Justin Theroux Is The "Luckiest" Bitch In The World
"Aaaaaand 1...2.. flash that ring to give Star Magazine a photo for their next 'JEN & JUSTIN ENGAGED!' cover story" is what Jennifer Aniston said to herself 4 seconds before this picture was taken. Nobody said that whoring for tabloid stories isn't hard work.
Before Justin Theroux flew to France with Jennifer Aniston in a private plate, checked into the finest hotel in Paris, ate the finest meals at the finest restaurants and took the finest shit in the finest toilet in Europe, he was in L.A. at the premiere of that Rock of Ages (aka the propaganda film secretly titled The Tommy Girl Really Does Love Pussy Movie), which he co-wrote. You'd think that the reporters at the premiere would ask the rockabilly Eddie Munster about his writing process and if it's true that the style of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was his inspiration for the line "I just threw up in my pants," but no. (Side note: Yes, the style of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle has inspired me to write about butt batter all day.) They asked him about Jennifer Aniston instead. Go figure. Justin said this shit when Extra brought up Aniston:
"Could not be happier. I always go to bed thinking I'm the luckiest guy in the world."
It's like he siphoned those words straight out of a multi-millionaire lottery winner's mouth! Not counting the hos who are about to put a spoonful of Burger King's bacon sundae in their mouth, this bitch is the luckiest dude in the world. Justin is soon going to live in a $21 million Bel Air mansion, he rests his skull every night on a pillow stuffed with cashmere-wrapped baby swan feathers, can take an elevator down to the Cabbage Patch nursery in his basement, has the most energetic b-hole ever from washing his asshole on a SmartWater bidet AND he's with a woman with impeccable fashion sense. I'm talking about those jeans and that Operation wishbone piece necklace. Aniston wears that necklace to remind her of all the special Saturday nights she spent playing Operation with her Beanie Babies. (SPOILER ALERT: The BBs won every game.) So of course, Justin is lucky. I bet his anus lips are shaped like a four-leaf clover.
• 
"Before Justin Theroux flew to France with Jennifer Aniston in a private PLATE,"
BWAAHAAAHAAAHAHAAAAA, MK!!!
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
She sent me an email once that ended with "let me know if you don't receive this.". -- Brown-Eyed Girl, June 5, 2012
What are they wearing? Is it that cold in Paris during the summer? Suede boots? I'm uncomfortable just thinking about it.
Oh my god, these two are done by fall. And if they aren't and he proposes, then he knows she has been 2nd-rounded-dickmatized. If they marry, then they'll be done in a little over a year, running with a nice slice of her $$, the dumbass she is. lmao
*********
That's certainly ALOT of fuckin' "if's" ...
Sounds like a true JJ loon right there.
IF they get married - maybe it's b/c they actually LOVE one another. HOLY FUCK THERE'S A CONCEPT! no let's justify it by saying she's addicted to his dick or he's using her for her money. How old are some of you people?
The fave game of insecure women. The ring game, or how can you show the outside of your left hand as much as possible till everyone sees your bauble
aubmitted by loopygorilla on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 11:34pm.
the hair dye is soo obvious, no one has blue black hair.
im naturally black and its a tinge of brown in daylight because of sunshine exposure, unless justin is some vampire twilight with blue blue hair.
__________________________________________________
Not true! My hubs is Middle Eastern and has blue black hair...well what's not gray or off his head.
Beats being compared to a vampire with chicken legs and a chimp with an aversion to bathing.
I guess if they're done in about 2 years it'll be about the same amount that the creepy Biily Bob put up with skeletors drama. She holds the honor of being dumped by an ugly douche like Billy.
The spinster and the Satanist ride again.
the hair dye is soo obvious, no one has blue black hair.
im naturally black and its a tinge of brown in daylight because of sunshine exposure, unless justin is some vampire twilight with blue blue hair.
"Cabbage Patch nursery in his basement, has the most energetic b-hole ever from washing his asshole on a SmartWater bidet " *ROTFLMFAO!
Oh my god, these two are done by fall. And if they aren't and he proposes, then he knows she has been 2nd-rounded-dickmatized. If they marry, then they'll be done in a little over a year, running with a nice slice of her $$, the dumbass she is. lmao
____
"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." C.Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP MCA, "no sleep til Brooklyn") *caprica six was/is here*
Sorry to hear about your lil' buddy, Elmer, SS. Very sad that he still had so much life in him and it was cut short.
On a totally different note-- I'm with you, K2.
Enough already!
I'm so sorry, Super Stew. How heartbreaking. Pets are so much more than their titles. I wish you peace and comfort and lots of wonderful memories of your Elmer Doodle.
Submitted by lislop on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 3:19pm.
The ultimate marriage of convenience is that stinky monkey and that shrinking chicken. You think they're together because they're still in love? That ended years ago. They're only together for the publicity.
...........................……………........................................
Is that you Jennifer?
Theroux got paid that kind of money for those movies? Ugh.
No wonder Hollywood is a total waste of time these days.
-------
When you combine what films like Tropic Thunder make at the box office, foreign and domestic, DVD sales, Cable deals, Netflix etc. then this money starts to make a lot more sense than any of the weird shit that happens on Wall Street. Imagine walking off with $120 million dollar bonus after you ran a giant company into the ground. Compared to that $1 million a month for writing films that make hundreds of millions of dollars doesn't seem so bad.
And it's still a lot better than spending $170 Million on Pitt's Zombie movie and now having to go in and reshoot half the movie again, which will add another $100 million to the budget before they've even spent a dime on marketing. They spent $150 million on marketing Benjamin Button so you know marketing is gonna run at least $200 million on this film, a film that is a complete mess. They've just brought in a script doctor to rewrite the last third of the movie. You can bet he's making a million a month for a film that will have to make at least $400 million just to break even. This is what happens when you make a total pothead the producer of your movie. The dude hires the wrong director, can't figure out what the Zombies are supposed to look like and then brings in the script doctor who ran "Lost" into the ground to try and fix it all. :)
Btw, the guy who wrote "Fight Club" never wrote another original script again after that. He has spent the last decade making millions and millions of dollars a years as a script doctor. Theroux and many others like him may not be as famous as a Pitt or Jolie or Aniston, but behind the scenes they're laughing all the way to the bank.
Submitted by IHateCharityChic on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 2:17pm.
Theroux makes $1 million a month as a script doctor. He recently did a polish on Ben Stiller's new film and I think he even worked on the Avengers. And he made a few million on Rock of Ages. They originally brought him in to write a few jokes and he ended up spending months on doing a complete overhaul. At $250K a week that shit adds up. Plus he made millions co-writing and producing Tropic Thunder. My point is, he doesn't really need Aniston's money. He may not have as much money as her, because most people don't, but why does everyone act like he was some unemployed waiter until Jen came along?
*****************************************************************
Theroux got paid that kind of money for those movies? Ugh.
No wonder Hollywood is a total waste of time these days.
Avengers was okay, script-wise. The special effects is what made the movie. Geeks love crap like that.
Rock of Ages looks lame (except for Alec Baldwin)
Like I said before, Tropic Thunder was overrated.
Don't overblow this guy's worth. Just another Hollywood hack. ~yawn~
______________________________________________________________
Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12
You mean that stinky chimp, who won't bathe, won't shave, is speech challenged, can't act and is starting to resemble skeletor in the weight department. Brad only looked good when he was with Jen, now that he's with skeletor he doesn't bother bathing. What for? It's not as if they are still doing it.
i had something witty and intelligent to say... but I forgot! ahh, to be in puppy love again... !
"I've had crabs. I've had lice. I've had the clap and that ain't nice. SO WHAT!?!?!?!"
"I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure..."
She goes from Brad Pitt to THAT SCHMUCK.
She must be living on extra-strength Prozac.
"Rockabilly Eddie Munster" sums it up.
http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/
Justin IS the Luckiest Bitch in the world and if he "woves" her, he can make HER the Luckiest Bitch #2! ;D
{((Super Stew))}, so sorry to hear that! ;(
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦≈♠░░░░
Super Stew, so sorry about the loss of your doggie. I have had many beagles and they are stubborn, friendly, smart little guys. They are true hounds and they make their presence known. I feel for you.
@Super Stew
So very, very sorry to hear of your loss. Losing a beloved pet is terrible. No doubt that you gave Elmer a wonderful life while he was with you. *hugs*
****************************************************
"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
Submitted by Super Stew on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 11:44am.
Aww.. I am so sorry for your loss :(
It's horrible when it's so sudden, but at least it sounds like he didn't suffer. I'm sure it hurts more than you can stand right now, but it will get better. *Hugs*
I'm sure you'd get no argument from Justin Theroux on that.
I like him a lot, actually (aside from his choady wardrobe). He's a very talented screenwriter - he wrote the screenplay for "Tropic Thunder," which I happen to think is a brilliant movie and one of my all-time favorites. He's not just some paid butt-boy. On the contrary, he's earned his status as a behind the scenes industry heavyweight IMO.
-------------------------
*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
Super Stew, I hope your little Elmer is living the good life in Doggie Heaven now. So sorry for your loss.
--------------------------------------------------------
Who are you calling silly cow?
LMAO! This post is a hoot! I bet those beanie babies did whip her ass in operation and shoots and ladders. This guy will tire of her as soon as she shows him the wedding room with the cardboard groom in the basement.
SuperStew, I am so sorry about your lovely dog :(
________________________________
Dark-sided!
Super Stew:
Sorry about the loss of your pet (and greatest friend) It is heartbreaking. :-(
Super Stew - So sorry, I lost my best girlfriend (my nickname for my dog) 2 years ago and I still get upset, but I know my girl is up there in doggie heaven chasing birds and happily crapping wherever she wants!!! :)
OK My Rant: I will take this delicious piece of ass (Justin not Jennifer (I think?) over Brad Armpit and Heroin Skeleton anyday.
OMG SuperStew! That is so sad! I am so sorry.....*hugs*
**********************************************
If you really need me, just reach out and touch me
Come on sugar let me know
The ultimate marriage of convenience is that stinky monkey and that shrinking chicken. You think they're together because they're still in love? That ended years ago. They're only together for the publicity. They both look like shit and they know it. Who'd want them now? They're both best known for THEIR relationships. Who'd heard of bongo lips before she started making out with her brother and rubbing up on that creepy Billy? She's used everything that can be deemed superficial to become famous, but she takes it further with how she uses her kids and charity. Photoops wearing a veil IS superficial.
Monkey is also best known for his relationships. He's been around the block.
SuperStew, I am so sorry for the loss of your pet. The same thing happened to my sister when her hound got out after one of the kids left the door open. Big hugs to you!
Justin is a real actor and bonafide writer, unlike the old man who refuses to bathe, who starred in Meet Joe Black and Troy. That geezer needs to stop ruining good movies with his robotic acting. Same goes for skeletor. The best she can do is purse her lips and do a few stunts. She ruins any movie that calls for real emotions. Her acting is a joke.
Why shouldn't he get his ego stroked? He's talented.
Theroux makes $1 million a month as a script doctor. He recently did a polish on Ben Stiller's new film and I think he even worked on the Avengers. And he made a few million on Rock of Ages. They originally brought him in to write a few jokes and he ended up spending months on doing a complete overhaul. At $250K a week that shit adds up. Plus he made millions co-writing and producing Tropic Thunder. My point is, he doesn't really need Aniston's money. He may not have as much money as her, because most people don't, but why does everyone act like he was some unemployed waiter until Jen came along?
The only star in these pics is that PURSE!!! I need it!
I am...doll parts...bad skin...doll heart.
Submitted by stefystef on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 1:44pm.
==========================
If you can't tag the Loons, what fun is there in life?
I LOVE Dlisted and everyone on the boards, even when I don't agree with everyone's opinion. Folks here keep it real and keep it raw... just how I like it *s*
=======================================
You know the first thing that got me interested in the D was MK's humour and writing style, then I lurked for a while because I was so intimidated by how tight of a group everyone was (then got ignored for near a year or so) but I was impressed by how people didn't resort to calling each other vicious names when they didn't agree. That was important to me, hey not to say people didn't call someone out but it wasn't this constant back and forth "ya well fuck you" YA!!! FUCK YOU TOO silliness I saw on most other site.
People here let most things go by with an open mind and don't make a disagreeing comment all that often THAT'S why I love Dlist slut bags as much as I do:)
Ugh, he's ugly and I had no idea he co-wrote that super cheesy crapfest movie Rock of ages. He's getting his ego stroked right now, but I totally see him dropping her in a few months.
#getmoneybitch
|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|.....|
"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated."
- Andrés García Torres, inventor of the Catholic Anus Ruler
Submitted by Super Stew on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 11:44am.
Monday morning, at around 1145 am, my beagle jumped our fence to go play with his best friend, my mother's dog, right next door.
A neighbor was driving by and hit him, killing him instantly. I am heartbroken and don't know what to do. I just knew we would have him in our lives for at least 20 years- he had just turned 2.
I love him so much and miss him every second of every minute since he was taken from us. I love you, Elmer. You were my best friend. I know Heaven is getting used to your sweet craziness and incredible love. I held you and know you were already gone but I know you heard how much I love you, my baby boy, and will miss you. You were the most important thing in my life.
Elmer- Doodle, I will always, always love you.
==========================
Aw, I am so sorry to hear this.
My kick-ass FIL's name is Elmer, and my nickname for my cat is Magna-Doodles.
Huge hugs and I am very sorry for your loss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 1:28pm.
Well truth be told Stef, I'd have a hard time hating you or ANY dlister even when I don't agree with them because there is always ONE in your dysfunctional family and you still love em, plus you don't sit and wax poetic about all things J/P so I'm cut you some slack and not roast you ass BUT I WILL tag you if you're loonacy gets too
loony...like you were getting there! :) :P
@ Foxxy baby they ARE due for a drop in soon you can be sure of that!
*****************************************************************
If you can't tag the Loons, what fun is there in life?
I LOVE Dlisted and everyone on the boards, even when I don't agree with everyone's opinion. Folks here keep it real and keep it raw... just how I like it *s*
Critique without fear and sans fards. *LOL*
______________________________________________________________
Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12
"Before Justin Theroux flew to France with Jennifer Aniston in a private PLATE...". Even MK's typos are funny.
Submitted by CandyPerfumeGirl on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 12:29pm.
"Could not be happier. I always go to bed thinking I'm the luckiest guy in the world."
--> Hahahahahahah. NO MAN thinks that ok? Men don't lie around in bed thinking they are so damn lucky to be dating someone. They usually think "damn, she is lucky to be with someone like me" ESPECIALLY some arrogant prick like Thoreaux. Of all the made up publicity stunts and shit to say, this really tops it. In 6 months he will be dropping her toned, skinny white ass. Men who are this hot for a women one day easily cool down.
******************************************************************
I'm totally with you CPG.
______________________________________________________________
Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12
Submitted by stefystef on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 12:27pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 12:22pm.
I am not in the closet... I'm totally out there! LOON LOON LOON!!!
Bring the hate, Whamo!!! I love the heat. Actually, it is cold in my office (it ain't warm outside, but you'd think it was 95 degrees outside the way they have this a/c blowing), so I could use some hater-ation to keep me warm! *LOL*
=========================================
Well truth be told Stef, I'd have a hard time hating you or ANY dlister even when I don't agree with them because there is always ONE in your dysfunctional family and you still love em, plus you don't sit and wax poetic about all things J/P so I'm cut you some slack and not roast you ass BUT I WILL tag you if you're loonacy gets too
loony...like you were getting there! :) :P
@ Foxxy baby they ARE due for a drop in soon you can be sure of that!
Bitch stole my line!
I have ALWAYS said that Maniston was the luckiest bitch in the world!
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
Dallas and Whamo, wth are you here when you could be you know where screwing with you know who? lmao
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Super Stew on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 11:44am.
i am so sorry for your loss and my heart goes out to you and your family. my vet gave me this when i was where you are, it may help you in some way:
http://www.amazon.com/Grieving-Death-Pet-Betty-Carmack/dp/080664348X
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
How the hell is this a relationship of convenience? The movie came out - it's over - done. They are still together a year later. They are not forced together by a gaggle of children or by a vow of marriage or b/c they have made themselves a brand. They are single and seem to be loving life and enjoying it together.
People are fuckin' weird with their conspiracy theories. Take off the detective cap already and let people live their lives!
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 11:24am.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 11:21am
you forgot to ask for the youtube, Miss Jane. the youtube, dammit!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
That's called sarcasm or snark. OF course he has the life (anyone can see that). Nicest way to put rumors to rest - and a huge compliment to his g/f. He must shake his head that these idiot reporters cant come up with an intelligent question to save their lives.
They make a cute couple -- the haters can fuck off.
He must really hate blow jobs....Coz you know he ain't never getting one...
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
It's so cold in the D....
Snowy: always beware of hair! Gives away all sorts of weird vibes. I know what I'm talking about!
Coma Caca!
----------------------------------