Would You Hit It?

June 12, 2012 / Posted by:

I was going to write words about how the cops found a water bottle full of booze in the trunk of Lindsay Lohan’s Porsche after the crash (FYI: It’s not illegal in CA to have an open container of the sweet nectar in your trunk.), but why talk about that mess AGAIN when we can stare at the lightning bolt veins on Milo Ventimiglia’s body instead. I know, at first I thought that was a lost still of Demi Moore in G.I. Jane or a Photoshopped picture of Tommy Girl at the boys only Scientology summer picnic. But nope, it’s that dude on Heroes who used to have troll sex with Hayden Pantywhatevers. 

Milo pumped his way to a body full of muscles for That’s My Boy. I used to think that the only way I’d see That’s My Boy is if a zombie was chasing me and the theater I ran into to get away from it happened to be playing that shit show. But now they’ve given me a reason to see that mess. (Okay, they STILL haven’t given me a reason to see that mess unless the theater puts a naked Milo Ventimiglia on every seat.)

And duh, I’d hit it. Does a bear shit popes in the woods (or whatever that saying is)? I’d even hit it while reading the 6,900,312th LiLo story of the day. Oh, and about that water bottle of booze…. Carrying the sweet nectar in a water bottle is so tacky! That is some shit you do in junior high school. Everyone knows that all refined and classy adults carry their booze in a Wine Rack. Grown up, Blohan!

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