Last January, I stared at a picture of Vanessa Bryant PNJ (post nose job) on my monitor and softly sang the lyrics to “Wind Beneath My Wings” after reading that she hit Kobe Bryant up big in the divorce settlement by getting 3 Newport Beach mansions and half of the $150 million he made during their 11 year marriage. I was expecting Vanessa to use her gold digging shovel to break ground on GDU (Gold Digging University) so she can teach amateur wallet fuckers the tricks of her trade. BUT WAIT, hold your applications to GDU, because the Yoda of gold diggers has pressed pause on her divorce. Vanessa and Kobe never signed the papers, and for the past few months they’ve been going back and forth. The marriage is now back on.
TMZ says Kobe and Vanessa are working on patching up their torn apart, bloody carcass of a dead marriage. A source says that Kobe hasn’t moved back in with Vanessa yet, but they’re trying hard to fix the problems that ripped the heart of their marriage out. Vanessa and Kobe have until this Monday to sign the papers, taking the last breath out of their marriage, or they’ll have to file all over again.
Vanessa and Kobe are trying to fix the problems that ruined their marriage? HA! That’s like a power bottom trying to let the tear in his b-hole heal, but he just can’t stop sitting on peen after peen after peen. Vanessa and Kobe’s marriage died, because he couldn’t stop sticking his dick rod in the cooch hole of any Lakers groupie who winked at his ass. So how are they going to fix that problem when he’s still trying to beat Wilt Chamberlain’s record? The only thing Vanessa is working on is trying to fatten up her checking account more. Bitch really is brilliant. Vanessa doesn’t have to smell the random twat fumes wafting off of Kobe’s crotch when he gets into her bed at night, because he’s not living with her. And Kobe is out there making more money to add to her pot. Why hug half of $150 million when you can hug half of $200 million or $250 million. Now I know the REAL reason why one of my Salvadoran relatives, who will go unnamed, said to me once, “I can’t stand Mexicans.” Bitch was just hating on Vanessa Laine Bryant’s Hall of Fame-worthy gold digging game. The end.