Justin Theroux Is The "Luckiest" Bitch In The World
"Aaaaaand 1...2.. flash that ring to give Star Magazine a photo for their next 'JEN & JUSTIN ENGAGED!' cover story" is what Jennifer Aniston said to herself 4 seconds before this picture was taken. Nobody said that whoring for tabloid stories isn't hard work.
Before Justin Theroux flew to France with Jennifer Aniston in a private plate, checked into the finest hotel in Paris, ate the finest meals at the finest restaurants and took the finest shit in the finest toilet in Europe, he was in L.A. at the premiere of that Rock of Ages (aka the propaganda film secretly titled The Tommy Girl Really Does Love Pussy Movie), which he co-wrote. You'd think that the reporters at the premiere would ask the rockabilly Eddie Munster about his writing process and if it's true that the style of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was his inspiration for the line "I just threw up in my pants," but no. (Side note: Yes, the style of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle has inspired me to write about butt batter all day.) They asked him about Jennifer Aniston instead. Go figure. Justin said this shit when Extra brought up Aniston:
"Could not be happier. I always go to bed thinking I'm the luckiest guy in the world."
It's like he siphoned those words straight out of a multi-millionaire lottery winner's mouth! Not counting the hos who are about to put a spoonful of Burger King's bacon sundae in their mouth, this bitch is the luckiest dude in the world. Justin is soon going to live in a $21 million Bel Air mansion, he rests his skull every night on a pillow stuffed with cashmere-wrapped baby swan feathers, can take an elevator down to the Cabbage Patch nursery in his basement, has the most energetic b-hole ever from washing his asshole on a SmartWater bidet AND he's with a woman with impeccable fashion sense. I'm talking about those jeans and that Operation wishbone piece necklace. Aniston wears that necklace to remind her of all the special Saturday nights she spent playing Operation with her Beanie Babies. (SPOILER ALERT: The BBs won every game.) So of course, Justin is lucky. I bet his anus lips are shaped like a four-leaf clover.
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Stew: so sorry! that's the worst feeling ever
:( ((HUGS))
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 11:34am.
Oh lorrddd i hope the loonies don't come and get you :P and when they are mad at you for pissing on her idol JenAn or Angie, who doesn't even know they fucking exist LOL, they want your blood!!!
yes for sure, she is wearing way too many accessories, it seems when she is in a relationship, she piles them on, but when she is in her cat lady spinster mode, she doesn't wear any.
JenAn just wants to show all that gold, cuz she is a sugar mummy.
but when it comes to sugar mummies, JenAn or Vadge? id go to JenAn, she maybe he boring as wet toiler rolls, but at least she doesnt have a muscular vagina that can break your dick off.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 11:24am.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 11:21am
I prefer if you could put on a leotard and do All That Jazz...complete with Jazz Hands. Thanks! ;)
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DONE! LOL!!
fosse fosse 1 STOP...fosse fosse 2 step turn and
drop..come people move that leg like you MEEEEAN it...smile...show them you're hands....that's the way you do it, make Liza PROUD people!!!
*dances out of thread yellow cardigan wrapped around shoulders*
that zipper on his jacket makes him look quite "stylish"
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Monday morning, at around 1145 am, my beagle jumped our fence to go play with his best friend, my mother's dog, right next door.
A neighbor was driving by and hit him, killing him instantly. I am heartbroken and don't know what to do. I just knew we would have him in our lives for at least 20 years- he had just turned 2.
I love him so much and miss him every second of every minute since he was taken from us. I love you, Elmer. You were my best friend. I know Heaven is getting used to your sweet craziness and incredible love. I held you and know you were already gone but I know you heard how much I love you, my baby boy, and will miss you. You were the most important thing in my life.
Elmer- Doodle, I will always, always love you.
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 11:36am.
HATE that outfit. But her hair is outstanding - I'm envious.
And she must be happy, because she's put on some weight. Get it, Jen
++++++++++++++++++
OMG OMG BABY BUMP RUMOR!!!!!!!!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 11:23am.
I don't hate them. I don't care about them. They are trying to be the next Hollywood Power Couple and it isnt there.
Except for "Friends", Aniston hasn't had much success in the movies. Any movie that was a hit that she was in was NOT a staring role for her, but she plays the girlfriend or the wife or the chick in the flick. Nothing memorable or exceptional.
Theroux did a few things, but got lucky and hooked up with Ben Stiller for Tropic Thunder (an overrated movie except for Robert Downey Jr's campy, spot-on performance). The movie they did together (in which Aniston was able to wrangle Theroux from his long time girlfriend) bombed. Other than talking about babies, marriage and babies, what else is anyone saying about Aniston? Surely not her acting skills...
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Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12
Whamo: I too, loathe musicals! And yet I love music, go figure! ;p
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
HATE that outfit. But her hair is outstanding - I'm envious.
And she must be happy, because she's put on some weight. Get it, Jen.
He does look Fonzyesque!
LOL @ loopy. That probably does happen quite often.
I like them better than Brangie, but roll my eyes at ALL of them. And I do so love to rile up the loons. That is some good entertainment, for sure.
She's wearing too many accessories.
mon dieu!
why can't this attention-starved, over-exposed, untalented, publicity-seeking, lumberjack-jawed, man-chinned, desperately lonely (yes, still!), profoundly uninteresting, skanky little middle-aged nobody just GO AWAY?!?
Charity Chic: don't even bother! nobody's interested in another one of your 40,000 word missives from the mental ward of your county hospital telling us how much you love the taste of nasty Aniston toe jam.
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Aniston is artistically, intellectually and reproductively barren.
Paltrow is a walking argument against nepotism.
he rests his skull every night on a pillow stuffed with cashmere-wrapped baby swan feathers
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That's some great shit there MK.
They're boring.
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Douchechill!
He's a good looking fellow, but that hair colour is reminiscent of Travolta's astro-turf rug from the other day. Matte black is very aging, aside from looking really fake.
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY (Fonz)
I would consider myself lucky to do both of them. Hot,hot,hot!
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 11:21am
I prefer if you could put on a leotard and do All That Jazz...complete with Jazz Hands. Thanks! ;)
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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012
Submitted by stefystef on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 11:18am.
That's a lot of words and predictions for not caring.
I just really don't get the hate for any of them (brangelina, jen or justin)? It's like people seriously get worked up and wish bad things on them. LOL.
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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012
That must be some good veiny dick, cuz obviously good veiny dicks make you give it all up, money, mansion, first class travel, fine dining, fine hotels, fine everything.
I bet everytime Justin wants a new $380,000 Jaeger LeCoulter, he just mentions his olds fiance's name randomly, like "oh im gonna go take a shit, oh my phone just got a new MSG and its (insert fiances name)"
and he counts, 3, 2, 1 and JenAn is like "ohhhh justin i just saw this new Jaeger LeCoulter and its $380,000, lets go buy it now!!!"
"But Jen, I dont have the money"
"DONT WORRY!!! My ass is an ATM machine, watch me when i squat, i shit $100 bills"
And the truth is, Justin has 2 phones! one that he uses to text himself pretending to be his old fiance... psych!
I don't even wanna go into what JenAn will buy for him, when she is in need of his veiny dick. thats another story.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 11:16am.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 11:13am.
HEY NOW. Some of us like musicals.
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Ok Ok I'm sorry for my rant MJT :P
*puts on red wig, dress and sings "sun comes out tomorrow*
I don't care about her or him or them as a couple.
They are a non-entity to me.
He said all the "right" things to make sure everyone knows he worships the ground she walks on. ~gag~
No one asks him about his career, his writing, his producing, they just ask about Aniston and about fucking her. Theroux' career is now being Aniston's bitch.
Guess what? Rock of Ages is going to BOMB!!! Another failure for Theroux since he hooked up with Aniston. When the bomb movies become too much, let's see how long their "love" will last.
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Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12
They flew in a private plate? That's some Jetsons shit right there.
I keed, MK. Love you, baby.
OT: Get it, Jen.
I'd still rather fuck that than allow Brad Pitt to touch both of my no no holes.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 11:13am.
HEY NOW. Some of us like musicals. Although Rock of Ages does not appear to be following the actual Broadway show to a t, which will upset me.
Pffffft.
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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012
Dont hate this woman, just her movies and the fact that she's one of those broads that like to dress like their boyfriends. Lame.
She seems happy, WTF. Although the guy's a fucking ASSHOLE for giving us Cock of Ages. What a fucking shitfest piece of CRAP this is going to be.
I think there should be a 10 YEAR BAN on ALL musicals. Between Glee and every twink leaping around like their skipping over rainbows people have forgotten what rock and roll really is all about!
When was the last time you heard one of these guys parking a car in the bottom of a hotel pool and throwing a TV out a window?? It's all granola eating corporate wake up calls and in bed by 11 now.
MOTHERFUCKER NO DOY!!!
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
No hate for Jen but that outfit makes her look dumpy as hell and she has a great figure.
I love her in blouses and those pencil skirts she wears but she has adopted that biker look that her boyfriend has and it does nothing for her fab figure.
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Dark-sided!
If I was fucking her I'd consider myself lucky too.
As long as she doesn't open her mouth to speak, however.