Blame It On The Brakes
Thanks to that picture, you now know what the ring felt like when Gollum reached for it.
Lindsay Lohan's Encyclopedia of Cracked Out Excuses just got another entry. Bitch obviously doesn't think her "the bitch cut me off" excuse is good enough, because she's thrown another coke-laced excuse on top of that one. TMZ says that LiLo is now telling friends that she rammed into the 18-wheeler that allegedly cut her off because the brakes on her rented Porsche suddenly stopped working. And tomorrow, LiLo will bend over and shit out a dozen more excuses like, "The black kid was driving! I was drinking Kombucha tea!"
A source (born name: Donata Sullivan) tells TMZ that LiLo is crying to her friends that the semi-truck driver is mouth farting out lie after lie. The accident wasn't her fault (he says it is), there was no mysterious pink bag (he says there was) and nobody tried to seal his lips with some hush money (he says they did). We already know that the brakes on this messy twat's life dot work and now she's also telling her friends that the brakes on her rented Porsche didn't work either. LiLo thinks this is weird, because the people who rented her the Porsche told her the brakes were replaced just two days before she busted into that 18-wheeler.
You can't count on this bitch for much, but you can always count on her to reach deep into her ass and pull out a hilarious excuse. The brakes broke? The only way I'd buy that shit is if LiLo snorted up all the brake fluid beforehand or if the ghost of Elizabeth Taylor got revenge by cutting those brakes. Actually, both of those are serious possibilities.
• 
Re: Mad Men. I am almost scared to tune in with what happened last week. Whoa. I was never really a huge fan of my mother raised me to be admired Joan. I am not THAT surprised that she slept with someone to get a stake in the company. I mean, she did let her fiance get away with basically raping her cause she thought she was going to be wife to a prestigous surgeon. She should have just said goodbye then. Money calls the shots.
I am so hoping to see Peggy tonight.
I just wish it would be a 2 hr finale...but looks like it is just one hr regular show.....and I WANT MORE.
No clue what they will throw at us...
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You'll never be a man
No matter how many foreign bodies you can take
You'll never be a man
-Elvis Costello
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 6:13pm.
Submitted by Daniee on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 6:10pm.
Even if blowjobs are her mode of payment these days, I mean, that can't pay all that much. How hard is it to get a decent blowjob, I mean, really??
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Occam's Razor: Massive amounts of debt. Frankly, I'm amazed we don't here more about angry creditors. I'm amazed she *has* creditors.
Also, depraved sexual favours. This isn't an "either/or" situation.
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Ah, yes. We call that the "desperate sex trade" around these parts (Vancouver). It's always sad. Although, I really have no pity for this girl anymore. She isn't doing it to stay alive, score coke that will keep her from jumping a bridge or feed her children. She is doing it to constantly stay out of trouble and to try to be what she feels is "relevant".
Aren't there pictures of her blowing some guy to get into a party?
Also, wouldn't be surprised if her creditors are in under her Mom's name type of thing. And I'm not talking about banks.
@Twat Muffin & PSL - I'm going to miss MM, too! I have True Blood and Breaking Bad to lookforward to. And PSL, you're right - joan has turned down Roger on more than one occasion. However, I still don't understand her logic with prostituting herself for the Jaguar acct. I would've taken Roger's money given the alternative.
Ok. Any guesses on how the season will end? ;)
Well, at least one of my questions was answered -how did she get her claws on a Porsche? Its a rental. Even still, this trick should have a harder time getting a rental car than a NYC resident w/o car insurance given her track record.
In her defense, the excuse of having her brakes fail sounds like it came from a Lifetime movie plotline.
Twat Muffin, mefunigirl keeps commenting that Roger is an asshole for not giving Joan money for Kevin, or acknowledging that he is his child. when he has done both. Joan turned DOWN his money, and his offer to be together!
I think she missed something, because she has commented on that twice.
**********************************************
You'll never be a man
No matter how many foreign bodies you can take
You'll never be a man
-Elvis Costello
PSL -- I'm so done with Blohan, fuck her. You mentioned Roger Sterling -- did I miss something? I love him/John Slattery -- I'd be all over that man like a cheap suit. What's up??? I, too, am upset that MM is ending. But "True Blood" is starting, that helps a little.
Submitted by Daniee on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 6:10pm.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 5:55pm.
She still manages somehow to have an assistant. Sexual favors, perhaps?
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Even if blowjobs are her mode of payment these days, I mean, that can't pay all that much. How hard is it to get a decent blowjob, I mean, really??
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Occam's Razor: Massive amounts of debt. Frankly, I'm amazed we don't here more about angry creditors. I'm amazed she *has* creditors.
Also, depraved sexual favours. This isn't an "either/or" situation.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 5:54pm.
she's gonna kill somebody one day.
Hopefully it'll be herself and no one else.
Sometimes fate is kind - ask Ryan Dunn.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 5:55pm.
She still manages somehow to have an assistant. Sexual favors, perhaps?
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Even if blowjobs are her mode of payment these days, I mean, that can't pay all that much. How hard is it to get a decent blowjob, I mean, really??
Is it possible that the brakes failed on one of the most prestigious handcrafted pieces of mechanical equipment built by mankind...? Yes it is, but considering the source, highly unlikely
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
It's so cold in the D....
Submitted by salacious on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 6:03pm.
I just don't understand... she is not that rich, powerful or influential to be able to get off the hook every single fucking time! When is this bitch going to get locked up for good?
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It's L.A. From my extensive research (ie, that one episode of Futurama I watched a few years back) the criminal justice system there has bigger fish to fry.
Maybe Lindsay was reincarnated...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFvujknrBuE
Smdh. Girl please
CTH, she sure as hell will kill someone one day. And she'll STILL walk free.
**********************************************
You'll never be a man
No matter how many foreign bodies you can take
You'll never be a man
-Elvis Costello
I just don't understand... she is not that rich, powerful or influential to be able to get off the hook every single fucking time! When is this bitch going to get locked up for good?
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
The brakes broke, bwahahahahhaha. I'd sooner believe the truck's brakes failed. Rented cars are inspected in between uses. Not buying it, try again Litch!
LOL, I'd like to "break" something on LiHo!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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mefunigirl, I didn't get to check for a response last time...have you seen my responses to your comments about Roger Sterling? I am so sad Mad Men is over tonight!
On Topic. fuck Blowhan.
**********************************************
You'll never be a man
No matter how many foreign bodies you can take
You'll never be a man
-Elvis Costello
Bitch is like a cockroach; she just keeps on going even w/o a head. Bet she eats like one too.
Submitted by Grace Disful on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 5:44pm.
Hahahahahaha!
Submitted by tojo on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 5:50pm.
Is it too much to hope that MAYBE this time she'll finally get what she deserves?!
....
you'd have a better chance at:
hoping for world peace.
the economy turns around and we are all comfortable and happy with your (Freudian slip and it stays) governments.
I can fit a size zero again
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Submitted by TexnDoc on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 5:52pm.
With what? What is this delusion that this bitch is rich? She steals jewelry and rides around in a rent-a-Porsche. She's not rich. "Her people" HaHaHa.
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She still manages somehow to have an assistant. Sexual favors, perhaps?
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
she's gonna kill somebody one day.
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"I didn't know whether to shit or go blind, so I closed one eye and farted"
OF COURSE. NEVER her fault. NEVER EVER EVER.
**********************************************
You'll never be a man
No matter how many foreign bodies you can take
You'll never be a man
-Elvis Costello
Btw, I have driven cars with the brakes going out, you never tail, you also have plenty of warning, and it is unheard of for a rental to have brakes going out, also I drive on four L.A. Freeways daily and never had anything like that happen to me...fuck I HHHAATTTEEE this skank!!!
How would she have any $ to pay off people? If she was a Hilton, yes, then this would make sense.Where does she get the moolah?
<"Submitted by SANS FARDS on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 5:46pm.
100 bucks says her people already got to the inspectors at the rental car company and paid them to doctor their records.">
With what? What is this delusion that this bitch is rich? She steals jewelry and rides around in a rent-a-Porsche. She's not rich. "Her people" HaHaHa.
tojo, come on dear! Nothing is going to happen to this piece of shit.
Why is nothing ever her fault???
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
THANK YOU LIFETIME !!!! You had to give her another 15 minutes.
Is it too much to hope that MAYBE this time she'll finally get what she deserves?!!
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...the end
Lying ass skank, why could she just not perish??? Sorry but another year of this lying, drug addicted no talent ho is exhausting me already, the brakes don't work if you don't use them, what a fucking stupid cunt!!!
That face!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Her lawyers are scramblin' cause Cali don't play when you rear end someone!
and now that her dumb ass assistant TOLD the driver "we have the money to make this go away" his lawyers are thinking cha-ching!!
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
100 bucks says her people already got to the inspectors at the rental car company and paid them to doctor their records.
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
Bitch PLEASE!!!!!!!
These are the brakes! Break it up, break it up, break it up, BREAK DOWN!
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
I don't beleieve the driver even knew who she was, so why would he even make it up?
I usually don't care about this professional mess (that is really all she has been doing), but she probably needs to employ a driver or just stay the fuck off the road.
Wah wah wah wah.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org