Hot Slut Of The Day!

June 10, 2012 / Posted by:

Jonah Ryan (as played by Timothy Simons) from my current favorite show (after My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding… and Monster In-Laws….. and Nurse Jackie…. and Total Blackout…. and True Blood …. and No Kitchen Required…. and 48 Hours Mystery…. and House Hunters International… and whatever is showing on HSN at 3am) Veep! In honor of tonight’s season finale of Veep, today’s HSOTD is Jonah, the liaison between the White House and the Vice President who is what you would get if a real-life Butt-head from Beavis and Butt-head somehow got a job in politics.

The entire VP staff hates Jonah, but he’s my favorite character on that shit, because he reminds me of this semi-brain fucked loner kid in the 4th grade who sold ice cream sandwiches in the cafeteria and every time I bought one from him he’d tell me farted on that one before he showed me how he can turn his eyelids inside out.

Jonah’s mom probably still buys his clothes, the only things he keeps in his Eddie Bauer messenger bag are Flinstones chewable vitamins and his own dirty cum rags, he answers every spam e-mail from a Russian sweetheart with his Skype ID and his hunchback posture tells me that he sleeps on a twin foam egg crate on the floor. And yes, I just typed about a fictional character like he exists in real life. I’m hungover and my last semi-working brain cell still hasn’t gotten up. Leave me alone.

Anyway, I hate politics, but I’m into Veep, because they’re always spitting insults at each other, it gave me the visual of using a croissant as a dildo and I’m pretty sure it’s the only show on cable where the girl from My Girl (and My Girl 2!) tells dick jokes.

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