Charlize Theron Chopped All Her Hair Off

And she looks like a judgmental cartoon caterpillar. Correction: A really hot judgmental cartoon caterpillar. But you know, Charlize Theron would still look hot even if she got a face tattoo of The Situation jacking off into a rubber vagina made of leftover CROCs. Okay, no she wouldn't. I took it too far.

Charlize buzzed all her hair off to play Furiosa in that Mad Max: Fury Road (Fun fact: The cops call the street Mel Gibson lives on "Fury Road") movie starring Tom Hardy as Max. Charlize took a Flowbee to her mane of white gold lusciousness, because in the post-Apocalypse there's nowhere to plug your flatiron and the pile of rubble that used to be a Sally's Beauty doesn't have leave-in conditioner under it. So it's best just to chop that shit off.

I'm more curious as to how Charlize cut her hair off than as to what's really hiding underneath that hat (dun dun duuuuun). When people cut all their hair off, I always ask them if they did it in a rage-filled, melodramatic, emotionally raw, Mary-J-Blige-as-your-cutting-hair-soundtrack kind of way. You know, they caught their piece rubbing his genitals all over their best friend's face or their DVR didn't record the last 10 minutes of the Mad Men finale, so they lose their minds. They run into the bathroom, look for scissors, can't find scissors, run into the kitchen, grab a knife, run back into the bathroom and start sawing off pieces of their hair while loudly bawling about how they're cutting their past away and shit. Then as their surrounded by mutilated pieces of their murdered hair, they cry sing the lyrics to Not Gon' Cry. That's some Angela Bassett in Waiting to Exhale shit and it's the only way to cut all your hair off. Do that shit with feeeeeeeling. I do it with a wig every now and again when I need to feel something.

Here's newly buzz-headed Charlize leaving a medical center in Beverly Hills yesterday with her tiny son Jackson.

FameFlynet, Splash

Posted by: Michael K

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Beautifulest • Charlize Theron

Submitted by SalmaNella on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 10:17am.

I don't trust anyone that pretty. gonna pass her one to Sweetas and any of the others

Submitted by whippersnapper on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 9:46am.

Submitted by suckandfuck on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 10:48am.

MIGUELINA YOU ARE MOVING TOO FAST WHERE ARE YOU GOING? ARE YOU LEAVING?
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^THIS...is there something that you are not telling us Michael?

Submitted by guest on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 9:45am.

I don't like it.

Submitted by Few Words on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 9:41am.

the hell? thats some charles dickens shit haircut.

maybe she got lice?

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Submitted by Gigaboob on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 9:40am.

She looks like Splice.

Submitted by whippersnapper on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 9:40am.

Submitted by Daniee on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 10:47am.

Her boy is so adorable.
Is Mad Max the film with the Tina Turner song? It sounds familiar.
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That is Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome (Mad Max Part 2)

The first Mad Max had a bunch of obscure Austrailians in it and basically was Mel Gibson's breakthrough film for the United States.
When Mel Gibson was hot and wasn't a complete fucktard. Then things went downhill...

Submitted by skinny fat on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 9:36am.

Charlize is stunning, hair or no hair. Hat or no hat. The woman is gorgeous. And so is her little man Jackson.

Submitted by Poopele on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 9:29am.

Ok, but why did she fuck the kid's hair up too?

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 9:26am.

She is hot.

And that baby is cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute.

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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012

Submitted by elmo533 on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 9:23am.

Her attempt to not look hot is an epic FAIL.

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"off brand work out sneakers"?
Ninja if I want to wear Spalding’s, ProWings, and Bobos to the gym, that's my damn business.
Bitch, I'm working out... Not doing daily cunt-nastics via Twitter.”

Submitted by turnelbup on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 9:22am.

I think this is the best 'do' for her, actually - it shows off her incredible features and bone structure. Who needs hair when you look like that?

Submitted by Lisbet459 on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 9:22am.

Go hard or go home. Either embrace the shaved head look or don't bother. The hipster hat makes her look like a d-bag.

Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 9:20am.

Still a beautiful face so anything will probably work for her.

I feel guilty about my three white children. How rude of me to have not adopted a black child.

I've totally gone off Charlize since her bullshit interviews, gushing over K Stewart, talking like an 80s teenager and the usual bullshit over her new kid and how he farts perfume and how the stars shine in his eyes and her dogs help raise him. Look pretty and STFU.
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Dark-sided!

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 9:20am.

I hope the trilby trend doesn't last as long as the trucker-hat trend.

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Please: It's "rahnday."

Submitted by suckandfuck on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 9:18am.

MIGUELINA YOU ARE MOVING TOO FAST WHERE ARE YOU GOING? ARE YOU LEAVING?

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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.