Bitch, You So Deep
Pass this to the team of philosophers studying the meaning of the name of our new messiah. After Beyonce and Jay-Z gave their first born the name of the champagne room at The Blue Iguana, theories as to why they gave her that name ranged from, "Hos named her after a tree covered in Smurf jizz" to "Hos are obsessed with the color blue and number 4." There's a new theory out there and this one comes from the mother of the infinite blue light of holiness herself. Beyonce slapped a passage from Rebecca Solnit's "A Field Guide to Getting Lost" onto her Tumblr page and The Atlantic Wire (via Crunk + Disorderly) thinks it unlocks the meaning of Blue Ivy™ Carter's name. I don't know about that, but I do know it will unlock the meaning of the eye roll you're about to make. The Atlantic Wire broke it down for us:
"The world is blue at its edges and in its depths," Solnit writes in the passage Bey posted. "This blue is the light that got lost."
It's the opening to "The Blue of Distance," the second chapter. If Beyoncé read past the opening passage, then she understands the depth behind the chapter's name.
Solnit sees value in cherishing the desire she associates with the color, instead of treating desire as "a problem to be solved." Or in other words, looking into the "blue of distance" without wanting the distance to go away.
File that under: Beyonce Has Had WAY Too Much GOOP In Her Life. But seriously, Beyonce probably just Googled "Blue" and "deep shit" and after that passage came up, she threw it on her Tumblr page to give bitches something to blog about. And I fell for it.
Beyonce can try to throw us off the trail all she wants, but we all know she either named Periwinkle Fern after the belly rash she got from wearing that pillow all those months or after the secret password needed to get into the Illuminati's lair. You tried it, Bey.
• 
*shoves IG's head in the toilet* *GAG*
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by ditquoi on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 1:45pm.
YES! Haahahaha. I love FG.
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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012
oh my God, die already
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http://tinyurl.com/69rcrqy
You know she called Goop for approval on this fuckery, and Goop was like "Yaaaasss, bitch, yaaasss!" These two have become partners in public annoyance, and I fucking love it.
This reminds me, I have a cousin who names her daughters really special "exotic" names, and every time I've just been like "Um, that's nice." I won't say what the names are because I have a family member who reads Dlisted, but the last girl's name sounded like the name of a Thai massage parlor, I kid you not.
I just googled 'deep blue' and 'shit' and got this...
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qaAYKQX8MMg/T6-kH3mrnRI/AAAAAAAAClA/lyAnii763f...
Followed by this... DO NOT open if you have a weak stomach.
http://www.shitposter.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/IMG_10491.jpg
back when mtv did the making the video show, destiny's child was featured for whateverthefuck cassingle they were hocking. anyway (don't ask why i remember this shit), there was a bit where the 'yonce was meeting one of the models that was also in the video. they were in the hair/make-up room. model introduces herself and says, "i'm a mactress." the 'yonce stares at her in complete confusion. model finally explains, "a model actress." still take the 'yonce a second to catch the fuck up.
in summation: she's as dumb as a fucking box of pregnancy pillows.
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watching hardcore ufos
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 1:31pm.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 1:24pm.
It's family guy when Peter tries to get smart for Lois' dad and he reads the New Yorker Cartoon. And he basically stands there for 3 days trying to get it.
*crickets*
*sun goes down*
*crickets*
*sun goes up*
*crickets*
ohhhhhhhhhhh I get it yeah that's...that's kind of funny
can I get a copy of this week's Jugs?
:D
@ MJT...That was a FUNNY FG!
Submitted by sinjin on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 1:20pm.
"The world is blue at its edges ..."
It was discovered the world is actually round, not flat, aaaaages ago. It has no edges.
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Obviously the book was written by Sheri Shepherd.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 1:39pm
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Once again, well said Sucky. LOL!!!
sinjin -- that's what I was thinking, what is this stupid bitch talking about, that the world has edges? I hate when stupid people try to sound profound.
Submitted by sinjin on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 1:20pm.
"The world is blue at its edges ..."
It was discovered the world is actually round, not flat, aaaaages ago. It has no edges.
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I don't know Sinj, I think the world is flat but bent all around until it touches it's self everywhere.
How's THAT for some heavy thinki..oh look a butterfly, I love butte.....what were we talking about oh ya, Yes I do like butter on my toast.
Submitted by Athina on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 1:30pm.
Nothing is more entertaining than when ignorant fools try to look smart. Goopy and Madonna are especially guilty of this.
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Madonna is the QUEEN of trying to sound/appear/present herself as much smarter than she actually is. Letterman fucking owned her one day on his show when she (wrongly) accused him of using a word incorrectly. Take that, you dumb pretentious cunt.
yes this is very deep but did you know the meaning behind Beyonce's name? Let's decipher the deeper meaning together.
First off, it's very clear to anyone in the world of ART and MIND THINKING that the root word of the name Beyonce is BEYOND, so when we say the name BEYONCE, we are beckoned think beyond our boundaries and everyday perceptions, then if you take the letters "ce" and put them together, you get the sound "see", so therefore we can confidently conclude that BEYONCE is actually "SEE"ing "BEYOND" all around her, from people, places and things, her depth cannot possibly grasped by the average human mind. You're welcome.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
There's a clothing boutique down the street from me on Manhattan Ave in Manhattan Beach called Ivy Blue. They've been there since 2009
Beyonce is so completely full of shit, and that passage she quotes is meaningless faux-poetry gibberish. Feh.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 1:31pm.
Uhg. I can't believe you got me on a FG quote. I haven't seen that one yet...
On topic: Azul de la Hiedra looks Hee-span-ik.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
So, she named the child based on what the color blue means to someone else? I think it all boils down to ghetto bougie nonsense from upper class Buppies working in the entertainment industry.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
Well i guess if you need more meaning to your bebeh..
*Renames cat to quantum of solace, looks around intelligently*
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 1:24pm.
It's family guy when Peter tries to get smart for Lois' dad and he reads the New Yorker Cartoon. And he basically stands there for 3 days trying to get it.
I'd be more apathetic if I weren't so lethargic
It's like trying deciper Beyonce. Someone needs more Monday TBS.
NEVERMIND! ;)
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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012
Nothing is more entertaining than when ignorant fools try to look smart. Goopy and Madonna are especially guilty of this.
Good grief this child isn't even a year old and I'm already sick of hearing about her. And someone really needs to hand Beyawnce the "Get over yourself ho, you aren't the first nor last to pop out a baby and name them some stupid shit, you insufferable vapid twat" memo.
*eyeroll* ANYWAY... O.o
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 1:18pm.
keep waitin
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Blue blood
yeah that is why they named her Blue because they are aristocats y'all (misspelled on purpose)
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
This chick is dumb as rocks.
She didn't complete high school, right? I can't stand to listen to her speak in interviews. It always sounds like she has marbles in her mouth and the only phrases she repeats are "i'm so blessed" and "it was amazing".
Hate this ho.
Bet Cher and Chastity started out like this.
LOL Queenie BK!
Well, WHORSE faces have to stick together1
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
if you said it were in a book, i'd call shenanigans. but, yeah, i think Beyonce could manage to get through a poem. yet, this blahblahblah sounds more like some shit Jay-Z would come up with than a Goop by-product
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
"The world is blue at its edges ..."
Pssst! It was discovered the world is actually round, not flat, aaaaages ago. It has no edges.
As for Britney's kids: those are hillbilly names.
@ Jack -
i would be apathetic if i wasn't so lethargic
*waits to see if you get it*
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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012
Beyonce probably just Googled "Blue" and "deep shit" and after that passage came up, she threw it on her Tumblr page to give bitches something to blog about. And I fell for it.
BAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!
But MK, at least you realized you'd been suckered in, and can admit it. :-)
ETA: Maybe there should be a "Bitch You So Deep" tag...
Blue Ivy is a stupid name, but it could be much worse. I hear mothers in my neighbourhood shouting more cringe-worthy names than that.
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
"Bitch, you so deep" about covers it.
Or, as teenage Hekki would say with mockingly wide eyes, "How proFOUND".
#ifuckinglovemichaelk. She tried it.
My nickname was "Red" among my guy drinking buddies, back in the day. I even have a beer mug engraved with it. Should I trademark that shit?
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Chiri - why is your name now Chirio?
Eyeroll is right. Shutup, Beyonce. I used to be the one of the few people I know who actually liked you and would defend you. You are so not making my job easy.
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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012
I couldn't even finish reading.
Bitch, your daughter is not the second coming of Christ in female form.
FUCK OFF AND DIE!
Considering that this baby is gonna be milked for what it's worth, your comment don't apply to Blue Ivy, Zuma or Kingston.
Having that said - I love how the most famous children in the world - Sean Preston and Jayden James - take that Brangelina kids! - have normal names.
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 1:03pm.
Okay, we get it. You read.
I still don't think it's fair to give children unusual first names. They're the ones who have to live with it. If you're so into "unique" names, change your own.
Submitted by QueenieBK on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 1:10pm.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ...
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*Joins Queenie in the bed, drools a little bit*
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ...
ETA every time I see a post about this child, I hear Falcor yodeling "Bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuue!" and I can't stand it.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Beyonce most definitely thinks that she is an intelligent woman....unfortunately she's not as intelligent as she thinks she is, because intelligent people DON'T name their children after such weird things like a fucking hotel, give it the name of Lucifer and turn the baby itself into a fucking business....oh Beyonce you're SO sophisticated - you even can quote!
"Solnit sees value in cherishing the desire she associates with the color, instead of treating desire as "a problem to be solved.""
I read that shit 17 times before getting it....
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
I'm betting money Goopy had something to do with this. How does Beyonce have time to read? Seriously.
Fucking pretentious bullshit. Stupid twat.
sounds like one of those Secret Books, no thanks
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
huh?is this a love and light message?anyway please call me Chirio™ from now on thank you!
Coma Caca!
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Okay, we get it. You read.
I still don't think it's fair to give children unusual first names. They're the ones who have to live with it. If you're so into "unique" names, change your own.
barf
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I don't steal and I don't lie, but I can feel and I can cry
A fact I'll bet you never knew
But to cry in front of you, that's the worst thing I could do