QOTD: Snooki Is Scared Of Breastfeeding
Willy Wonka is not going to be happy that one of his Oompa Loompa took his favorite pair of glasses without asking. Drop that trick in the bad egg trap door!
If La Leche League cared about the shitastic ramblings of a pickle-brained midget sasquatch, I'd tell Snooki that she was in danger, girl. I doubt they do, so she can keep barfing at the mouth about breastfeeding all she wants. But before we get to that mess, Snooki told Good Morning America (via UsWeekly) she's naming the unborn guidoling in her womb Lorenzo (Enzo for short) and that she's taking her whole pregnancy really seriously. Snooki isn't even drinking wine, because she says she'll "be that person that has a glass of wine and [the] baby comes out with three legs." Well, Enzo probably wouldn't mind that since he'd have an extra leg to kick himself in the head with once he realizes that he's completely fucked and his parents have the parental skills of a jar of rancid pickle juice.
And about that breastfeeding shit, don't expect Snooki to follow in the nipple squirts of Dr. Blossom....
"I'm just scared. My friend did and she said it was so painful…but I definitely want to pump because it's the best nutrients for the baby. It's kind of like you're a cow and you're just milking."
I've never milked a cow, but I'm guessing it's nothing like pumping Snooki's titty leche. I'm sure that while you're milking the cow, it doesn't queef in your face and beg you to massage its fupa with pizza grease.
Besides, if Snooki wanted to breastfeed, it's not like Enzo would ever get a chance to suckle on Snooki's tete anyway. Snooki's filled with so much vodka that her mammary glands are going to make nothing but White Russians. The entire Jersey Shore cast is going to line up to put their mouth under that nipple knob. Open bar titties!
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I couldn't breast feed or pump. For some reason I found the whole thing disgusting and just couldn't do it. I felt bad but if I had continued, I probably would have had a break down.
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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The baby is the one who should be afraid. He should insist she boil the nipples first.
I don't see what Snooki is so scared of...she's doing a great job of feeding her breasts, her thighs, her ass....
whamo, you mo-fo, I love you too! In like, a totally fake way, of course ;)
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Dark-sided!
my bad M.E., and it still hurt?
my husband the cheapskate got me some pump he paid $100 for and I think it lost suction at the end just like a cheap vaccuum. it's only because we had no warning before our son came. this time, I'll invest in a nice, expensive pump.
maybe it's all about the atmosphere. I mean where do you even plug in when you have to do it in the bathroom? I think I heard major employers are obligated to provide a mother's room now...and it's such a step in the right direction. dignity and a moment of peace for mom, the perfect food for baby.
ditquoi - I had an electric pump, the Medela Pump In Style, duel pump. Sucker was close to $300 when I bought it 9 years ago! But it survived two babies.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 12:39pm.
Submitted by ditquoi on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 12:24pm.
actually I loved pumping...it was relaxing and the mother's room was full of nice magazines so I'd just relax and cow out and read. kind of looking forward to it again. :)
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Well, since I had to pump in a bathroom......
I can imagine that was a terrible experience. also, did you have a mechanical pump? I would think the manual pumps must hurt like hell. the one I had, I just strapped it on and it did its thing. it would have been pleasurable if it weren't totally gross to enjoy being milked. 8-P
The adult version of what I imagine Snooki's son will look like works as a cook at the local greasy spoon. Imagine Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force only 5 feet tall. (No I don't eat there, I like my food without shed body hair in it thank you very much)
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
Why is this fat little fuck still in the news?
she's a cow even without milking so...
Off topic: GOOOOOOOOOOO POLAND!!!!!!!!
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
How many millions of women will have babies all over the world this year, yet this chick's pregnancy is news. Go figure.
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Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 1:02pm.
Whamo, my salary has also been reduced drastically so hella yes, I mind it!
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That sucks, Irish. Hope it doesn't affect you are your family too dramatically.
I'm scared of Snooki. Does that make us even?
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 1:02pm.
Whamo, my salary has also been reduced drastically....
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Yes I can imagine it’s tough to have to scale back once you’re use to bringing in X amount of money and I’m sure it give you a great sence of contribution to make you own money to help provide. I got to say I’ve always been quite impressed with your thoughts on kids, works and such, you seem like a really well grounded woman, now don’t get me wrong you’re still a woman so you’re INSANE I’m SURE but in a lovely way just the same:P Mr. Fury sounds like a solid dude and you’re lucky to have gotten one of us good ones:)
The kids must LOVE their summer club, It’s a great way to spend summer. My mom shipped me off to a stayover summer camp for 5 weeks straight every summer from the time I was 8 – 15. There were three sessions adding up to the 5 weeks but I went to all three sessions and I even worked as a kitchen worker one year when I was too old to be a camper I LOVED it, a lot of kids cried when their folk dropped them off, I cried when I got picked up…but that’s a story for another day.
Your kids sound like cool little buggers from what I can read, good for you! I’m sure you’ll be a little relieved though when they go back to school and you get a bit more of your “me” time back.
Well, I nursed all three of mine and my nipples nearly fell off all three times plus I had a lactation consultant. I bled so much it showed through my bra AND my sweater.
Then it was almost like magic - that two week mark.
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Dark-sided!
Whamo, my salary has also been reduced drastically so hella yes, I mind it!
However, I have three young kids to care for full time for the entire summer so it's not like I have the rest of the day to hang out. To be honest, working is a lot easier.
But we are members of a club with both indoor and outdoor waterparks so we pretty much live there all summer. The club also has a 2000 sq ft child care center that is free with family membership and 12 tennis courts (and indoor pools and gyms etc) so my ass can drop the small fury's in there so I can take a break.
Working 3 hours a day from home and full time Mom/housekeeper/cook is enough for anyone so it's mainly the $ I miss. I used to be able to spend what I liked, now I can't do that. But it's all good, our club is amazing and we have a great outdoor space and deck at home so I cannot complain. Mr Fury provides very well for his family and once the kids are back in school I will go back to full-time - I hope!!I'm used to working and fulltime parenting 16 hours a day so hard work doesn't bother me! I like being productive and busy and making my own money for the family. I was a SAHM for three years with no work and that was fine, I was working my ass off with three kids all a year apart! But I'm a worker bee at heart.
Novel alert!
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Dark-sided!
well, she does have a point. i was reading of women;s nipples permanently engorging to the size of cow nipples almost as a result of regular breastfeeding. There is now plastic surgery for nipples like that too - to make them look smaller and thus the woman less like a cow. I would find that scary. And no matter, I cannot imagine having a child would not make you have all sorts of question, like how the fuck am i going to squeeze a 10 pound baby through a 10 inch long and 2 inch wide canal, or what if I dont pay attention and choke the baby or what if the child doesnt end up loving me or if i dont love it etc. That is scary.
..
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
I'm torn. I hate Snooki but I really hate La Loser League and any other pushy, militant, holier-than-thou org that tells women what to do with their bodies.
I say cage match to the death.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Submitted by ditquoi on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 12:24pm.
actually I loved pumping...it was relaxing and the mother's room was full of nice magazines so I'd just relax and cow out and read. kind of looking forward to it again. :)
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Well, since I had to pump in a bathroom......
Do you have to stop nursing when baby gets teeth? No. Again, you really shouldn't take other's experiences as gospel:
http://kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/biting/
Best to you all. Enjoy your day!
actually I loved pumping...it was relaxing and the mother's room was full of nice magazines so I'd just relax and cow out and read. kind of looking forward to it again. :)
SOW
M.E.: Yeah, there was that, too. I was very lucky that I never had any trouble with latching or supply. But then again, my mother was very pro-BFing and I grew up seeing my aunts doing it. So I didn't have any mental hurdles to get over.
My SILs both BF for a short time, but I was surprised they did AT ALL, because MIL referred to it as "gross" and women who BF are "human cows" and how you're tied down to your baby ALL THE TIME.
DWM - I'm in a good mood today!! I got a great nights sleep, got up worked out hard and now just lining up my work for the day. :D
I'm still worried about my son, especially after last night, but I'll go to OP for that.
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 11:45am.
Submitted by Webberbear: "Breastfeeding should never hurt, never. If it does, you're not doing it correctly. Baby or boob need to be repositioned. What upsets me is that people actually listen to this numbskull and there may be women out there who choose not to try because they "heard it hurts". You know what does hurt? Pumping! And that's because it's not natural. I'm not a breastfeeding Nazi and if it doesn't work for you, fine. But don't give up or not try at all because of someone else."
I agree 1,000%.
I hated pumping and was lucky enough that I didn't have to because I stayed home. Would have, though.
NYC has a public health campaign encouraging low-income mothers to BF. It's interesting.
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Totally agreed.
Since I was a working mother I nursed while at home and pumped 3x a day at work. I HATED pumping. I had to turn the heater up to 70+ to get the room almost HOT so I could be comfortable and it would take me over a half hour usually to double pump. Luckily I had a large supply and was able to pump about 40 oz a day but I remember the let downs would take forever pumping. When I nursed I'd let down almost immediately.
I was scared too. I got over it. helped that my baby was not difficult. it actually was the best part of the whole childbirth experience IMO.
M.E. I was going to ask if your day i better today but from the tone of your post I'm guessing no.
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How can a man be a mom?
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 11:39am.
Whamo, my work hours have changed (and are drastically reduced).
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I'd LOVE to be done work by 10am, especially in the summer, I'd be gone fishing everyday....literally
Is this a good thing for you, done you mind the reduction or do you do it to keep busy and keep the mind working and your skills sets up?
Pumping milk is 10x more painful and 10x harder than breastfeeding. It's harder to get a let down (where the milk releases and flows as a stream)and it's really hard to keep up your supply.
If she's so scared of it being painful, why not take advantage of the damn lactation nurses that are available to you in the hospital after birth?
Dumb bitch.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 10:31am.
shut up and show me your pussy
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OH YOU WOULD LIKE THAT NOW WOULDN"T YOU GIRLS ARE SO GROSS GAH
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How can a man be a mom?
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Submitted by Webberbear on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 11:23am.
Breastfeeding should never hurt, never.
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Bullshit.. my mom said I cut all four front teeth at 4 months and I was bottle fed from then on.
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How can a man be a mom?
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 11:47am.
Salma! I've been swamped with life recently!
Welcome back, how was your trip????
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Good to be swamped with life even if it doesn't seem like it at the time.
The trip was good. A few bump in the road with Dad taking off in Venice and wondering where the hell he went. Plus, he had a few royal meltdowns/confusion. However, with humour and buying him ice cream - it all sorted itself out. We figured out he gained 10 pounds so that was a lot of gelato!!!
I loved Barcelona. I can't wait to go back there again, this time on my own or with a friend. I also loved being back in Italy where I feel so at home.
Salma! I've been swamped with life recently!
Welcome back, how was your trip????
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by Webberbear: "Breastfeeding should never hurt, never. If it does, you're not doing it correctly. Baby or boob need to be repositioned. What upsets me is that people actually listen to this numbskull and there may be women out there who choose not to try because they "heard it hurts". You know what does hurt? Pumping! And that's because it's not natural. I'm not a breastfeeding Nazi and if it doesn't work for you, fine. But don't give up or not try at all because of someone else."
I agree 1,000%.
I hated pumping and was lucky enough that I didn't have to because I stayed home. Would have, though.
NYC has a public health campaign encouraging low-income mothers to BF. It's interesting.
Hi Irish
I haven't seen you around lately. Hope all is well!!
Has this post been up all morning?
Whamo, my work hours have changed (and are drastically reduced). So I start work around 7am and am done by about 10am! (if I don't go on the D or emails etc which I am today, thus won't be done for another half hour. I'm so easily distrac...oh, look, a rainbow..!
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Dark-sided!
I'm still traumatized by seeing Snooki's pussy and now I have to visualize her breastfeeding. *dry heaves*
Submitted by Few Words on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 11:08am.
this ho bag has lots of breast feeding practice w/guidos sucking on her tits.
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I can't stop laughing at this.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Breastfeeding should never hurt, never. If it does, you're not doing it correctly. Baby or boob need to be repositioned. What upsets me is that people actually listen to this numbskull and there may be women out there who choose not to try because they "heard it hurts". You know what does hurt? Pumping! And that's because it's not natural. I'm not a breastfeeding Nazi and if it doesn't work for you, fine. But don't give up or not try at all because of someone else.
Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 10:54am.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 10:50am.
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I've had a coffee and a tea and my own breakfast, you sonofabitch. IMJUSTSAYING.
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I didn't even know you were awake! You gotta give me a chance to know you're even around! I've been waiting for you and I didn't even have a chance to supprise you!! LMAO!:P
Few words LOL
TOO FUNNY HERE TODAY
Need to lose this phone til dark.
. BYE!!
Everybody is funny here lately maybe you all realigned with mercury or some shit! Ha ha
Mike that was absolutely the biggest lol ever had by me on dlisted. Snooki worried about pain of breast feeding no mind at all about the birth.
Guessing Snooki will have epidurals up the yin yang and then some. but who knows? Home birth underwater? Enzo I will pray for you!
Mike thanku for a big laugh. <3
Female ignorance in all these matters due to fundamentalist backward attitudes towards women. Too pathetic. But many keep with it. Dumb women no threat.
Sounding like migrainesusie... hi there migraine!
this ho bag has lots of breast feeding practice w/guidos sucking on her tits.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
JWow has been looking like a junkie for a long time now which is sad because she looked really good in prior seasons.
I understand where Snooki's coming from. I've heard some horror stories about breastfeeding and the whole concept of shaming someone who chooses not to really pisses me off.
If any BF league bothers to respond, I will hate them forever. Snooki does NOT need any more press!!!. Just hearing about this makes your brain stupid so please don't give it any more weight.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 10:50am.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 10:47am.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 10:41am.
OH YEAH, DTF YEAH!
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I've had a coffee and a tea and my own breakfast, you sonofabitch. IMJUSTSAYING.
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Dark-sided!
I was scared of nursing too...terrifed and the first 2 weeks hurt so badly I literally cried while nursing. My nipples cracked and bled all the time. Then the two weeks ends, you get used to it and nursing is quite lovely.
I'm glad to have my boobs back though. Or, rather, could donate them occasionally to Mr. F. Nursing and fooling around with my bewbs was a HUGE no-no for me.
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 10:47am.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 06/12/2012 - 10:41am.
OH YEAH, DTF YEAH!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_j9QeUoPOi4&feature=related