Good News For You Single Hos, Trace Cyrus Is Available Again
The meaning of true love is already on the dirty bathroom floor, crying into a half-empty bottle of Strawberry Hill after hearing that Zac Efron and pro beard-in-training Lily Collins broke up and now its going to bawl all of its internal organs out once it hears that the prized steed of the Cyrus family, Trace Cyrus, is no longer rearing on top of Brenda Song. There will be no double Cyrus wedding, because Trace told People that he's not going to ride off into the sunset with Brenda. As Brenda's mom Mai Song thanked the gods above the clouds for rebuking the craving for Emo pony peen from her daughter's being, Trace had this to say about their break-up:
"Brenda and I have decided to go our separate ways. We split up a couple of months ago. We will continue to focus on our careers."
Seriously, if you've ever wanted to see a Thai mother pop her pussy on her front lawn, go to Mai Song's house right now, because no doubt she's celebrating being free from those Cyrus crazies forever.
But Brenda is going to regret letting go out of Trace's lead rope. Brenda will have to find a new moonshine supplier and where else will she find a hot piece who is such a bad ass motherfucker that he has TWO feather drop tattoos. Those feather drops tattoos obviously represent the two canaries he took out. Yes, Trace is that bad. DanRad, you know you want to get on that while it's hot.
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Her parents are probably ecstatic.
I have no idea what Trace (is he a secret Palin?) is like but my first impression is to feel sorry for him. He seems like a pitiful fellow who never gets it right and doesn't fall in love with women who will love him back and is getting used left and right.
Or he could be a dick. I dunno.
...the fuck; he's crazier looking than his horsey sister
She's adorable.
He looks like a tattooed asswart.
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Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Mon, 06/11/2012 - 10:08pm.
reminds me of Nic Cage's dumbass poseur kid.
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I forgot about that psycho. He looks sane now though - http://www.tmz.com/2012/05/21/nicolas-cage-westin-christina-fulton-awkwa...
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
Brenda Song was hilarious on Zack and Cody or whatever it's called, pretty sure my son made me watch them all. I hope she can climb out of the Disney whore outfit one day and find a good, normal comedy to star in. Funny girl.
He looks like something you'd use to unclog a toilet drain.
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
That is a really ugly shirt he's w...wait. That's NOT a shirt?! Eww. And this coming from someone who like tattoos.
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.
Well thank God for Brenda. I think she's pretty. She's probably give birth to a unicorn.
I thought they had broken up already. But whatever.
You guys killed me with all the horse jokes.
Thank gawd! He is so ugly.
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.
Trace and Dreamboat Doherty should be the next Bachelors. Come on network TV!
Submitted by Nanners on Mon, 06/11/2012 - 10:01pm.
LOL. That made me totally cackle out loud.
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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012
Submitted by Cowjam on Mon, 06/11/2012 - 9:55pm.
He is a most unfortunate looking young man, isn't he? What exactly is this "career" he's going to be focusing on? Surely not in the entertainment industry?
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It's the Kentucky Derby.
i'm going to take a wild stab in the dark guess, and say that if this guy didn't have the Cyrus bankroll he'd be getting his ass kicked constantly with how "edgy" he looks like he's always trying to be.
reminds me of Nic Cage's dumbass poseur kid.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Wow he's awful.
Love the easygoing, gentlemanly clenching of girlfriend's dress fabric.
I wonder if he could locate Earth on a globe.
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"End well: this isn't going to." - MK
Good news for all your single hos, LOL. Great. Now if only I were a misguided teenage girl with low self esteem and into emo hipster doofuses.
*sings*
All the single fillies, all the single fillies
Now put your hooves up....
'Cause if you liked it, then you should have put a rein on it...
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
I'm sorry but she looks like Tia Tequilia and he's just gross. But good on her that she got away from him. Did she really have an abortion? Dang!
Just
LOOK
at
THOSE
HANDS!!!!!!!!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦≈♠░░░░
*SHOCKEDFACE*
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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012
Submitted by agirl on Mon, 06/11/2012 - 9:49pm.
She had an abortion. Her parents forced her.
That A&W root beer he is holding is so distracting.
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
He is a most unfortunate looking young man, isn't he? What exactly is this "career" he's going to be focusing on? Surely not in the entertainment industry?
If your son looked like that wouldn't you be slapping yourself 24/7? Tragic.
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
oh goody my dreamboat is now free to marry me.
It was never going to work out because she's too pretty and has actually had success in the entertainment industry. He's a very average looking kid, but with beautiful blue eyes. Unfortunately, he's cancelled out the only thing he had to work with in the looks department with the tattoos and hairstyle. At least his sister's rich and seems to like him; he'll always be taken care of, if nothing else.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
Was she ever really pregnant with his baybay? Or was that a lie? And who as the lie-teller? One a'them? Or did she just gain weight? Or did she haz 'bortion? At her mama's request? What was the true story there? Any of you slores know?
*confused yet not innerested enough to google, besides I get all my news and info from MK and the Dlisted comments*
BTW, I cannot stand Brenda Song and that cutesy widdle hair-flipping Asian chick shtick. I loved "The Social Network" (wish Armie Hammer was twins for real!) but Gotdamn she was annoying!
Hopefully he kept his saddle so the kids can ride him at the county fair.
Neigh, say it isn't so! She better light some candles and thank Jesus she got out f that mess. I agree, she is too cute a girl to settle for him. Maybe she thought she could break him in.
HALLELUJAH. She's much too pretty to be wasted on the Beverly Hillbillies.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Someone must've told these two that a horse and a human cannot successfully mate...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Brenda Song, JUST GO girl! Don't look back, LEAVE EVERYTHING.
hahaha "Trace's lead rope" Yes, DanRad would so climb that heeeeeehawww heeeeeehawww ;)
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦≈♠░░░░
Run Brenda, Run!
Cuz them horses gallop fast, Girl--
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She sent me an email once that ended with "let me know if you don't receive this.". -- Brown-Eyed Girl, June 5, 2012
*pawing hay twice for "Oh noessss"*
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Please: It's "rahnday."
Thank god these two never reproduced.
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
Imagine if HE came up to you and tried to hold your hand.
Their 'careers'??? Ahahaha