour a HUGE turn on.
I really love that girl next door type pretty and no harpoon marks is a bonus other than that I don't care what colour her hair or skin is.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 3:23pm.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 3:14pm.
hey Whammy we're all the same height lying down
I don't care how tall a dude is as long as he's funny, has a job, his own teef oh and can rock my world in the old sackaroo ; )
================================================
*hey did you hear the one about...water picks teeth..has Kama Sutra memorized* :P
ah covering all the bases eh? I see your Mama didn't raise no foolio.
*dials 1-800-RentaWhammy*
He's a creepy ass mofo but his face looks better than most thirty year old's. What is his secret, I wonder....
---------------------
Trailer Trash.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 3:14pm.
hey Whammy we're all the same height lying down
I don't care how tall a dude is as long as he's funny, has a job, his own teef oh and can rock my world in the old sackaroo ; )
================================================
*hey did you hear the one about...water picks teeth..has Kama Sutra memorized* :P
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 3:08pm.
5'9" is tall.
--------------
what are you a midget?
ETA: IF YOU ARE A MIDGET PLEASE EXCUSE MY OFFENSIVENESS OMG I WILL FREAKIN DIE!!
_____________________________________________
"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
I really would have thought Tom was more of a brazilian...
_____________________________________________
"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 3:09pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 3:07pm.
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 3:00pm.
oh Whamo! don't dash all our hopes like that!!
=========================
Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 3:00pm.
Whamo, my goodness, you are not much taller than me!
-----------------------------------------
LOL, yes sorry Snowy, I am what I am..
I have a big heart if that helps:)...and I know what the next question is and only the lucky ones know the answer to that one:P
***********************
SNOWY? SNOWY? GODDAM CHEATER!
=============================================
No no I was just trying to answer you both on that one Ms Fury. I should have separated my comments a little better, I wouldn't actually cheat on you Ms. Fury. While I may be flirty I've never cheated on a real GF in my life.
Oh FFS, I like tall men, like men like blondes or boobs or women like Latin men or black men or blue-eyed ones. It's not superficial, all animals, including humans have their personal preferences. Sorry I brought it up for gods sake. I'll make sure I only talk about men's great personalities in future.
I'm out.
________________________________
Dark-sided!
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 3:14pm.
Submitted by SalmaNella on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 3:03pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 2:56pm.
Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 2:27pm.
My last bf was 5'8 and slight but he was a demon in the sack and real genuinely nice guy. That is all that matters!! ;-)
===============================================
I like to think I've got THAT part covered anyway..LOL :P
_________________
Well, well, howz youse doin'?
AHAHHAHA IF! GIT YOUR VEGAN PAWS OFF OF ME!!!
***************************
"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 06/14/2012 - 3:08pm.
Oh Salma, its ok!
Also, I weigh about 300 lbs. I know that you'll feel the same way...if Whamo doesn't like me for my size, then he's not the right fake-man for me.
Right, Whamo?
_______________
I heart you, Irish. You made me laugh which is much needed today.