At this point, we’re all used to wet heaving through our eye holes at Brit Brit looking like she was just crowned Miss People of Walmart, but this is a whole new level of NO. Wheel out the barbecue grill and burn it all. The ozone layer will gladly take the hit. The only place safe for eyes to land on this picture is that cupcake in SPF’s hand. The rest is a violation against humanity. I’ve said before that I’m sort of okay with chirrun wearing Crocs, since those rubber devil hooves are more comfortable than a whale’s vagina (apparently), but SPF’s mismatched Crocs tell me he has more than one pair in his closet. Why does he have more than one pair of Crocs? That’s double the evil. Screw the Boogeyman , the real terror hiding in the bedroom closets of children is Crocs. Call the trailer witch and light the sage. Speaking of evil showing itself through footwear…
What in the HALE kind of GD UGGs are those? Are those knit condoms for UGGs?! It looks like a pair of leg warmers giving birth to tumors. Those are what Lucifer’s minions wear when performing “What A Feeling” in the Ninth Circle Ballet. Those UGGs paired with those seriously sophisticated pocket-baring coochie cutters make Brit look like she’s halfway through morphing into a dwarf pony.
WHYYYYYYYYYYY to all of this.
Will somebody please buy a box of Popeye’s fried chicken chips, find Brit Brit on the streets of Santa Barbara and offer to trade her that deliciousness for those devil’s intestines boots? She’ll do it and then you can throw that shit into the fire.